David Weekly, #43 Christmas, and New Years

David had a good flight to St Louis. On Tuesday, he was asking me all day to go to Missouri. When I told him he had to go to Dot's, then night time, then before the sun comes up we leave, he cried. He was ready to GO! When I woke up at 0'dark-30, to take a shower and get ready, he wanted to go in the bathroom with me while I took a shower. I just told him to go back to sleep. He was disoriented about being awake and leaving the house before "it's light out." He had to go outside and check for light before he would let me dress him. We went to the airport, and as usual, I parked on the roof, so we could watch the planes, and this time, see the sun rise. It was a beautiful morning. Could not have been more perfect. We go down, get ourselves checked in. He sees a security guard, and tells him how we're going to Missouri, in lots of detail. Funny thing about being at the airport: he suddently wanted to go back home. I just think he was scared of going on the plane. I was prepared for our trip because I had a movie for the laptop, a couple of toys, stuff to write on and write with...We ate breakfast in the airport, and played with his car. He remembered about the little play area, so we went there to play a little bit before we had to board, since he was bored. :-) Another thing about getting on the plane is that he wanted to get on the small plane, and he told me I was going to get on the big plane. And I'm not completely sure what he's talking about, but he must have thought somehow we were getting on separate planes. I'm like, "No, we're getting on the same plane." And he says, "NO! You're getting on the big plane, and I'm getting on the small plane!" So I agree, but then I end up starting over, telling him we're getting on the same plane. Can I ever win with this child? So I finally told him, once we were in the air, that the plane was shrinking, and that the sound of the flaps getting moved around (or whatever is happening with them) is what caused that. And when we got close to the airport, that the plane was getting bigger again. I'm not sure he bought it, though. I just think that the small plane is the one that he sees in the sky, and the big plane is the one on the ground. He's still not good at take-offs and landings. He gets really scared.

For entertainment on the plane, he watched "Scooby Doo Goes Hollywood" on my laptop. For sound, I used a pair of earbuds, but they didn't fit his ears well, so everytime they fell out, he would say, "Uh oh!" And I'd put them back in.

We arrived in St Louis with no problems, except that he was saying it's "scary!" as we made out descent, because it's bumpy going through the clouds. He wanted me to hold him, for him to sit on my lap, which you can't do when you're about to land. Getting off the plane, someone asked him if it's his first flight, and he said, "Yeah!" This just kills me. I want to say that he does remember going on a plane before, but I can't judge what he remembers or not... We had to have Nancy pick him up since it's so cold that Amanda was unable to make the trip up to St Louis, since there was so much ice on the ground! While we were waiting for Grandma Kenney, we went out and played in the snow. He was thrilled to see his footprints in the snow. I'm grateful to my sister's in-laws for getting him a heavy winter coat, because he needed it! It was 22 degrees when we arrived at Lambert Airport, and even though he was dressed in a long sleeved turtleneck, he said "I'm cold!" so I put the coat on him in the terminal. Then we went outside, and he was so excited! We played in the snow for a bit before Nancy got there. He went off with her very well. I'd been preparing him for this change of plans because of the cold. I'm still not completely sure when he'll be back in Tampa, but at the latest it will be January 9. I talked to Amanda for a few hours later and she said that Nancy told her that David was really enjoying the snow! When he first saw the snow from the plane he said that "They have Christmas here, too, because of the snow." So holidays in general are still location specific. We have Christmas at our house, because we decorated, and so does Dot, because she decorated, and a house down the street. And, it would seem, anywhere that has snow, has Christmas.

When Nancy arrived, she taught him a new game: he said that he can see his "breaf", and showed her, and she showed him her breath, and then said, "I got you!" And then he blew his visible breath at her and cackled with delight! "I got you!" Oh what a fun game! He was very good about going with her. He'll have a lot of fun with his grand-parents and Aunt Marissa.

Saturday we went to dinner with my mother for her birthday. David behaved very well, for a 3 year old. :-) After the dinner we went to Dade City, FL, about 30 minutes or so north of Tampa, for a "Christmas Stroll", and we had fun seeing the different shops, and a bluegrass quartet, and general walking around with all the other people being there. His cousins were there, at the dinner and the Christmas Stroll thing, and we had a blast. At the end of the night, he wanted to find the horses (since there were carriage rides with horses) to tell them good night. So we went looking, but they were already gone.

David knows the name of the condition with his hand: Ectrodactyly. He says it pretty well. So when you ask him what's wrong with his hand, he says, "Ectrodactyly." My mom thought that was something else! She got a kick out of the fact that he knows, and says it. The idea is that it will befuddle anyone who asks, and hopefully they leave him alone about it. We'll just have to see. There's a kid at Gabrielle's Glen who already gives David some grief, by saying "My Daddy!" when he sees me, and of course David doesn't want anyone else to claim me, so he says, "MY DADDY!"

One of the days we were watching Curious George he repeated the way Dr. John (who sings the theme song) says "George" in his accent: J-oh-ge ... long O in the middle, and no R sound.

On Sunday we went to Walgreens to pick up a few things, and David became my defender. A man asked me for some money, and David said to him, very sternly, "NO! He's busy with me! And..." said a few more things about how we were getting presents and such. I hadn't really said anything to the guy except, "No, I can't."

We had Christmas for David on Sunday. He got some really cool toys! He got a Sponge Bob video game that comes in a single console/controller combo, two Scooby Doo movies, some clothes, some character stuff from the movie Cars, bubbles, a magnadoodle (which he was asking me how to write his name on), the Polar Express on DVD and the book, a digital Schrek watch, and a few other knick-knacks. He had a lot of fun, and had a good Christmas here. Just a bit early, though.

He had a cough again...and we did a nebulizer treatment. "Nebeewizer" It's becoming a weekly occurrence.

Monday night he would not go to sleep! He was just wide awake, and wide awake, and wide awake. He had a fever, so I gave him some children's ibuprofen, which brought his fever down. Not sure what it was, but he did sleep, eventually.

So that's it. It's been not quite a year, and what a year it's been. I'm sending this last edition of 2008 early, since David's now safely with his mother, and everything about this week is still so fresh in my mind.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Rusty

Visitation Vent

Sigh. A little background: I'm in Tampa, FL (look on the map!), and my ex is in Missouri, about 2 hours south of St Louis. I'm going to fly up to St. Louis on Wednesday the 17th, to drop off 3 year old DS for him to stay w/ her for Christmas, and New Years.
I get a text message this afternoon to tell me that it's really cold, icy, all that stuff, and that maybe DS's grandmother will be the one to pick him up. Ok, no problem. We still haven't established exactly when and how he's getting home: is she going to fly with him, are she are her bf going to drive all the way down here (I don't know why; they say it's cheaper, but really?), what? And when? She won't say, hasn't said, is waiting for her BF's employer to decide if he can have off the day after New Year's Day, which is a Friday. And is still waiting, won't give me an answer because of it.
I've been thinking that 3 weeks is good, as he's handled 3 weeks with her before with no problem back in the summer, and she said she didn't want to travel during her daughter's 9th birthday on Jan 5. I'm off the Friday of that week, so that would give her 3 weeks and 2 days to be with him, and she could fly back w/ him. I've even offered to pay for two of the three tickets that would be required...
So we're texting back and forth. She wants to know if I need to "pin down a day" (uhm, yeah!). She then asks me when I want him back...I thought we had discussed this, but here she is, asking me again. I'm slightly vague on when he should be back because of the birthday of my ex's daughter, and her not being sure of how she's going to bring him back. I know I'm being maybe just a tad too nice, but she's been doing this for a couple of weeks now. It's time to commit to something. (I'm not sure why I'm having a hard time setting a limit w/ her, but I am.) She says, "Name a day, and it's my responsibility to get him there." So I finally say, by Jan 9, at the latest. Then she goes back to the 4th as to when she'll have him back, even though she admits that flying back w/ him on the 9th is "generous"...
Why wouldn't you want to have your kid as long as possible? I'm only going this long because she won't get a chance to have him this long again for 6 months. She'll see him a week or two this spring, either late March or April sometime (around Easter), and then again for 4 weeks this time in the summer in 2009. Ugh.

David Weekly, #42

It's been a busy week. Today we were doing a little bit of Christmas shopping, and at the bookstore a lady opened the door for David and myself. He said to her, "Thank you." She was very surprised in her response, "You're welcome!"
We also went to a Christmas party at my mother's office, and it was fun showing him off. I was told that the fact that he can say his alphabet, knows some words in French, knows the letters in sign language, and a few other things make him exceptional. I don't know if this is true, but it's fun! I'm just glad he's learning how to talk. On the way over to my mother's office, he was telling me he can "say" W, but I thought, you are saying it. What he meant was that he could sign it. He was in the back of the car, trying to put together the signs for some of the letters, and he did W, and A, and a few other letters. I told him that he's signing, which sounds like "sighing" when he says it.

We went looking at Christmas lights tonight, too. We were listening to Christmas music while driving around, and he actually wanted me to sing, rather than not sing. Always a surprise, that one. He would see some of the light displays and say "Wow," but in a loud whisper. Looking at the lights was fun, and he fell asleep in the car towards the end. Other Christmas activities we've done this week include watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", which was exciting, because he did the loud whisper thing again as he watched, and would say, "The Grinch is stealing Christmas!" And he would narrate what he saw as it happened.

It's hard to get in the Christmas spirit around here sometimes, when it's 80º out, like it was yesterday. A cold front came through last night, and it's been in the 50's ever since. No snow here, like in New Orleans. The weather says it will be warm again this week coming up. So I'll be bringing David from Florida's 50's at night and 70's during the day to a high temp on Wednesday in St Louis of 33. I'll make sure to have warm clothes packed, and extra stuff handy for when we get off the plane. I'll be in St Louis at 9:45 AM on December 17, to drop him off.

