Friday, January 30, 2009

David Weekly, #46

David has a cold. Runny nose, cough, unhappy in a number of different ways. He says his nose is blinking, and that his blanket doesn't work, because he can't smell it. "It's not working, daddy!" Lots of tears, too, which only makes his nose stuff up, and then me having to wipe his nose...when he wipes his own nose, he does it across his face, from his nose to his cheek, so now his cheeks are chapped, bright red, and putting lotion on it just makes it hurt more. Poor kid. I've been working with him not to do that, but it's hard...At one point, when the cold was at its worst, he was saying "yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck" over and over. He was mostly over it by Monday, though, so it was just a rough weekend. His nose still runs a little bit, "blinking," and I am wiping a lot with the tissue. Or Kleenex. I've told him that some things have two words associated with them, so he now calls it a tissue-kleenex, rather than one name or the other. The reason for this is that he would get mad at me for calling it a tissue, and he'd yell at me: "Kweenex!" And he is getting better at the "L" sound, but it's not all there yet. I forget now what he was saying the right way with the L, but it was there.

We did spend part of the day at my sister's house on Sunday though, which was nice. He played well with Jared and Avery, who are working on science fair type projects. I would tell him to be quiet so Avery could do her research, and he'd whisper very loudly, which was pretty funny, because it really wasn't quiet.

And he's becoming a bit defiant. I know it's good for him, in terms of separation, but the child needs to learn when to quit, which he will, because more time-outs are happening to him lately. He sometimes tells me "shhh!" when I say something he doesn't want to hear. When he does, I send him to time out! He also tries to put his hand on my mouth to get me to stop talking, which is funny sometimes because I'm not saying anything "important", but other times it's a real annoyance. He's also getting more physically aggressive, too. That will be tempered, too, with more time outs...

David has gained the ability to report narrative. Yesterday morning, he was saying, rather at random, that you have to drive really slowly when there's ice on the road, and turn very slowly, too. Complete w/ pantomime of him holding the steering wheel and turning it. He's actually doing that a lot, just telling me a complete (but still short) story, at random. I don't know what triggers these little stories in his brain, but I'm getting treated to some of the things that happened with him when he was in Missouri, because he does talk about that a lot. I don't even ask him anything. Just something goes off in his brain, and there's another little story.

He knows the story of "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" by heart. As in, each word in the story in its correct sequence, all the way through. If I mis-read something, he corrects me, and it's right, of course.

This week has been extremely routine for some reason. He's getting to where we have complete conversations. He reports to me things he sees on TV, or little things he does when we play. He likes to watch the Word World DVD's that we've got, over and over. But I'm glad he does that because he's learning how to spell and say words that way. He tells me P-I-E for pie, and how the word turns back into letters when something happens. He's learning words because of the books that we read, too.

Friday we went to the zoo, and he had me running almost through the entire park! And then later we went to the "green park" which is the park by the water with the green playground equipment. He loves going down that slide! He also has me talking into the slide like a sports announcer, which I do in French and English, and he won't let me stop...What I'm saying is usually just play-by-play. "He's going up the step, sitting down, and sliding! down!!" He just thinks that's "AWESOME!" which he says with regularity. Awesome!

So it's been a good week. I hope you've had a good week, too.

Rusty

Saturday, January 24, 2009

David Weekly, #45

David's first word that he can read with consistency is "zoo." Whenever he sees it, he says, "z - o - o, that says zoo." I noticed this when he saw the word on a little lego man that he has. He brought it to me to tell me what he saw. Then again, when he sees STOP signs, he spells it and then tells me what it means. So it's a tie.

We went to the zoo on Monday, Martin Luther King Day. Nothing special there, really, though I let him get a plastic mold of the Florida Panther, which turned out to be the color of gum. David asked if he could eat the candy, and I said it's not candy, but a toy. He then asked if he could eat it after it turns into food...

