Day 5?

It's day 3 of the week, but since David's been taking the Vyvanse since Friday...I'm lost. Last night, he was funny, in that his mood was sour. I picked him up early from TKD, and he was unhappy! And gave me attitude. When I was eating dinner he was angrily butting his head against my back, and doing a growl that seemed more like a purr...poor kid. I think maybe coming down off the meds is a problem for him. He did get another green at school. And Ms Gonzalez has added little hearts to say that kids do especially well, and David has two for the week. So we'll see how he does today. :-)

David Digest, V4 - 4

Rusty has been so busy with work and school that he hasn’t had a chance to write one of these for a while. I (Cinnamon – the girlfriend) decided to try to remember some of things he has told me in conversations so that there will be the record for David I know Rusty wants.

We’ll start with something recent. David woke up on his own and instead of waking Rusty up, he decided to get ready for school on his own. He got dressed and started making his lunch. From what I understand he did a pretty good job on it too. Very impressive for a 5 year old (then again, David is a very impressive boy).

This is just one of the ways that David is exerting his independence. Not too long ago he told his dad that he wanted to start riding the bus to school. Rusty explained to him that meant getting ready earlier and eating breakfast at school, but David really wanted to do it. So now David takes the bus to school in the morning. A good side effect of this is that he met some other kids around his age on his bus/bus stop from the neighborhood that he can play with. Up to this point they didn’t really know any of the other kids his age to play with, just a few older ones and that can be very frustrating for David. The little boy who lives across the street likes to play with David and Rusty, but isn’t at the age where he knows how to play with a 5 year old, but he tries.

David is doing really well with Tae Kwon Do after school. He has received his yellow belt and seems to take the instruction seriously. David had been doing a great job in school, not getting many behavior marks, but then when he came back from visiting his mother over spring break he started having a problem controlling himself again. Rusty decided the best course of action was to have the instructors at TKD look at his behavior notes from school and discipline him there. David was very, very unhappy with this idea. Rusty gave him one more chance to improve, but when the next day David still was having problems, Rusty did what he said he would. David may not have been happy, but whatever they do at TDK, it works. He may not be perfect (but what kid is) but the improvement was quick.

Speaking of Spring break – as I said, David got to go visit his mom and “sissy”. He really loves to visit his sissy. He says she defends him when people ask him about his hand. “He was born that way.” We think he really appreciates someone else saying it so he doesn’t have to keep doing it.

His mother also made an astute observation that David was using his “buddy” as a glove. He wraps it around his hand so it can’t be seen. Now a decision has to be made on if and when to take his buddy away. Rusty limits when he is allowed to take it out now. He allows David to bring it in the car, but won’t let him bring it in when we go places. Most of the time David is fine, he only seems to want it when he gets upset or bored.

David has also become a master of sorts at video games. He now has favorites on the Wii, the iTouch and the computer. I swear the boy knows how to operate my Wii better than I do. He likes driving games, but likes to switch off to other things sometimes. He plays a game on the iTouch where he solves puzzles that are associated with dinosaurs – which he loves. He’s good and loves to show off how well he does. He wants me to watch him play and when he gets through a level he tells me “I wasn’t even trying”.

Speaking of dinosaurs, Rusty, David, Mimi, Cayenne (my daughter) and I went to Animal Kingdom. They have a good size Dino area that David enjoyed. He could have (and wanted to) stay there the whole day. Rusty explained that we have to take turns getting to do things and he just accepted it – no fights- he understood. When he wanted to do things he would ask when his turn was and then wait patiently. It helped that he did seem to enjoy everything we did. We saw the Finding Nemo and Lion King shows and he was just mesmerized. He enjoyed seeing the animals (both in person and in a movie in the conservation area). The only time he really had any issues was when it rained and he wanted to not get wet. Even then he wasn’t having a fit or anything like he has in the past.

That seems like enough for now. I will end on a different note: Rusty has been working very hard in school. Last semester was a bear. I’m surprised he has any of his beautiful hair left the way he was pulling it out. He did a great job though and got excellent grades to show for it. So, even though he would love to be keeping up with these better – he’s doing what he can to make life better for him and David.