David skinned his knees again, when we were playing chase outside. He's a trooper, a strong little boy. After crying about it, and getting Bactine put on it (which hurts more), he had me put Band-Aids on the scrapes on both knees, and was ready to go back outside and run around like nothing happened. Except I told him to be careful this time, and so he was, and would prove it by saying so: "I was careful this time!"

In potty training news, we have him wearing underwear. And not wanting to wear diapers. I may have him in pullups for the plane trip, though, just for insurance purposes. He rarely tells anyone he has to go, rather, he expects to be told when to go. And if you don't tell him to go, then he makes a big mess. Dot told me that some kids are easy to train, and others aren't...guess who isn't easy to train? But we are making progress.

I've been asked what David wants for Christmas. He wants basically wants what he already has. He sees things in the store that he wants, but he doesn't miss it once it's out of sight. I'd like more things on DVD that he doesn't otherwise get because I don't have cable, like Blues Clues, Wiggles, and other shows that might be educational, because I see him learning from the PBS kids shows that he watches now, like "Sid the Science Kid." On that show in particular, he learned about "decay." Other shows, like "Martha Speaks," have vocabulary lessons built into the dialog, so he's getting exposure to more big words than I would normally say to him myself. He's also learned that signs with letters on them say things, so he's asking "What that sign says!" A lot. I've been teaching him how to read, by sight, basically, but lately I'm beginning to teach him how to sound out words. It's a slow process, because he knows the letters, and that they make certain sound, but hasn't quite figured out how to put them together to make words yet, or more simply, that when he sees a letter, to make that sound. The show "Super Why!" has a segment about spelling, but they don't really address letter combinations that make new sounds, such as 'ng' at the end of 'sing', for example. But I do see that he's getting that letters make sounds.

We went to the park today, and he made a friend with another little 3 year old, and they had fun together. It's cool to see him communicate with someone else about his age, who speaks about the same way he does. They just did the same things together, run, go down the slides, and generally be 3 year olds.

It has been determined that the function of David's blanket "is for smelling." This is from the mouth of the boy himself. I'm not totally sure why the smell is important, but it is...

I love it when he figures out things. The other day I told him I have put some clothes from the wash into the dryer, and he said, "OH! Because they're wet!"

Well, as of today, December 12, 2008, there are 13 days left until Christmas. May your Christmas be merry and bright. One more update from me about David next Friday, and that will be it for the year. It's been a year since I began writing these little newsletters, and I hope you've found some joy in this little boy we all love, care about, and cherish. He is a delight, and I hope you've enjoyed reading about him as much as I have enjoyed writing about him.

Rusty

What a trooper

So we're out running around the driveway like we always do, and he trips and skins his knees. Poor kid. So I take him inside, still crying, and put some Bactine on them, which makes him cry more and louder, and then, after putting band-aids on, he says, "wet's going outside and run around some more" in his poor, pathetic little I'm-hurt-voice. But we do go outside, and run around some more. And he says, "I was careful this time!"

Another thing he wants for Christmas is pictures of him and his sister together, like the ones we got done last year. I asked Amanda about this, and she said a big fat maybe. Why deprive your son of that??? Ugh.

A sad fact

So Amanda's step-mom sends me an email today asking what David's into...for Christmas toys. This is sad, of course, because Amanda won't know, because she's not spending enough time w/ the boy...and I called her today so I could figure out what kind of present to get for Colleen, and Amanda asked me what David's into...sad sad sad...I guess it bothers me more because my father never knew what I was into either as a kid. It's a big deal for Nancy to email me. A really big deal.

Here's a memory for you

I'm listening to "Autobahn" by Kraftwerk, an electronica piece that many know...but it's from the middle '70s. I know this because I remember hearing the vinyl album at my house when I was a kid, of about 5. My father got it, and I remember one day we had all gone out and done something, but then later, after noon, everyone was asleep, but me, because I didn't take naps when I was little, and this song was on. My father had left the record player going, but this is a 22 minute song anyway. I'm looking out the window right now, remembering a gray day when I was 5, sitting on the floor, looking at the album cover, listening to this song, wishing I could have a Saturday like that with David one day, where we go out and do something active in the morning, and come home in the afternoon and rest, and sleep for a little while.

-----
Meanwhile, an intruding thought:

Amanda says that David is stubborn like her, and that I won't win some fight I'm having with him. Hopefully that was tongue in cheek, since she doesn't know him anymore, and as he gets older, she will know him less and less.

We're going to have to Act

If we want to live in a different world. We're going to have to act, if we want to live in a different world. Ahhh motivation. We're going to have to act if we want to live in a different world. Time to act, and do and go and be, not sit and wait and worry.

David Weekly, #41

David is my personal trainer. The reason I say this is because today, all day long, he's been wanting to go outside and run nonstop! And I keep telling him I'm tired, and he yells, "RUN!" or "CHASE ME!" at the top of his lungs. And he doesn't really give me the chance to say no...so I've been running all day, and I'm tired! But we made Christmas bread special. This is a tradition that my mother unwittingly started and I have since picked up. Usually I'll make it on Christmas Eve, but because David won't be with me on Christmas Eve, we made it tonight. He got to measure things, and mix things, and knead the dough, and twist up the dough and put it on the cookie sheet. It was a lot of fun, and we made a mess. :-)

We're still on the potty training thing...he's sleeping without diapers on tonight, since I've been realizing that his diaper is dry when he wakes up every morning. He's not happy about making this change at all. It's just something he fights and fights and fights. One morning, though, he said something so funny..."YAY! The water changed color!" This is after a toilet flush. Blew me away. He says all kinds of interesting things. As I was changing his diaper at one point I was talking to him about how he needs to use the potty, and he says that when he gets bigger he won't wear one anymore, but when I get smaller, I will wear one...or at the grocery store today the cashier and I were teasing him about working at the store, because he was standing in the spot the cashier normally stands in the next lane, and he says he can't work there yet because he's "still growing." The cashier was impressed with that, saying how smart he is.

And still problems with sleeping in my bed at night. One night, he actually had a nightmare. He had a dream about standing on some kind of a box that was melting in the rain. He was really scared! Of falling, or the rain, or what, I'm not too sure. But it was very unhappy for him. Fortunately I was still awake for him to come tell me about it. I told him it was just a dream, and he's awake now, and it's okay. He went back to sleep after a little while...other nights, though, he'll come in there and just lay up against me...one morning at about 5 AM or so, he stretches and says, "I'm so tired, I'm going sleep for hours!" I heard this and just roared with laughter, completely out of my half asleep-ness. I was wide awake at that point, and so was he. The child still hates it when I sleep, so I didn't get much more shuteye after that. I talked to him about letting me sleep in the morning, and it's interesting to hear him repeat to me what he heard. Sometimes, though, he'll tell me a plan of what he wants, or how somethings going to go, "Awright?" And I say, "What am I agreeing to?" And he just says, "Awright?" again, more impatiently...so I just say yes. I frequently have no idea what I agree to.

Last week I talked about his emotional awareness, so this week he's added another one: "Are you happy, or sad, or angry?"

Tuesday, it was a cold but beautiful sunny day, so David and I went to the park. And had a blast. He had me running again, down the boardwalk. But when he was done running, he developed a horrible cough, worse than I'd ever seen. To the point that I was scared for him. We went home directly, and fast, and immediately got the nebulizer out and gave him a treatment. This did the trick, but only in slowing the cough down, rather than curing it entirely. So a dose of cough medicine did the trick. I'm noticing that as he's more active, it's more of a problem for him to breathe, and he coughs, regardless of the weather. When I start hearing that cough, we slow down until he can recover, rather than me letting him continue and giving him a treatment.

After we had our Thanksgiving meal last week, my mother asked me a question, which I had never really asked myself before: what exactly is the condition with David's hand? It's called "Ectrodactyly." I did some research on it on the internet to get a better idea what that means. It's a genetic mutation, happening in approximately 1 in 90,000 births, so it's "rare." Because there's no history of it before David, he didn't inheret it from either side of the family, as far as I can tell. But he has a 50/50 change of passing it down to any children he has, because the mutation is on a dominant gene...here's a couple of links I found through Google (where else would you search?)

Wikipedia entry
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=2832319&page=1
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-ectrodactyly.htm

I am concerned, though, that not one doctor ever mentioned this to me, nor is it listed on the reports that I got from the Shriners. I do remember, vaguely, asking how he got like that, and no one was really able to answer...something about "amniotic banding" which now I think was a bad answer...We were given the chance to terminate the pregnancy when we saw his hand in the ultrasound, but I'm so glad we have this wonderful little boy in our lives.

David can say his ABCs all the way through, so I've taken the opportunity to say them with him and then sign-language/finger spell each letter as he goes. And now he can tell me the letters (not all of them, but many of them) at random. So I'm beginning to finger spell some things, like his name. It's amazing to me how smart he is, and how quickly he's learned the sign letters. I'm thinking I should take a sign language class with him, or maybe me take it, and then just share it with him. He's picked it up so much more quickly than the French that I'm trying with him, though he was actually showing off that he knows the colors in French to my neighbor.

And speaking of colors, I put up Christmas lights on my house last Saturday night. David got soo excited about them! And when we were doing the tree last Friday, David got a hold of my camera, and took lots of close up pictures of the tree, and the ornaments. I also bought an advent calendar from the drug store. It's got a picture of Santa Clause on it. I'd like to know where I can find one with a religious theme, and with the numbers in order, like on a calendar.

Monday we got back to our routine of going to school, and coming home for 2 hours, and playing, and then going to Dot's...he actually missed the routine, I could tell.

Have a good week.

A lot on my mind today

But significantly, was out at the park w/ David, temp in the mid 50's, and as we're going home, he is coughing and coughing and just can't catch a breath! So I get all worried and give the boy his nebulizer, which he coughed through most of that, too...and then I gave him the cough medicine. Whew! I hate asthma. Hate it hate it hate it. We had fun at the park, though, because when he wants to run, we RUN! And he won't let me stop. He's like my little 3 year old personal trainer or something.