David spilled some cereal, but left one piece on the floor, saying that the floor is still hungry. I didn't know the floor got hungry! But it does, it would seem.

When David doesn't want to do something, he says, Huh! It's really funny. His language has changed, something I remember reading about in Child Psychology when I was in college...everything in the past tense now has -ed, including words in the past test that don't merit the -ed ending, like "won" turns into "woned"

Tuesday was Inauguration Day. When I told David that we are going to watch Barak Obama on TV, David got all excited! "When someone says, 'Who's the president?' 'Barak Obama!'" This is a conversation David had with himself over and over. He kept looking at the TV and say, "Where's Barak Obama?" and then "Oh! There he is!" or "He's wearing a red tie!" I took a picture of David next to the TV w/ Obama taking the oath. David didn't understand the sense of occasion, of course, being only 3. He was running around a lot more than he usually does, so he must have felt the energy, and emotion of the moment.

Tuesday night, David had a bad, very painful cough. It took him about two hours of crying in lots of pain to finally settle down and go to sleep. He "throwed up" a couple of times, but it was all mucus. Every time he'd cough, he would cry all over again about how "it hurt me!" He was very confused about whether he should take cough medicine or not, because lately he doesn't like it, but he eventually decided to have some, and I gave him some ibuprofen as well. He also insisted on the "nebeewizer" because it makes him feel better. I couldn't find it, though! Then he told me it was in the closet, because he put it there as part of cleaning up. (I'm guessing Jesse had something to do with that! :-) And after all of this, he wanted the chest rub, too. He was having me do everything I've even done to make him feel better. Poor kid. But still smart in spite of his pain. It was a hard time getting to sleep after we got home from Dot's. But in the morning on Wednesday, he was perfectly fine. He was his normal, full of energy, self.

Wednesday, he tried to tell me the joke that heard on Word World. The joke is: How do ducks learn how to fly? A: They just wing it! I have some memory of Colleen trying to tell knock knock jokes, especially the banana, banana, banana, orange knock knock joke, which she eventually just shortened to banana, and then would laugh. She was maybe 4 and a half closer to 5 at the time. He also is telling me that his car is out of control because it ran out of gas.

Another thing about the Word World DVD: he looked on the DVD cover to see what's coming next, and he actually reads the "words" -- "Sh- Sh- Shark!" is the title of the episode, and he repeats it. I think he's reading the word rather than just looking at the picture, because he's saying the "Sh- Sh-" part, rather than just saying, "The shark one" or something like that.

Wednesday night/Thursday morning the low temperature got down to 25 degrees! Even though there was some frost, it wasn't noticeable to David, and the temperature rose so quickly during the morning that it didn't seem to be that cold.

We were playing with David's letters, and making words. Sometimes he resists making words, though other times he's willing to make different words. During all of the making of words with the letters, he sometimes puts collections of letters that, to our minds, don't go together, and assigns that "word" a meaning. So a "random" collection of letters become "shoe" or whatever he's trying to say. Also the letters don't have to have any kind of special orientation, either.

I've mentioned before how David's polite. Lately, I'm getting him to ask for things by saying "May I have" instead of "I want". So now every time he says "May I have" by himself without being prompted, he says, "I said it right!" And is all proud of himself. What a wonderful little boy he is. Sometimes if he hurts himself in a small way, he'll say, "That hurt me." I'll respond, "I'm sorry." Then he says, "You didn't do it, daddy."

Finally, this week's edition is late because his cough came back with a vengeance, and I had to really hold him and take care of him on Friday night. I put on the vaporizer to add some moisture to the room, since it's been so dry. David slept fitfully, waking up every so often because of his coughing. It was post-nasal drip that he was dealing with, so I did my best to keep him sleeping on his side, because when he would turn on his back it would start the coughing again. And he says that his nose is blinking.

While our new President offers hope for things to come, and looks at the big picture, the fact that David was running around the house and playing through this historic moment of Obama's inauguration reminds me that it's really the little, every day things that keep us going, moving and pushing forward. Keeping our promises as best we can, doing the best for each other that we can, making the best of a bad situation...these are the examples we set for our children as we go forward. Our example to them is as important as our leader's example to us.

