Trainwreck

I don't know why my mother has such an urge to buy something RIGHT NOW! I mistakenly, foolishly, told her I have plans for the empty room in my house, to make it a nice place for visitors...and now she wants to go shopping, and buy stuff. The first time we go out to start looking for stuff, she's telling me to bring my checkbook, so I can buy something if I should need to. I don't know why she wants me to impulse buy a $400 piece of furniture, since I had said I wanted a day bed for that room. Ugh. Talk about frustration. I yelled at her to cut it out. I'm not going to buy something just because it's there. I have better things to do w/ my money. I could go on Craig's list, or free cycle...We went shopping again yesterday, and I ended up buying a futon. Very unsatisfying. But it's now there, in my house, in that room.

Did I mention how tired I was? I haven't been sleeping well lately, because David keeps coming into my bed in the middle of the night, and I just can't sleep with him there. Saturday night I even went to bed at 11 PM, and...he wakes me up at the crack of dawn, and won't leave me alone to sleep a little bit longer like he normally does. I was extremely frustrated w/ him over this, since I asked, begged, demanded for him to leave me be for a little while longer, and he just wouldn't. So I got up. I was having a terrible day, and then my mom wants to go shopping for furniture. And she's almost insistent that I buy something TODAY. She saw some end tables for $34 and she's like, "They're cheap!" I so don't care. Why am I here?

After the shopping fiasco is over. I make dinner, feed the boy, put him to bed...and he wakes up a couple of hours later. Seems that he was having a nightmare. Something about a box getting rained on that David was standing on top of...but he was very unhappy, crying and crying. But what made it worse was that he had a cough, and his breathing was shallow...and his heart was racing. We talked about his nightmare for a while, and I held him, telling him it was just a dream. Then I gave him some cough medicine, and tried to put him back to bed, but that wasn't happening. I decided to do the nebulizer thing, which helped a lot. This is all around midnight or so. About 5 AM he wakes up again, not able to breath...so this time I gave him some chest rub, which helped him sleep. We both slept until at least 10 AM this morning! I finally had enough sleep, thankfully. Another thing about the 5 AM deal is that he asked me to go potty all by himself, not something I thought of on my own at that point, and he went! Woohoo! We did the nebulizer again in the morning...he was unwilling to eat, even though he asked for cereal. He just wanted to drink his milk. And he was whiney and clingy...poor kid. Coughing up a storm. I took him to Dot's, still coughing, but not that bad.

Also had a long talk w/ Amanda...she's conflicted big time. She admitted how much she missed David, and how she consoles herself for him being gone. We talked about a lot of stuff.