He talked about being "healed" since I had given him some Blistex for his chapped lips, which he hated, "I don't wike this!" he wailed. Poor kid. I told him it was to heal his lips...so now when things are better, they are healed! Like his lungs and coughing after the nebulizer and cough medicine. "I'm healed, Daddy!"

David and I play a "game" with each other: Hurry UP! Delay delay delay. Hurry UP! Delay delay delay. We both do it to each other. He wants me to do something NOW, and I'm like "not yet!" When I want him to do something NOW, he says, "Almost." Too funny.

Today he woke me up at 6 AM with a one liner: With him making stretching noises, he says, "I'm so tired I'll sleep for hours!" Of course, he didn't sleep anymore, and therefore, neither did I. But it was so funny that I just laughed and laughed. I was half asleep, but then I was WIDE awake...and sigh...

Christmas Mourning

So David's going to be gone for Christmas, starting in about 2 weeks. I'm feeling how strongly unfair it is that I won't get to have him for Christmas, and that I'm even sending him up there a week early...what am I going to do??? I'll have all this time at "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year", and then he'll be gone for New Year's, too, which isn't so bad, really. And Amanda didn't really talk to me yesterday, so I didn't get a chance to ask her about him coming back. When am I going to do Christmas with him? Part of me wants to skip it all together. The other thing I'm thinking is that is I kindof am doing Christmas with him: we did the Christmas tree, we did the Polar Express movie...and we'll do a few more things before he goes. Just no Christmas morning, unwrapping gifts. Or going to my sister's for our family get - together. Ok, that may be a benefit: Jared won't be hurting David, and then saying he's sorry. And no fighting children, either. :-|

I get to have all the other time in the world, but I don't get the special times...sigh...

David Weekly, #40, Thanksgiving Edition

Moments of magic...this is why we have children, to share moments of magic...It's Friday night, at 10 PM, and I just put David down to bed. It's been a beautiful day. We watched The Polar Express, and it's wonderful that he's able to become emotionally involved in the movie. Two hours is a little long for him to watch a complete movie, but I'm not sure if the commercial breaks were a blessing or a curse. After about 90 minutes or so, he wasn't sure if the movie was over yet. So he kept asking. The "emotionally involved" part is when in the movie, Santa gives the little boy a bell, but the boy loses the bell because of a hole in his pocket. The next morning, after opening all of the presents, there's one left, and it's the bell. David saw this and just smiled a great big smile and hugged me in happiness and relief.

I got a Christmas tree for my house, and David helped to decorate it, along with Jared and Avery, and my mom, of course. I've been calling it the "Charlie Brown" tree, because it's small, about 4 and a half feet or so. It has lights and decorations and such. We had a blast putting it up. After it was all done, and everyone was gone, I turned off all the lights except for the tree, and the one or two other things I have that have lights in them, such as the porcelain little town shops and such that I have. I was telling David that this is magic. He whispers to me "magic"...he really gets it.

Of course, this is Thanksgiving week, and we went to our traditional feast of turkey and trimmings, at my sister's in-laws' house. David got to run around and play with Avery and Jared, relatively unsupervised. He's getting to where I don't need to be on top of his every move to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or destroy things. David doesn't like saying grace, for some reason. My mother said the blessing, but David wasn't having it. But he was at least quiet anyway, for the most part.

Wednesday I went to Gabrielle's Glen to eat lunch with him there, with all the other parents. It was nice for us to eat together with all the other families that were able to come to the lunch.

Last week I mentioned about his language growing, and changing. So here's an example conversation w/ David:

D: I want somefing to drink
R: How do you ask?
D: May I haf some gold juice, please?
R: Would you like Gatorade?
D: No. Gold juice, I fink.

It's that last part that gets me. That's the extra flourish that I'm talking about that he does...and another thing. Lately when I ask him something, and he doesn't want it, he says, "No way!" Not just "no." It kills me when I hear that.

Another item from last week: Amanda tells me that David learned about the traffic light with her when he was up there last time. It's funny how that works. When we were decorating the tree and talking about Santa Clause, he already has all the vocabulary that goes with it, even things we haven't discussed. It's almost like he learned it last year, but the words didn't come out until this year. Same thing with the traffic light. It took some time to settle in his brain for him to be able to communicate it back out.

He also is demonstrating some other emotional awareness: "Are you happy or sad?" But I'm frequently neither, so I'll say, "I'm concerned" or "Frustrated," which is how I feel in the mornings when he won't let me sleep. It used to be that I'd ask him to go play in his room, and he'd go play in his room for a little while so I could sleep. That doesn't happen anymore. Instead, he wants to wake me up, at any cost, which is sooooo hard for me to do, but he really doesn't care. "Just wake up! Daddy..." A positive note about this, though, is that his diaper is dry when he wakes up now. He still wants to sleep in my bed, too..."Frustrated."

His French is getting better. I tell him "Je t'aime" now and he made the connection, "That means I lwove you," he says. On the other hand, I ask him to count in French, or say things in French, I tell him things in French, and he says, "No. In Engwlish." Other times he's willing to do the French thing with me. It comes and goes, I suppose.

Monday and Tuesday David had another cough, so I was giving him the full regimen of cough medicine, nebulizer, and vapo-rub on his chest. At 5 AM on Monday he actually woke me up to go potty. I wish I could understand what made him want to do that, since he doesn't do it any other time. Maybe just because he was sick. Funnier was that he has these two little hippos and an elephant. The elephant is brown, and the one hippo is purple, and the other one is a baby blue-ish color. He was adamant that I hold the blue hippo. Absolutely adamant. He still makes me hold it from time to time now. I don't completely understand it, but I dutifully hold the thing.

Saturday was another day of coming home to a house full of people: David playing with Jesse's two nephews...but then they were gone, and Jesse, David, and I went out to eat. Sunday was another day of shopping for furniture for my now spare bedroom, Colleen's old room.

So...now the Christmas season has begun. It's funny that we have a holiday to think about how we're thankful for things, and people, and events that have shaped us for the better, then go into the headlong rush of Christmas. By coincidence (or not?) David asked to watch a Veggie Tales DVD of "Madame Blueberry," the tale of how to have a thankful heart. As I mentioned last week, I do have a thankful heart, and I look forward to making this Christmas magical for my son and those around me.

Je t'aime

Je t'aime means I lwove you, he says...he's learning. :-) Funny how I make a big deal about him learning a different language when kids are learning two languages all over everywhere, and learning to be fluent in both, whereas I'm just teaching him very halting French. Sigh.

Trainwreck

I don't know why my mother has such an urge to buy something RIGHT NOW! I mistakenly, foolishly, told her I have plans for the empty room in my house, to make it a nice place for visitors...and now she wants to go shopping, and buy stuff. The first time we go out to start looking for stuff, she's telling me to bring my checkbook, so I can buy something if I should need to. I don't know why she wants me to impulse buy a $400 piece of furniture, since I had said I wanted a day bed for that room. Ugh. Talk about frustration. I yelled at her to cut it out. I'm not going to buy something just because it's there. I have better things to do w/ my money. I could go on Craig's list, or free cycle...We went shopping again yesterday, and I ended up buying a futon. Very unsatisfying. But it's now there, in my house, in that room.

Did I mention how tired I was? I haven't been sleeping well lately, because David keeps coming into my bed in the middle of the night, and I just can't sleep with him there. Saturday night I even went to bed at 11 PM, and...he wakes me up at the crack of dawn, and won't leave me alone to sleep a little bit longer like he normally does. I was extremely frustrated w/ him over this, since I asked, begged, demanded for him to leave me be for a little while longer, and he just wouldn't. So I got up. I was having a terrible day, and then my mom wants to go shopping for furniture. And she's almost insistent that I buy something TODAY. She saw some end tables for $34 and she's like, "They're cheap!" I so don't care. Why am I here?

After the shopping fiasco is over. I make dinner, feed the boy, put him to bed...and he wakes up a couple of hours later. Seems that he was having a nightmare. Something about a box getting rained on that David was standing on top of...but he was very unhappy, crying and crying. But what made it worse was that he had a cough, and his breathing was shallow...and his heart was racing. We talked about his nightmare for a while, and I held him, telling him it was just a dream. Then I gave him some cough medicine, and tried to put him back to bed, but that wasn't happening. I decided to do the nebulizer thing, which helped a lot. This is all around midnight or so. About 5 AM he wakes up again, not able to breath...so this time I gave him some chest rub, which helped him sleep. We both slept until at least 10 AM this morning! I finally had enough sleep, thankfully. Another thing about the 5 AM deal is that he asked me to go potty all by himself, not something I thought of on my own at that point, and he went! Woohoo! We did the nebulizer again in the morning...he was unwilling to eat, even though he asked for cereal. He just wanted to drink his milk. And he was whiney and clingy...poor kid. Coughing up a storm. I took him to Dot's, still coughing, but not that bad.

Also had a long talk w/ Amanda...she's conflicted big time. She admitted how much she missed David, and how she consoles herself for him being gone. We talked about a lot of stuff.

Notes

David this morning (Saturday morning) is hanging out with me in the bathroom while I'm taking a shower. He's talking to me...laying on the floor, and I can't see him since I'm behind the curtain. At some point, though, he tells me he has to go potty...and then takes off his pants, and his diaper/pullup, puts the little seat on, and sits himself down...and then he can't go, because he's already filled up his diaper. He was very unhappy that there was nothing coming out, but I told him it's okay, since he got another step of potty training: taking off his pants and sitting on the pot. (I'm going to have to teach him to stand up, too, at some point.) I was very happy! And of course, he demanded his 5 pieces of candy.

He understands the concept of keeping his diaper dry, but is not totally on board with it, though he did get on the potty all by himself today. It was such a surprise!

While I'm in the shower, I think of all the things that I missed in my last missive, and then I sit here and can't think of those things. I think maybe I've lost the art of letting my mind wander as I write. hmmm...