Rusty

Sunday, January 18, 2009

A conversation I wish was happening

Nancy (Amanda's step-mother) sent me an email asking what David wants for Christmas. I replied...

Amanda sent David home w/ nothing from anyone going with him. So I see Nancy telling Amanda:

"So I read in Russell's email that nothing went home w/ David."
Amanda responds, "Well, he needs stuff to play with here."
Nancy: "But we gave those things to David, and he can't play with those things when you have them! Send them down to him so he can have them to play with!"
I can see Amanda hedging some more, trying to justify it some more, but finally "seeing the light" and with down cast eyes, saying, "Okay, "I'll send his things down to Russell." And Nancy angrily slamming down the phone. And me getting his stuff in a week, at some significant cost to Amanda.

I wish that would happen. I don't think David's half as bothered by this as I am (or rather, I can't tell if he's upset at all), but I feel victimized by this, big time. She kept his clothes, even the ones that Kelly sent, and other clothes that fit him just fine. I can see her consigning them, trying to make a few dollars on his clothes.

Friday, January 16, 2009

David Weekly, #44 New Year's Edition

David is home. Amanda drove him to Atlanta, where Matt and Virginia picked him up, all on Saturday. I picked him up halfway between Matt and Virginia's house and mine on Sunday around noon. Matt said David was so excited! He saw me and hugged me and would not let go. We took a tour after that, going first to my mom's house, then to my sister's, so everyone could welcome him back.

I'm sure David had a good Christmas, but I don't really know what he got, because none of it came home with him, and he's not really able to tell me. The main things he got from Santa down here were a Thomas the Train set with wooden tracks, and a bell. The bell is from the Polar Express. Whenever I would ask David what he wants for Christmas, he would tell me he wanted a bell, because that's the first present of Christmas, and it's directly from Santa Clause. He will play with the train quietly for an hour if I let him. He won't even let my checking in on him disturb his play. He loves that thing! I'm going to have buy more tracks...

He is so much more articulate than when he left. It's always the case that when he's here, I watch his development, and I notice and record what I can, but it's another thing entirely when I skipped three and a half weeks of that change. It makes the change that much more impressive. Some notes about his language: Interjections! He now says, "Oh MAN!" when something goes wrong. We went to the grocery store and now he calls it "orange juice", instead of "gold juice."

Here are some observations about him:

Sunday night we read two books, and he went to sleep with no problem. He woke up about 90 minutes later...or not really "woke up" but started to cry...I asked him if he missed his mom, and he said yes...I tried to call her, but no answer. He insisted that I stay with him in his room while he fell asleep again. I probably spent an hour in there holding his hand, trying to tell him he'd be okay. He did fall asleep, and then later on I notice he's in my bed! So it's back to that: keeping him in his own bed.

I took him to "school" on Monday, and there was a bit of separation anxiety when I dropped him off. But he got over it. When I picked him up, he didn't want to leave! Going to Dot's was no problem. In between the one and the other, we took down all the Christmas decorations, undecorated the tree, vacuumed. He kept saying, "Christmas is over." David helped me find all the Christmas stuff that I might have missed. He's a pretty sharp observer!

An observation of my own about him being back is that he doesn't want to do the sign language letters, nor speak, or have me speak to him, in French. So I'll be back to working on that with him. I had gotten a video of a basic French language teaching, with words and the objects that go with them, along w/ colors and a few other things. And he was watching it intently, and practicing saying the words and expressions. He did not like it when I would say the stuff...but that's okay. I was very happy that he was learning it! This means I'll have to invest in some kind of video thing to keep teaching him. He seemed to be learning it. He really did.