David Weekly, V4 - 1

Happy New Year! I'm not sure how often I'll put this out, but for now...

David got home January 2. He flew on the plane all by himself. He said it was awesome! He told me a little girl let him play w/ her Nintendo DS on the plane. He also said he didn't cry when his mom put him on the plane. In addition, he said he's willing to fly by himself going up and back. I'm not sure I want to allow that, since she was 30 - 45 min late picking him up at the airport. I can't imagine him at the airport for that long after him having been on a plane for two and half hours.

So we got home, and had Christmas. He opened up his presents, with Jared and Avery and Mimi and Cinnamon in attendance. David got a Hot Wheels race track, a 20 (or so) car pack, two different Leapster games, a couple of puzzles, a couple of different "blendy pen" sets, a Lego set which builds a passenger jet, Nano bugs (robotic bugs), a checkers set, a dinosaur set, a Scooby Doo pencil box, some DVD's - in particular "A Pup Named Scooby Doo" (2nd and 3rd seasons), a digital camera (so he can take pictures on his own camera), a remote control truck, a mini Slinky, and a few other things that I can't remember! It was a pretty good haul. It was a great day. Normally, David and Jared will fight after he gets home, but this time, they seemed to get along really well. David definitely seemed to have done better coming home this time.

The week has gone well for David, mostly. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, he had green, but then Thursday and Friday, it was orange. On Thursday, David got a wake-up call from Tae Kwondo. It would seem that he doesn't take it seriously, and doesn't know enough to be able to test for his next belt. So he won't be able to test on Jan 28, and only if he works will he be able to test at the end of February. I had to tell him that his going to Tae Kwondo isn't just babysitting, or day care, that it's another type of "school" and that he has to work on it if he wants to advance, and that he can't fool around. He also had a fight on Wednesday at Tae Kwondo, which did not make me happy to hear. So while his week began well, it ended difficultly, although Friday he had a good day in Tae Kwondo...Monday night we went to get some new clothes for David at the thrift store, and Tuesday night we went grocery shopping.

One of the biggest things I've been dealing with is Amanda's behavior while David is with her, and then David telling me that she says I don't take care of him. I tell him, "of course I take care of you. I just think your mom has a different idea of what that is..." Another thing is the fact that she kept the clothes I sent up there with him, because she thinks they're too small. I only sent two changes of clothes, but got none back. I double checked before he left to make sure everything fit. I guess I shouldn't be surprised or upset. I tell David that just because his mom thinks his clothes are too small doesn't mean that they are, that he can see for himself if they are too small or not. Another thing is her allowing Tait to call me names in front of David. David realized after he got home that he'd be missing Colleen's birthday, so he asked if he could call her. We did, he said Happy Birthday to her, and not much else. Amanda said that any time David wants to call, he can...but I don't see that happening.

Lastly, David had "Winter Homework" that I didn't expect to get done while he was up at the Missouri, so we finished it this week. David loves math! I find this to be a positive development, since I would like to steer him towards math, since I think that having that skill will lead to a better future for him. He's already good at reading anyway.

So that's a week...we'll see what happens next week!

Rusty

David Weekly, V3 - 35

I skipped 34 in my previous post. The David Weekly staff regret the error.

So David needs help: when he's turned himself upside down and backward on the couch...he calls me: Daddy! I need your help! Lately, though, it's on a video game he got last Christmas, but wasn't quite old enough to play. He can handle the frustration of not always winning a little bit better now than he could before, and he's old enough to get farther in the game, too...the game is the Sponge Bob controller game that plugs into the TV. It's a joystick and game all in the joystick. He plays it, jumps around, makes noise...it's a happy thing for him to have and to play. Except when he needs help. I help sometimes, and refuse other times, since I want him to stick to something he finds difficult and make it through. It works sometimes.

David Weekly, V3 - 34

David and I had the best time on Saturday! I let him sleep in, and then when he got up, we lazed around for a while...he'd been saying he wants to go the zoo, since we haven't been there in a while. But I had other plans! We went instead to the art festival, which is at the green park. We walked all around, saw different kinds of art. David was not interested in most of it, though. He did like the lady who was actually doing the painting of some scenes, and asking about the different brushes she uses, because he wanted her to use the big brush, but she told him she was doing the detail work with a smaller brush. And then we went to green park itself and went on the swings. Somehow, he managed to pinch himself on his arm. We went to find the First Aid, but there wasn't any, so we asked the police officer stationed there if he knew of anything. He said that he had some band-aids, and he gave us one. His arm didn't bleed at all, so that was a good thing.