David Weekly, #39

It's been a cold week this week, with temperatures lower than normal. David's been alternately liking and hating putting on the clothes that he normally doesn't wear to make sure they fit.

I corrected David today, when I roar at him, he says, "Don't rar me, daddy!" This is usually when we're playing and roar at him. He also says it when I growl, but I told him I was growling, so now he calls it a growl. I spent a good part of my day at my mom's on Sunday, and we were successful most of the day at keeping his pullup dry. Every couple of hours I'd sit him on potty. He only went once, though. Late in the day, I noticed he was needing to go, but it was too late. Oh well. We're still getting better. We played, too...

So on Monday I had jury duty. Took David to Dot's at an hour before I normally get out of bed, and was at the courthouse by 8 AM. Monday night, I got to take him for a walk, and he tells me to stop, because of the STOP sign. Yeah, he knows the Stop sign. He read me the letters, and tells me it means stop. So we stop. And don't move. And stay stopped. It was really funny after a while. So literal! I told him that we can at least get close enough to the other road we're stopping for to be able to see the cars coming. He waits until there are no cars at all, and then he wants to run home. And we ran the two blocks. Every time a car would come, he'd stop on the side of the road to wait for all the traffic to stop before we went again. It took a little while to get home at that pace, but that's okay. It was time well spent. On the way he sees another sign: SPEED LIMIT 20. He says that's a Stop sign, too. I had to point out a Stop sign is red, has only the 4 letters...so he's not there yet. But he's got the concept down, which is great! On a related note, he tells me that the red light means stop, and the yellow light is slow down, and green is go. Not sure how he learned this. School? Dot? His own observation? The world may never know...only because I never think to ask anyone when I see them.

David's developing a sense of time as well. He seems to know about "tomorrow" and "yesterday"...I heard him trying out the word "yesterday", because he said it slowly, haltingly...He also is cognizant of the clock hands, too, especially because they're very relevant to his time to sit on the potty.

David has a bit of an exaggerated idea of who he is, since he was telling me something was going to come on TV, and I said, we have to wait to see what they say will be on next, and he says, "But it's what I said," will be on next. He also has a thing where he will repeat himself with the phrase: "I said: Let's go!" So I'm hearing what I say to him come back to me. Fortunately, I don't swear, or use foul language, so that's not a concern. But it still seems that I have to be aware of the way that I talk to him.

Meanwhile, we're developing a routine when we leave the house for Dot's: he runs into the back yard by the hot tub and either climbs on it in happy delight that I'm going to catch him, or he goes to find a leaf (remember the clue leaf?), so that he can carry it to Dot's when we go. We look for the tree that we know is there in the neighbor's back yard that drops these leaves. He also likes to get the crunchiest leaf he can find and crackle it -- inside the house, on the living room floor.

Another language note: there's more "flourish" to his language now. I'm losing the ability to describe the way his language is growing more clear, precise, and expressive. He's more able to communicate his thoughts, and thought process.

Next week is Thanksgiving, so I'll be thinking about what I'm thankful for, and eating lots of turkey, and showing "Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" this week to David. I know that I'm thankful for all of you that read my weekly updates about a little boy...

Rusty

David Weekly, #38

It's been a good week. I got home on Saturday after work to a house full of children: Jesse ended up with her two nephews and the little girl she always babysits, plus David. When I got home, she was ready for nap! David is definitely learning how to play well with others, but hasn't mastered it yet, since he was having a terrible time sharing, and wanting to play with everything everyone else had, no matter what it was, or how long ago he'd played with it. I made a kids' dinner: baked beans, corn, and the little Hillshire Farms sausages. Everyone ate pretty well, except Jesse and I...so when it was time for Jesse and company to leave, I ended up going with them next door, and Anna fed us again. David was so funny, though, since at the end of the night when it was time to leave, the two nephews were getting in the tub for a bath, and he was begging me to get in there with them! But instead, we went home, read a book, went to sleep.

Sunday we went to see my father, but David fell asleep in the car on the way over there. Poor kid. He wasn't his usual gregarious self, and my dad was busy anyway, so we didn't stay long. It was funny, though, when I was telling David we were going to go...I said, "We're going to see my father today." And he furrows his brow, and says to me, "And when we're done seeing your father, can we go see my father?" I laughed and said that I am his father (which automatically put into my head, "Luke. I . am your father!")...too funny. So he doesn't know the word father. Well, he does now.

And he's peeing in the potty! I'm very happy about that. My head is bruised a bit, because he literally likes to butt heads with me. Ugh. But it keeps him on the pot until he's done something. I'm over the crying and the tears and the playing. He did not like naked time, he told me. He'd rather have on his diaper. Well, I said, you're not getting your diaper until you pee in the potty! Yes, it's paradoxical, I know. But it did have its intended impact. Later in the week we're getting a routine. And he's less fussy about the whole thing. He still resists until I tell him he'll sit there until he goes, so almost immediately, something happens. He's learning!

David had his first "incident" at his preschool this week. I got there at the usual time, around noon, and he came in from being outside with his class crying! And his face was dirty. So I see him and pick him up, and he says that Brandon pushed him...of course, I have to wonder if this was something that he got as retaliation, or if it's something that happened out of the blue. David told me the story a number of times, but I wasn't quite able to make sense of it. We got home and he was still upset, so I got a cool, wet rag for his face, washed him off, sat with him for a while, made him feel better.

David has officially discovered sticks. And rocks. I know I talked about this last week, but it's worth mentioning again. He collects sticks he finds, plays with them (sometimes with an emphatic HIYA! à la Japenese karate flicks), or just carries them around as he's doing other things...Or he carries rocks. I have some smooth garden stones (I'm sure these have a name, but I don't know it :-) and he finds one to hold, carry around, what have you. He discovered that holding a stone can keep his hand warm, because the stone holds heat. He rather liked that.

On the language learning front, David did something new: he asked me how to say something in French! He said he was tired, and then asked me how to say that in French, with his eyebrows doing their little furrow thing. I told him, and then he began asking me a bunch of other "how do you say" questions. I feel like he is picking it up. I also realized that I tell him I love him, but never say it in French. Part of language is communication, so I'm having to learn how to communicate in French, which I've only really had to do twice: once when I was actually in France, and when Amanda and I would speak in French to keep Colleen from understanding what we were saying. It's so much more immediate feeling, though, but I have to remind myself that he only knows English because that's how I communicate with him. He'll learn French if I use that to communicate with him. At one point, I said something he didn't understand in French, so he said, "Show me."

Another new thing: He ran away from me, went into colleen's room and closed the door. And thought that was the funniest thing! He says things are funny, and he's putting value judgements on things, like flowers. He got me the purple/pinkish flowers from my periwinkles, just two of them, saying how pretty they are. Then he brings me a white flower from the periwinkles, but this is not as pretty, he says.

And finally, we went to go see the Space Shuttle launch today. It was a long, slow drive over there, since there was so much traffic. David kept asking to go faster! It's the last night time launch of the shuttle, as the fleet will be retired in 2010. It takes about 2 and half hours to get out there from here. He fell asleep on the way over, and when we got to the Cape (Cape Canavarel not simply "Cape"), we went to a park that sat on the water, which gave a perfect view of the whole thing. David is such a trooper. I told him we're going to go see a rocket ship go into space, and he wanted to go! He sat quietly in the back seat, or he talked to me about what we were going to see...When we finally got there, he got out of the car with me...we ended up on US 1, just west and south of the Kennedy Space Center, where there was a park (and lots of people) on the water, which gave a great view of the shuttle as it was lifting off. Of course, at the park was a play set, so we played while waiting for the shuttle to do its thing. When it was all over (about 10 minutes later), David was like, "Let's go home." And he sat quietly in the back for the two hours it took to get home...but a good portion of that was sleeping.

The astronauts will be in space for 16 days, enlarging the International Space Station, and helping to trade out crew. With this in mind, let's hope that the spirit of cooperation and of dreams had and achieved permeates us and our future.

* There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one
in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.

Paul Muad'Dib

I hope that David finds this out long after he grows up. I worry about being flawed, and human, with him. Although, I suppose it's better than being inhuman. I think really I'm worried about failure. As a person, at my job, at life...

Not a trainwreck weekend!

This has been a good weekend. I went to see my father today. It was funny, though, when I was telling David we were going to go...I said, "We're going to see my father today." And he furrows his brow, and says to me, "And when we're done seeing your father, can we go see my father?" I laughed and said that I am his father (which automatically put into my head, "Luke. I . am your father!")...too funny. So he doesn't know the word father. Well, he does now.

And he peed in the potty twice!!!! today. :-) I'm very happy about that. My head is bruised a bit, because he literally likes to butt heads with me. Ugh. But it keeps him on the pot until he's done something. I'm over the crying and the tears and the playing. He did not like naked time, he told me. He'd rather have on his diaper. Well, I said, you're not getting your diaper until you pee in the potty! Yes, it's paradoxical, I know. But it did have its intended impact.

Yesterday I came home to a house full of 4 children, and 1 adult. Jesse (the adult, 22, who watches David EVERY Saturday), and her two nephews (Shawnie and the other little boy whose name I can't remember), and another little girl that she babysits all the time (Madison). It was wonderful, though. I love the activity, and the kids, and everything. We all ate dinner together...and then went next door and I cooked dinner again (now, the first dinner was light: tiny sausages, baked beans, and corn. Enough for the kids, but not for me and Jesse) The second dinner was great! Anna said if I'm willing to cook, I can cook whatever I want! She got me some chicken out of the freezer, and I ended up getting some yellow rice and some peas. What a fine meal we had. All this while 4 children are running amuck. :-) Once David and I got home, he fell to sleep promptly.

So I saw my father. He has very strange bruise on his arm that he claims he got from falling...but I don't think so. It was a short meeting. I don't remember the last time I saw him. He didn't let me in the house because he said Carmen was sick...but I don't know. He also said he'd send me his phone number again, and we'll see. Maybe we'll even get together in a few weeks or so...sigh. We'll see...