David is potty trained! Kudos to Amanda for finishing the job! He volunteers to go the potty, rather than waiting for me or anyone else to remind him. Just gotta figure out the wiping his butt part. I'm still responsible for that. Maybe when he's a bit older he can do it himself. Any tips from anyone reading this are appreciated.

And his hair is so short! Amanda warned me it would be, but I didn't realize how short she meant...wow...

The rest of the week went pretty well. Lately he's wanting to go see Jesse when he gets home from somewhere, and her truck is there, next door. We've gone over there about twice in the 5 or 6 times we've come home and she's home, so as not be intrusive.

Something else I've noticed about his behavior is that he screams more, more loudly, is quicker to anger, and is more likely to hit or kick if something doesn't go his way. I don't know what that could be...maybe just a transition from one place to another?

Today was the first full day off with him that I've had since he came back. So we went to the zoo, and had a grand time! And came home, and then later on in the day went to the store. We played a lot. I threw him on the bed, with the Batman soundtrack going in the background...I don't know why he associates that kind of rough play w/ that movie soundtrack, but he does. Maybe I did it by accident once, and he's not let it go. I know that he likes classical music, because when it's on in the car, he likes to listen...he gets mad if I try to change it.

January is named after the Roman god Janus, who had two faces: one looking forward, and the other looking back. This January, I've been looking back over the last year, thinking about all the changes that David has gone through, and that I've gone through, how we've changed... and now I'm looking forward to 2009, to figure out how to do things better for him, and I can't wait to see him grow and develop more. Hopefully this year I'll be able to get him into some kind of a dance class, and I'll work with him more on the language(s), too. I hope that you are looking at the New Year with hope and optimism, and that you can take something positive out of the one just gone by...

Rusty

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The boy is home

Well, my son is back home. He was gone 3 and a half weeks. That's a long time.

I flew him up to Missouri, and his mom drove him halfway back, to Atlanta, where one set of his grandparents on his mom's side (her parents both remarried) drove him most of the rest of the way down, and I got him at about halfway between where they live and where I live, which is about 45 minutes worth of driving. On my way up to get him, I cried in the car, to the point where I had to pull off to the side of the road. Apparently, I've been keeping my emotions in check while he's been gone, because I was surprised by how much came out...Last night I saw Benjamin Button, and at the end there's a toddler that they show, and it just made me cry, too, because I missed him so much.

When he got out of grandpa's truck, he saw me and just gave me a big hug, and would not let go. He just held me and held me. And I held him, of course. In my mind, I'm feeling like Linus from Peanuts after he's reunited with his blanket. I got his suitcase, and one or two other things in the car, and we were off. I went to my mom's, and then later to my sister's.

A bright note is that he is now fully potty trained. He asks to go to the potty now, and all I have to do is help him get his pants off.

But that's about the only bright note. He is more articulate than when I last saw him, which is good...I sent a bunch of clothes up there that didn't come back. His mom says that those clothes don't fit him anymore, so they didn't send them back because she says I'll just put them on him...but what she does is reject clothes just because of the tag, rather than if they actually fit or not. Drove me crazy when we were together. So now I've lost a lot of clothes for him, and when I asked her to send down the clothes that she has him wear when he's up there, she said no, that I need to buy him clothes, since that's what the CS is for. Sigh. I can't make her send down the clothes that she has him wear for 3 weeks...and neither can I prevent her from stealing his clothes...wtf is that all about?

And...all his Christmas presents he got up there are not coming home. Not one thing that he got for Christmas made it back to FL. When I asked her about that, she says he should have some toys up there. And I agree, but the next time he'll be up there, it'll be for a week, and then 4 weeks in July. Not everything needs to come here, but it is HIS stuff, and he should get to play with it all the time, not just when he's with her. Especially since he's with her so little.

And then there's his hair. She warned me it would be short, but we're talking military grade short. It does not look that good. She said he wanted it, so....It's not allllll buzzed off, but it's way short. My mom saw it and said, "It'll grow back..." I totally agree.

So while I'm happy he's back, I'm aggravated at these three big details.