David Weekly, #37, Election Edition

This has been a busy week. Saturday night/Sunday morning David wakes up coughing... He tells me he can't sleep, that he has to go pee, and can't. So I ask if he wants to go in the potty...and he does! Amazing! So we go sit on the potty. He was so proud of himself! And happy to get his 5 pieces of candy, which I told him he'd get in the morning. I got some cough medicine, too, which he did take like a champ. He also said he wanted to do a "web(w)eewizer"...so we turn on Charlie Brown to watch while he does this. What a good boy! He's doing all the right things to take care of himself, and letting me take care of him, too.

We did the nebulizer the next few nights after getting home from Dot's, but I gave him the full regimen of cough remedy: cough medicine, nebulizer, and vapo-rub. By Wednesday, we were done with everything. No more coughing. This was replaced by his rather sudden desire to come into my bed at 4 and 5 AM each morning. This has been okay in the past, but lately he's wanting to put his feet on me, or climb on me, or toss and turn, or make noise...no restful, peaceful sleep. And none for me, either. So we've been having some weird fights early in the morning about him either not being in my bed at all, or to lay still and sleep! Either of these rather irritated exhortations from me at way too early in the morning generate louder crying. Poor kid. I wish I knew what was causing this behavior. Ultimately, I've decided to send him back to his bed when he tries to get in mine. I need my sleep! But then he tries to stall and tells me he needs his nebulizer, or he's cold...

Monday and Tuesday I was able to get him to pee in the potty! He would volunteer that he had to go, or was about to, and we would go. And get his 5 pieces of candy. Wednesday this all stopped, and I have no idea why. Sigh. One step forward, and two steps back. We did call Amanda to tell her about how good David did the first time he did it. She was very happy, too.

Tuesday was Election Day, and I voted. I asked Dot to keep him for the almost hour it took to go, vote, and come back. Interestingly, David took the news that he'd be going to Dot's well. He's getting a lot more flexible with changes in his routine. After I picked him up from Dot's that night, he woke up, or didn't fall back asleep, since I was watching election results. By the time Obama was giving his victory speech, David had come into the living room and watched TV with me. When Obama showed up on the TV screen, David immediately knew who it was: "Barak Obama," he says. He didn't quite understand what he was witnessing, but he did sit still for a few minutes watching Obama's speech.

He surprises me from time to time. He says all kinds of things that bowl me over, and that's something I'm not good at doing: keeping track of those cute little things he says.

Wednesday afternoon we were in the back yard, and I heard him playing with language and sounds. I forget exactly what he was saying, but it was two words that began with "B" and he was saying them together just for the sound, because they didn't otherwise go together. He also likes saying "Barak O-bama." I think it's just the sound of it, and the rhythm of it, too. And he knows that Obama is the President (or will be).

Thursday was a "normal" day, school, home, Dot's...home again. He is getting used to the routine in that he's repeating it to me, over and over, actually. Just cementing it in his head.

Friday we went to the zoo after getting our hair cut. Me first, then him. He's getting better at sitting still for his hair cutting. He understands it more.

Some other details...David likes to wake me up after the sun rises, which works out to 7 AM, only because he doesn't wake up earlier. This is different than the problem I talked about above. This morning he woke me up by rubbing noses with me...I'm dead asleep and I feel this kid rubbing his nose on mine. He woke me up yesterday with "Chicka Chicka Boom BOOM!" It seems there's a book out there that A, I don't know about, B, that David seems to know quite well, and C, that he really likes. The funny thing is that you have to insert cheerleader-like motion of his arms pumping left-right for each boom he says. He got this book, and a bunch of others, from a lovely woman out in CA who sent two boxes! One had a few brand new clothing items for him, and the other had new clothes and books in it. But this one book in particular he found in the stack of books I left by his door the night that I opened the boxes (after he was asleep), and used it to wake me up. I asked him how he knew about this book before and he said that Tait read him this book. I have to wonder about the hand/arm motions, though, as this doesn't seem to be the kind of thing I see Tait doing. At random, he was telling me how his name is "TaiT" (emphasis on the final T), and not "Taip". It's also been a few months since he's been there. Maybe it was the phone call to his mom that triggered this memory, and the book, too.

So once again this nation has expressed its will in a peaceful and relatively trouble free way. Obama said that "This is our moment." And it really is. This is our moment to celebrate our nation, and our democracy, which works to some extent, in spite of its flaws. It also renews us in our hopes for the future. I watch David every day, and I think of all the things he could do or be when he grows up, as he does all the little things that a kid does. Each little thing becomes an entire career in my mind: he plays with words, or says "It's a beautiful day." This becomes writer, or weather forecaster. Separately, he figured out how to put the stool by the door to unlock it.

Fall is a time of transition, and as we watch our nation's leadership transition, I know that the challenges we all face can be met with enthusiasm, determination, and hope.

Rusty

Happiness

So David wakes me up this morning by rubbing noses with me. So incredibly cute. He woke me up yesterday with "Chicka Chicka Boom BOOM!" It seems there's a book out there that A, I don't know about, B, that David seems to know quite well, and C, that he really likes. The funny thing is that you have to insert cheerleader-like motion of his arms pumping left-right for each boom he says. He got this book, and a bunch of others, from a lovely woman out in CA who sent two boxes! One had a few brand new clothing items for him, and the other had new clothes and books in it. It also had a perfumed letter in it, just saying hello, and that she likes taking care of us. And I do feel cared about. What a wonderful thing. More importantly, it feels like the first time David's had brand new clothes since he was an infant. Amanda has always bought clothes at the thrift store, or gotten them from Freecycle...so never really anything new. And I've gotten a few hand-me-downs from my sister, too, and then Kelly sent me some stuff from her son, who is now too big for a lot of that stuff. It's nice to have NEW things for David for once. Thank you Michelle.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, David has been waking me up in the middle of the night, though really toward morning, since it's typically 4 or 5 AM when he comes into my bed, but then he makes noises, tosses and turns...and then as soon as it's dawn, not even really light out, he wants me to wake up! And of course, I'm wiped out. We've been having some fights about him staying in his own bed, but he's inventive about why not: I'm cold, he says, or he asks me to cover him up, or whatever he can think of. So I've had to yell at him to stop touching me in the bed...he puts his feet or hands on me in random spots, enough that I'm aware of his presence and so can't sleep...then he cries, waking me up more. It's been a rough week for sleep.

i don't know if i'll ever be rid of the hate
ceilteach79 9:30 AM i just know i don't let it consume me. i can't
sollust1 9:31 AM hate?
ceilteach79 9:31 AM you will always and forever be before anything else the person who took my son from me
ceilteach79 9:31 AM the marriage and divorce are so unimportant next to that
sollust1 9:32 AM yeah, we're going to have to disagree there...
sollust1 9:32 AM you left him here...completely willingly...
ceilteach79 9:33 AM because the state of florida said i must and the lawyer said I would end up throwing $40,000 at it only to lose
ceilteach79 9:34 AM if he had said $40,000 and a chance of winning, even 50/50 I would have thrown $40,000
sollust1 9:34 AM florida did not tell you to leave
sollust1 9:34 AM you went all by yourself
ceilteach79 9:35 AM We're never going to see this the same way
ceilteach79 9:35 AM I've been wanting to leave Florida for years and you know it
ceilteach79 9:35 AM and you played it, saying that you never intended to move, but just talk about it off and on to keep me mollified
sollust1 9:35 AM I know
sollust1 9:35 AM except that i do intend to move
sollust1 9:36 AM I really liked St Louis a lot
ceilteach79 9:36 AM well, there's no sense fighting over any of this
ceilteach79 9:36 AM this is the real pain in the whole thing anyway
sollust1 9:36 AM yeah
ceilteach79 9:37 AM you feel abandoned by me, and that i abandoned david, and i feel like a giant piece of me has been ripped away
sollust1 9:37 AM yeah

Something else I've noticed: David was looking at one of the books we read, and he was saying, "There's the baby, and there's the daddy..." He used to say "the mommy..."

Doing what he ought

So it's 1 AM, and I get awakened by a coughing little boy. He tells me he can't sleep, that he has to go pee, and can't. So I ask if he wants to go in the potty...and he does! Amazing! So we go sit on the potty. I'm honestly not sure if he peed, or if I did and didn't flush the toilet earlier, but I gave him credit for doing it. He was so proud of himself! And happy to get his 5 pieces of candy, which I told him he'd get in the morning. The reason I'm not sure if he peed is because I went to get a dose of cough medicine for him...which he did take like a champ. He also said he wanted to do a "web(w)eewizer"...so we turn on Charlie Brown to watch while he does this. What a good boy! He's doing all the right things to take care of himself, and letting me take care of him, too.

David Weekly, #36, Halloween Edition

Happy Halloween! For Halloween this year, David was an elephant. And his costume was a hit! Amanda made the trunk and a friend of mine did the ears. And his shirt and pants were gray. Everywhere we went to get treats, David would say, "Trick or Treat, I want candy"...No matter how many times I told him it's just "Trick or Treat," he would say his thing. So I let him, it really wasn't a big deal. People got such a kick out of the trunk and ears, and then he would always surprise them with his "elephant noise", consisting of his lips put together, and then forcefully blowing air out from between his lips. People laughed, and just thought he was great! He's a very polite child, too, saying "Thank You" each time he got candy. We had gone to maybe 10 houses and decided he was done, and wanted to go home. I convinced him to go a little longer, which we did. He didn't like being scared, though! We went to one house where the people had put on the music from the original "Halloween" movie, and this by itself was too much for David, as he was whimpering how hed didn't want to go to that house! But I told him was safe as long as he had on his costume, which he frequently did not want to put on. It was still a struggle, but he was brave. :-) At another house I told him that if HE's scary, then the things he's afraid of will be afraid of him instead. So he chased one man around his yard (who played along quite nicely), until he "got" him. And then it wasn't so bad. After we got home, we watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown." There's a scene where Lucy is bobbing for apples, and gets one...on the other end of this apple is Snoopy, and she says, "Blakch, ach, poison! Dog Germs! Blach, Ach" and then David says, matter of factly, "It's just Snoopy." I remember last year we watched this special and he got too involved in the Snoopy fights the Red Baron part to where he was crying! This year, he just watches, and says, "Snoopy -- TouchDOWN!" Basically, this is Snoopy landing his "plane."

After the show, he went down to bed pretty easily. He was yawning when we were out and about. Strange thing this year: not as many houses with lights, and not as many people out trick or treating. This is the second year that the time change is AFTER Halloween, but it doesn't seem like it. I don't remember last year's Halloween being with more light, but I suppose I wasn't so focused on that.

I realized that last week I forgot to mention that David went to a wedding, to watch Jesse, the lady who watches him on Saturdays, get married. It was not a concept he understood very well. But he enjoyed all of the activity. We had a pretty good night. He wanted to be in as many wedding pictures as he could. Or as many as they would let him in, and every time they would snap a picture, he was so excited! He would shout, "I took a picture, daddy!"

More recently, this most recent Saturday we went to a Halloween festival in Zephyrhills with my mother, sister, and her kids. David was calling it Halloween, as in, "We're going to Halloween, daddy!" And my reply was, "No, Halloween is a holiday." And he says, "It's a Halloween, not a holiday!" Okay, so it's a Halloween. He's a funny kid, even if he doesn't mean to be. Sunday I was more diligent in potty training David, by going to the potty every so often, and having him without his diaper/pullup on...but this child is very resistant to this process! I joined a Meetup.com single parents group, and went to the Aquarium as there was an event there...and met up with other single parents and their kids. It was very crowded, so it was hard to get to know anyone, but a few of us went to dinner afterwards, and that was nice. It was good for David and for me, because he got to play with the other kids a bit, and I got to be a bit of a grownup. We will attend more of these events, and I've been assured that they are fun, and safe.

A few tidbits: I asked David the other day if he was cold, on our way to Dot's, and he said "No, I'm windy." Very funny child. He now says, "Oh my god!" But I don't know where he got it from. Today he said, "You're funny, daddy," with a big smile on his face. He counted his fingers on both hands: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 fingers on one hand, and 1, 2, on the other. He's also able to really express emotion: "I'm so happy!" or "I'm sad." In the second case, it's because I wasn't driving faster. He's able to express what he thinks makes me happy or sad, too. And he's able to explain why when I ask him why: because I want to, or because there's a cat out there, or a noise I heard...David has lately been coming into my bed in the middle of the night, and rolling on me, laying on top of me...and this has not been a good thing. So I'm telling him either to go back to his bed and sleep, or at least lay on the other side of the bed and be still. I don't know what's going on with him lately, to cause this...It's definitely having a bad impact on my sleep...we played a live version of Blues Clues, because in the back yard he finds a maple leaf (several now, actually), and from there we start trying to find the tree that it goes with, and not much success. But the process of finding a matching leaf has been fun. And he calls it a clue leaf. :-)

So here's hoping that you find whatever it is you're looking for.

Rusty

Kidism

"David, are you cold?" "No, I'm windy."

Counting his fingers

David counted his fingers this morning. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 fingers on one hand, and 1, 2, on the other...sigh. He's a bit more aware...And he's turned into a parrot...repeating everything I'm saying...and he's expressive! He told me he's sad that we can't go fast in our neighborhood. He also will lay in bed with me, and he'll say, "I lwove you, daddy."Or, "I'm so happy!"

Today has been cold, in the 40's...and we went shopping today. I hate hate hate clothes shopping especially for him, but we got a few things, 3 sets of jammies, and a shirt, and something else...I remember it was 5 things...

And two quick hits: I asked him what he's doing, and he says, "Pooping" and I'm like, "Right now?" And he says, "yeah"...so we went to the potty, and he pooped in the potty! And then promptly reminded me that he gets 5 candies! I laughed at that and gave him his 5 candies. Woohoo!

The other thing is that we played a live version of Blues Clues today, because in the back yard he finds a maple leaf (several now, actually), and from there we start trying to find the tree that it goes with , and not much success. But the process of finding a matching leaf has been fun. And he calls it a clue leaf. :-)

David Weekly, #35

David is sick today, Friday...He woke me up at 5 AM, crying. Poor kid. I gave him some cough medicine, and we went outside to watch the rain. It made him feel better. But he wouldn't stop coughing so we went inside to give him another nebulizer treatement. He was mad when I told him to go back to sleep after that, though, because he didn't want to! And he knew that it was night-night time because it was stil dark outside. Eventually, I set him up with Finding Nemo, and he fell asleep on the floor in a few minutes. This is the second time this week that he's done that. This time it's simply because of the hour, and that he's sick. We've done the nebulizer for two days now, and he's getting better about taking it again. I say that because has good days and bad ones for taking it. Partially it's because he doesn't do it that often. Earlier this week he fell asleep in front of the TV just watching one of his shows. He never does that. I should have seen the sickness coming. Maybe it's a week's delay from the flu shot? I'm not totally sure.

As I review the week in my mind, I think about all the things that David is, and does. His speech is more and more clear, every day. We went to the park the other day, and a bigger kid ran into him...this is the park next to the elementary school...(it was an accident, too) and he said how it hurt. So I told him he should stay away from the bigger kids, because there more of them, and they aren't so careful of littler kids like him. So he learned his lesson and stayed away from them. We still had lots of fun, and played for a while.

Also, the Tampa Bay Rays are in the World Series! One night after bringing him home I wanted to watch the tail end of the first game, and he saw that the TV was on, which is not our usual routine when we get home, so he asked if he could watch the game with me. So I said sure. And we watched about two innings or so of the game, just him and me, two guys on the couch watching the game together. It was a wonderful thing. Of course, him being so young, he didn't really sit there for two innings, but kind of came and went. He was really excited to see the guys hitting the ball with the bat, or just swinging it!

And lately, David's entered another stage: Collecting things! Like rocks, or sticks, or acorns. He just carries them in his hands, puts them in the house, or in the car, anywhere convenient...

So this is a short weekly, but that just means things are well, and that he's just being the little boy that he's supposed to be.

Rusty

David Weekly, #34

This has been quite an active week!

Saturday night after work, David and I went to the park, and walked along the boardwalk that follows the shore of a lake. Because David introduces randomness to my world, we met up with some people who were also walking along the boardwalk. One of the adults mentioned to me about remembering being that small where you can just weave in and out and under people who are in your way, which is what David was doing...so we struck up a conversation. When we got to the end of the boardwalk, the father (whose name is David) was telling me how there was a trail that we could follow along...since I'd never been, I asked if they minded if I tag along, and they were open to it, so off we went! It turned out to be a 45 minute walk, with me holding David most of the way. It was really wonderful, though. He enjoyed being around the other kids (7 in all, plus one other adult, and then him and me for a total of 9 people all together), and the walk was refreshing. After we got back from the walk, I introduced myself to the father's wife (oddly, I never told any of the people I was with my name...it never came up), and she said that her father-in-law's name is Russell...so by this odd coincidence, I meet a man named David, whose father is named Russell. What are the odds??

Sunday, we went to a soccer game...I'm considering joining the league, and I wanted to check it out...David of course has no interest at all in this activity...so we end up at the playground instead. It was still a good Sunday.

Monday was a doctor appointment with Dr. Sams, and he still weighs 35 pounds, and is 39 inches tall. The purpose of this appointment is to get his flu shot. We talked a bit about his eczema, since he had several different places on his body that looked like ringworm...but she told me to use the prescription hydrocortisone cream that we have, just to see if it would respond or not...and it did. The little patches went away rather quickly. Then he got his flu shot. I told him that it would hurt for just a minute then be done...so when the nurse came to give him a shot, he was a little bit afraid, and he knew it would hurt, but not over the top scared or acting too upset. He got the shot in his leg, and it hurt...later on as we were checking out he saw the nurse again and said to her, "You hurt me!" She said she was sorry, and offered him a sticker. He then demanded a sticker, but I told him to ask nicely: "May I have a sticker, please." The doctor said his speech is perfect. I asked her about potty training and she said that her own son didn't do it unitl he was three and a half, so I'm not feeling so bad. Other parents I've talked to say that boys are harder than girls, and they just have to want to do it. David does not. Dot says he goes for her, but somehow I just don't know if I believe her.

He asks why all the time now. At one point on our walk he was asking why for everything, and I was throwing out all the big words I could think of, just to expose him to them, but he accepted as an answer to why as, "Because it's academic." I really got a kick out of that...how it made him stop asking why, and he says, "Oh." Too funny.

Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday were school days...he eats all of his lunch there at the school. Thursday, though, he at all the lunch there and then was begging me for more food when he got home! Wednesday we had a strange night after I got off work. First, he wakes up at Dot's and comes running to me (which he always does if he wakes up), but then he wouldn't go back to sleep! I usually stay up until about 1 AM or so, and he stay up with me. I tried everything I could think of to get him to go to bed, and go to sleep, but that just didn't happen! So, to help him get into a bed time rhythm, he asks me to help him clean up his room...so I'm reluctant at first, but then I agree to help...and a fairly large spider comes running across the wall! So naturally I have to kill it -- can't have a spider running around my kid's bedroom, even though it's harmless -- the cool thing is that David didn't freak out. He was very upset when I wouldn't let him hold the flashlight, though. I needed it to find the spider! However, he was a big help, since he was looking for the spider, too, and saw it before I did...he's short and small so he can see where I can't...so I got the RAID and sprayed the poor thing until it died. I told David I don't like killing spiders, but in this case, because of how fast it moved, and how big it was, I had to. At this point, David was yawning, so I put him in my bed, and he went to sleep...at about 1:30 AM...it was a long night. Then he woke me up early Thursday morning...at 7:30 or so. He's not liking how he wakes up at the same time in the mornings now, but it's still dark outside. I'm telling him not to get up until it's light outside, and that's no fun for him.

Friday was our visit to the Shriners. The appoint was 2:30, and we were there early...They took xrays of his hand, which I've attached below...he was afraid of the machine until we told him it was a camera, then it was all okay. The pictures are from my cell phone from a computer monitor. Not sure how to get the originals, but at least you have an idea...the doctor that looked at his hand was very impressed with his mobility and utility, and really said that there was no issue with it...we have another appointment for 2 years from now. Most of the questions I have aren't age appropriate, such as tying his shoes, or some social aspects, but the doctor was also liking how comfortable David is with his hand...when the doctor was leaving, he shook my hand (Dr. Hess, by the way), and David insisted that the doctor shake his hand, too. "Shakes hand!" he said. Everyone liked how not shy he is. Very expressive, very full of energy, curiosity, and willing to talk to anyone. He was talking the other kids in the waiting areas, too...he doesn't ask names, he just says, "Girl" or "Boy" when addressing them. I tell him to ask their names, and to say his...which he does. He just forgets.

So this has been a busy week. Tomorrow we go to Jesse's wedding, the girl (now 22 years old) who babysits on Saturdays is getting married...of course, David asks why...I again, get a kick out of this. So in consideration of this wedding, I hope that your life is full of bright hopes, and lots of promise.

Rusty

Insomnia! and Spiders!

So last night was fun. I go to pick up David like normal, and he's wide awake! I get him home, like normal, put him in bed like normal...and he does not go to sleep like normal. Instead, he keeps getting out of bed, wanting to hang out with me, and this goes on for over an hour...but then, as part of him going to bed he wants to clean up his room. Talk about a delay tactic! So we're in there, cleaning up, putting things away, and a spider pops out of nowhere! And runs across the wall, really fast! I think it was a wolf spider, and it was big! So I get the bug spray, and a flashlight, because it ran behind a shelf...David was really great about the whole thing. He helped me look for the spider, but was unhappy when I wouldn't give him the flashlight, since he didn't understand how serious it was to kill the spider. I told him that I don't want to kill the spider, but in this case I had no choice. It moves too quickly for me to catch it for one thing...so I spray it, it runs, and I can't find it, but David saw it, and pointed it out, and I sprayed it again. The cool part is he didn't freak out, and he was not afraid. Of course, I acted pretty calm and cool myself, so hopefully it was him being cool all by himself, and taking some example from me.

He would not sleep in his bed, and would not sleep in my bed, and he just wanted to play! After the spider episode, he went to sleep in my room, that at some point he went back in his bed...he likes to switch back and forth once in a while. He's not overly fond of my bed, but it's nice for him to be there sometimes...though it's easier for me when he doesn't sleep in my bed.

I asked him to kiss me, you know, put your lips on my cheek, and *smack*...and he did it! Yay!!! But then he decided to kiss me on my lips. Ick. So I tell him only the cheek. I kiss him on his head, or his forehead, and he says, "NO! You're not supposed to..." He's so funny. He really makes me laugh. I can't imagine missing all of this. I'm so glad I have him here with me.

And he's reaching that point of "Why?" for everything. I ask him why and he says because...but if he asks me why, no explanation is good enough...though one time I told him, "It's academic." And that was acceptable. I was using all the $5 words I could come up with to answer his Why questions. Philosophical, tyranical...anything I could come up with...feed him vocabulary...lots of new words. He'll hear them, but so what if he has no idea of their meaning. The other thing he does is if he wants something, and I say why, he says "Because I want it"...sigh. What a great kid.

Reminiscence

About 4 years ago, or so, David was conceived in the basement of his grand-parents' house. Too bad the sex wasn't that good, and too bad we didn't have a lot of pregnant sex, either. Amanda was spotting, and we freaked that she wouldn't be able to keep this baby...9 months later, or so, David was born to the world. I guess it's the time of year. The world series is soon...the reason I'm thinking about this I suppose. Middle October, baseball's "high season" as it were. The playoffs, divisional series...all that. St Louis won the year I was in St Louis, making a baby, in the basement. And not having any fun doing it. And the weather changing...It was a beautiful time we had up there. Just not the sex part. Every year around this time, I'll look at David, a few months after his birthday, and remember a trip to St Louis, to see Amanda's parents...and all the details that go with it.

Dr. Appt

Dr. Sams says it's okay that David hasn't potty trained yet. He'll do it when he's ready. Amanda says it's "my fault" that I insisted on him potty training, but she means that I chose the hard course, not the fun course, because I'm the custodial parent.

sollust1: so the doc thinks it's eczema, not ringworm

sollust1: and he had a flu shot today

ceilteach79: then why is the ringworm medicine making it better when regular lotion did not?

sollust1: sigh...she said try the hydrocortisone first

ceilteach79: ok

sollust1: she said it's "tubular" eczema

sollust1: eczema in circular form

sollust1: maybe not that word

sollust1: I'll have to look it up

ceilteach79: ok

ceilteach79: well, as long as it can get cleared up

ceilteach79: it definitely itches him

sollust1: exactly. His ear is a lot better

ceilteach79: good

ceilteach79: brb again

sollust1: and his urine is good they said

sollust1: ok

ceilteach79: ok, so you got some?

sollust1: yeah...at almost the last minute, too!

ceilteach79: from him wearing the thing or sitting on the potty?

sollust1: wearing the thing

ceilteach79: cool

sollust1: Dr. Sams says her son didn't potty train until 3 years and 5 months

sollust1: almost where David is right now

ceilteach79: yeah, no there's no rush

ceilteach79: but he has to get comfy with it first, and he's not. and with everyone doing something different, it's not going to get better

ceilteach79: the things i'm talking about are so he can potty train in the next 6mos to year

sollust1: it feels more urgent than that...no pun intended

sollust1: sigh...this is hard

ceilteach79: yeah, that's what you insisted on

sollust1: did I?

ceilteach79: yeah by insisting on being the custodial parent

ceilteach79: that's the part. the non-custodial gets to be the fun one

sollust1: Oh I don't care about that

sollust1: you have all the fun you want

ceilteach79: i know, but you want to have fun and not do the hard things

sollust1: what's important is that he's loved and well raised.

sollust1: You're right. But it's what I chose.

sollust1: I'm willing to do the hard stuff. And I'm getting better at it

sollust1: David told the nurse who gave him a shot, "You hurt me"

sollust1: it was cute. She said she was sorry.

ceilteach79: what did he say after she said she was sorry?

sollust1: he was done...he didn't really say anything. She told him to get a sticker, so he went and demanded one

ceilteach79: did you make him ask nicely?

sollust1: yes!

sollust1: they thought it was great that he could change his tone like that

Hike

So I'm at the park w/ David yesterday after work...He can make friends with other kids now, sortof...really he can just interact with them...when he's going up the ladder for the slide he asks if the other kids are coming with him...at some point we decide to go on the boardwalk, and it just so happens that a small group of people (it turns out to be 7 kids, and two adults...who seem to be part of a larger group)...so we're walking along the boardwalk, and David, being a little kid, squeezes himself through the two adults walking, and the two adults and I start talking a little bit about the boy, and when we ourselves were small. We get to the end of the boardwalk and the dad says that there's a trail...and I've never heard of this trail, so I'm wanting to go along with them on the trail...and I've ingratiated myself to them enough that I ask if I can go w/ them, and they say sure...so we go on this trail...and it turns into a 45 minute walk! It was really interesting, though! The trail was nice. The people were nice. And they didn't think I was a weirdo! Of course, I had David. That helped. Actually, without David, I wouldn't have been anywhere close to that park...The kids pretty much accepted me, and David and I brought up the rear of the group. A couple of the younger kids said they were scared, lost, etc...and we three adults helped calm them down, as we say, "We're not lost..." and I talked about being Boy Scout and such. That helped. I tried to say things that would be seen as helpful, useful, and make me seem "safe". It would be strange if I was part of a group and some strange guy just showed up the way I did. I felt extremely accepted by them, though. We had a blast on this little hike. And after we got back to the park, some of the other members of the group began talking to me, too...I never did ask how they all knew each other, or try to get to know them more. Hmmm...gotta work on that. This was a chance to make real friends. The last thing is that I find out the dad's name is David, and that his father's name is Russell. Wow. They were all impressed by that. I had no idea...I just introduced myself to David's wife, and she says, "Oh, that's my father in law's name." Wow. It was a great day out at the park. I don't have to keep so close a watch on David anymore...he's much more self sufficient.

And still I dream...

I don't know why I'm dreaming about Cinnamon and her husband, and children, but I am...in my dream I live in some kind of condo w/ a stone wall like at a pool, and on the other side of this wall is a pool that starts very shallow and gets very deep, but in the pool is some kind of marine life that people can interact with in some way, though most people just walk through the water and splash around a bit, on their way somewhere else. So I see Cinnamon and company going through from my house, but I don't say hi. Not sure what that would accomplish in doing that. Another thing is that this turns into some kind of loop, where I see them more than once. But they're on vacation, having fun...I think at some point Marty recognizes me, asks Cinnamon about me, but she isn't really hearing his questions. I lose track of them at some point, and I follow them I think into a restaurant lobby/hotel lobby dining room ish area, lots of chairs and tables and space but not a lot of people at that moment...again, not sure why I need to be there, except that maybe I'm chasing David...

David Weekly, #33

So this week has been a half week for David, from my perspective. He got home from Amanda's on Monday night, at about 11:30 or so. Tuesday I had to work from 9 - 5, so it was hard taking him to Dot's so early in the morning on his first day back...he really cried and cried...but he was better when I got back at 5:15 or so from work. We took our usual long way home walk when I pick him up on afternoons when I work during the day. These are rare, so it's a special treat for us to walk back home the long way...and along the way we saw a ring-neck snake...but it was tiny! It was in the road, and I began by chasing it off the road, so it wouldn't get run over. David thought this was cool, and did some chasing of his own. Eventually the snake disappeared into the grass, but David wasn't done: he wanted to be the snake, so he got on the ground and wriggled like a snake. That kid can be entertaining!

While he was in Missouri he got some mini-pumpkins with some faces drawn on them (I think Tait did the drawing) and so he's assigned different voices to them. One says "Boo!" Another says, "howhowhowhow," and the last one says, "hahahahah." I just love that he's assigned the different voices to them.

On Wednesday, we went to some kind of resort with my sister and my mother, and played in the water there for a while. David made a sand castle at the park that's in the same general area as the lagoon...David played with his cousins, Avery and Jared...and had a grand old time. He tells me about TV shows now...We stayed until Friday night...

Not a whole lot to report. David is turning into a normal kid...who likes to dance. Today we were at the pool, and they play music...and he was so happy to dance! I've really got to do something for this child as it relates to dance. He was so happy to dance.

He has a Shriners appointment on Friday, and a regular doctor appt on Monday. We'll let you know how it goes.

Rusty


PS I was really tired when I wrote this. I'm sure more happened than I said...

David's Home

A recurring theme here...Matt and Virginia brought him all the way here for Missouri, two days early. I'm not really complaining. ;-)

Today I had to take him to Dot's early (at about 8:30 AM), since I had to work from 9 - 5 today for training. He did not take that well at all. Poor kid. When I picked him up, it was all better. He was telling me he's Sponge Bob again. Amanda made a knitted little elephant trunk for him, and I guess I'm supposed to do the rest for his Halloween costume...mask, make up (??), grey clothes...he wants to be an elephant. He has 3 mini-pumpkins that have little faces painted on them that say different things: boo, or ohohohooooohohooooo or I'm not sure what else. But each is distinct.

Today when I picked him up we went for our normal around the block walk (when I pick him up during the day, we usually do this)...along the way we saw a tiny ring-neck snake. I chased it out of the road so it wouldn't get run over or stepped on...and of course, David wanted to act like the snake, so he gets on the ground and wriggles like the snake. And he's a chatterbox, too...he did not stop talking the whole time! It's always strange for me to see him after a brief period of him being away, because I see how much he's changed in just this little bit. He's not the boy that left two weeks ago...he did something else cute, and it was only a little while ago, yet I can't remember!

Unbalanced

With David being gone, I'm unbalanced, socially. I've been talking to Amanda about being introverted/extroverted, and again, I'm an introvert. It takes energy to be with people, and you keep what's most important to you hidden away. It's easy to make excuses about why I'm not out doing things before/after work, because I have David. He gets me out of the house, because I won't leave it otherwise. At least, not when he's gone for short periods like two weeks. I think if the custody thing were reversed, I'd go out more, do more things...have people around. I might go back to Baton Rouge, so I could hang out at Coffee Call again. Talk to people...no where good to do that around here, that I feel comfortable. I've been talking to a guy here at work who plays soccer recreationally, so maybe I'll do that on Sundays, which are my train wreck days anyway. Social, excercise...and something to do. Just for me.

Listening to a show on memory...a guy who can't remember from one moment to the next. Each new moment is brand new to the point that each moment is new...as if he's never had one before. It makes me think about learning how I feel about experiences. Like with Tania. The last time I remember feeling that way was with Meredith, but I didn't feel that way for very long. I've so often spoken in hyperbole, everything is so wonderful, so full, so "-est"...I remember ... they say that memory is always a recreation, but they didn't say how that recreation occurs. Maybe they don't know. But it's being recreated from something. I remember...I don't have any recreations that are like Tania. And I wonder about my depth of feeling. More intense feelings result in memories lasting longer. I don't remember my lunch last week, because it's not very intense. I remember my first kiss with Cinnamon because of how it left me feeling afterward. I wonder how I'll remember Tania in the future. The most intense feeling of being with her was in my bed, laying next to her, feeling the softness of her body...but it was the softness in her heart that affected me more....I guess I remember that because I never felt that before, from anyone. I wonder if I ever will again..and then I wonder about all the feelings I've felt before and that I've not felt since...and do I miss them, do I even know about them, have I forgotten them...I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget. But where are those writings...where are those writings...

Ringworm

Amanda tells me that David has ringworm. In his ear, and another case on his arm. I saw those splotches, but assumed eczema. Sigh. No one else said anything to me about them. She can be a good mom...just in short bursts.

A Great Quote

"No matter how many how many ways old people find to warn young people not to squander ephemeral gifts, we all find ways, young and old, to squander our ephemeral gifts -- love, babies, and real estate included. In warning others, at least for a moment we have those precious things back."

David Weekly, #32

This is why you have to pay attention to your kids every minute: at first, he was being cute and calling me "Old man." I have not the slightest idea where this came from, or why it started happening today. But he calls me "old man", and I think it's cute. In the middle of all of this, he picks up the scissors, and I'm in the middle of cooking...a minute or two later he comes back and tells me he cut the sheets on my bed. So I go check this claim out, and sure enough, he did. I now have a hole in my sheets. Lovely. I tell him this makes me very sad. And I asked him why I'm sad, and he says, "because I cut a hole in your sheets," very matter of factly...but I told him again how upset I am over this, and he got it. He went to his room, obviously feeling guilty. He didn't put that together with "I'm sorry," so we'll have to work on that. The best part is that I didn't yell or scream, but I did say emphatically how I felt about it, and it did have an impact.

Comparison...David is now saying that something is "best" "prettiest" "loudest" or whatever... but it's always something "est"...he's learning how to attach affixes to words: like, "est" or "un"..."un" is funnier, because of the way you can attach it to words in unexpected ways. Like at the zoo, he decided to go play in the fountains, which we never do, and got all wet. I told him that we can't go see the animals because he was all wet and because we ran out of time. So he asked how he could get unwet. What a great kid! It was also funny when we went to see the penguins how he sees the water and calls it "Lovely (wovewy) wa-er" ... (he doesn't say the T's in the middle of words)... this is a phrase from the Splash! book that we read a lot. In fact, that Splash! book is his favorite. Another thing is that he says "Ta-a!" instead of Ta-Da! when unveiling something with his blanket, or showing me something that I haven't seen before.

Did I mention that he loves Blues Clues? Yeah, he does. He loves the episodes of the Mystery Builder, and "Missed her friend" -- the second one he's aware of the character (a cat, Periwinkle) missing her friends, because she lives in the country instead of the city and is missing her friends. The way David says it, though, it's close to "Mystery" and it was a mystery what he was saying for a while...he would say "Missed her friend" and I would hear "Myster(y) friend" and not completely make sense out of it. Then it clicked one day...Epiphany!

David went with Matt and Virginia Thursday for his trip to Missouri to see Amanda. Very Easily. Happily. No Problems at all. Matt was pretty happy about that. David was happy to see them. Matt likes that David's pretty clear in his speech. That'll make their interaction easier. They played for a few minutes before leaving, and they're going to have fun. David was going to go swimming at their house...I'm sure he fell asleep on the ride there...He always asks me to give him a hug, and a kiss, and a squeeze whenever it's time to say goodbye. I'm afraid of the squeeze part, because I don't want to hurt him, but he always wants more squeeze!

He's been looking forward to this trip for a week or so, ever since I told him that he's going to go up there. It's interesting because he hasn't displayed a lot of emotion about it. It's been pretty matter of fact. Except when we got closer to him leaving that he wanted to see pictures of his mom...and I'm realizing that these photos I have are now a year old...it's been a year since the divorce process began, and it was around this time that we stopped taking pictures. So if you have pictures that are more recent, please email me or send copies in the mail, for David's benefit. And when you're with him, please take lots of pictures. I take pictures of him at least every week or two, because he sees the camera and takes pictures of the TV shows he's watching, or of the world around him. It's interesting to see his point of view in picture form. (It reminds me of the Rug Rats) I also end up taking a picture or two of him during all of this, and he usually fills up the camera. He takes pictures of me, too, but gets random body parts, like my knee, or my left shoulder. He's just not big enough to properly hold the camera...but until he is, it will continue to be interesting how he holds the camera and what it reflects in his ability to point it and get what he wants, or what's there...

Sometimes I'll tell David he can't do something, and he'll say "WHHHWYYY????" in his best whiney voice. Sometimes it's when he's crying. I'm getting more immune to his crying and delay tactics. I'll warn him that it's time to go, or do something or whatever, and sometimes he delays by not doing anything, or telling me to wait until (the TV show or whatever) is over, or he's done with something. But I'm reaching the point where I can no longer allow that to happen...so we do things when I say, and his ability to get me not to do something is fading. Hopefully this will teach him that we have things we must do no matter what he feels. I know I feel like he does...so this is maybe another benefit of having kids: you get to live vicariously through them: they express all the feelings you can't, and act the way you know you want to, but can't.

David is funny because I ask him why he's doing something, or wants something, and he says, "because I want to." He basically answers the question of why with no answer, other than he wants to. He's not getting the motivation part of the question. I guess if he were an actor he'd be fired. :-)

When I give David a juicebox, he always wants me to take the plastic off the box that the straw was in...not sure why he cares so much, except that it's his sense of order coming into play again...

Lastly, I'm back to potty training. He's more willing lately. I'm finally being more serious about it, too. I made this decision when he would wake up soaked through his diaper to his jammies. I realized that there's a connection there that he hasn't made. On the other hand, he's still unwilling. He'll just sit on the potty, and not do anything. And sit and sit...sigh. But at least now he sits. And I'm doing it in the morning when we first wake up (which is sometimes at 6:30 -- early for me, since I'm usually in bed by 1 AM)...Yeah, he likes to wake me up by climbing on the bed and rolling over me a couple of times. Some days I'm able to take a nap when he goes to his preschool...anyway, I'm making efforts to be consistent, and positive about this whole thing. I get frustrated when he doesn't cooperate, too, but I try not to let it show.

So this week, the temperature got below 70 degrees for the first time since May...the days are beautiful, and David's wanting to play outside more now. I hope you make time for play, whatever the weather is outside.

Rusty