Then, after the art festival and the green park, we went to a garage sale. I'm glad we did, because I was able to get a good bunch of books for about $5. David really likes the books we got. Dr. Seuss, and some others. After the garage sale, we went to the zoo. This time, though, we didn't really do our normal run-walk through the zoo. What did do is go to one of the aviaries, and then the "Australia" part, and got some lunch. David ate his hot dog and french fries. He played in the little play area for a while, and then we went to the goat petting area. He touched all the goats, then got a brush and brushed them, too. After that, David wanted to go back to the aviary we'd been to before, and then got the idea to run around the path. The way it's set up, it's a circle that you start at the entrance, then exit the circle through the exit. So we ran the path a couple of times. Then, David got the idea to have us run in opposite directions! He thought that was great! We did a lot of that, and for a while. But then it was time to go...so we went home, and he didn't fall asleep in the car on the way home, which surprised me. David was feeling pretty good, because he even let me have a turn with the TV, which he never does. Of course, I rarely want a turn with the TV, so that works out. Usually it's a major struggle to get him to let me watch something. Anyway. He likes to play "Jump into daddy's arms and get thrown on the couch." But that's fun, so we do that.

I also had him sit down to do his homework. Which he did! Then I had to go over it again with him, show him how to make his work neater. I told him about learning again, since he was so worried about it before. I'm doing my best to show him that learning is 1) Hard Work 2) practicing something you already know, but getting better at it 3) just plain and simple worth your time 4) not something you can only do in a classroom.

Another interesting thing is that David was telling me that he has to "respect Tae Kwondo" and that means respecting others. I'm feeling a bit better about the choice to put him in there. He is beginning to ingest those values that they are teaching. I'm not totally sure if that means his behavior is going to change, but at least he's got some value attached to what he's doing.

--

Skip a week or two -- I talked to my friend James, about the fact that I'm not sending these out weekly anymore - he suggests that I maybe change this to the David Digest, and just when it gets a certain amount of detail, send it out. Not a bad idea. I went away for a week, and had David stay with Jesse, and my sister, and my mom. David missed me a lot, my mom said. Rachel told me that the Monday I was gone, David had a terrible coughing fit, and that they were up all night. The rest of the week passed without incident that I'm aware of. I got back last Saturday, before Thanksgiving, and David was very happy to see me.

One of the benefits and curses of Thanksgiving is that kids are out of school. As a result, David ended up spending Sunday night w/ Mimi, and Tuesday night as well. Tuesday night when I called to check on him, he was telling Mimi that he misses me. Mimi has been a saint to keep David extra time this week for me. He went to Tae Kwondo on Tuesday. Tuesday night and Wednesday he spent with Mimi, and Jared and Avery. Mimi told me that they played whiffle-ball, and that David was pretty good at hitting the balls! David had a good time. Wednesday night was with me. Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, we went to Rachel's for turkey and dressing. Of course, David isn't very good at sitting at the table, sitting still, eating his food. Somewhere along the line, he went from eating everything, to eating not very much. He really enjoys playing with Avery and Jared a lot. At the table, he was singing a song that Rachel captured on video, of him singing what each animal says, and then saying it. "A lion goes roar, roar!" It was funny because then he sang about "a dinosaur goes roar, ROAR!!"

Lately, David "phonetically spells" words for me, by "syllable": 't - ur - tle', or 'D - a - vid' -- he pronounces words by sound, in a kind of spelling them out by sound way. He also will sit himself down to do his homework without me telling him to, which I see as a good sign. I'm finding that he can read, but only words that he knows, and that he doesn't know how to sound out unfamiliar words. I find this to be troubling, because it turns English into a language like Chinese - you just have to know the symbols as a unit, and not how they are pieced together. What counter-acts this is programs on PBS, like the Electric Company, which spends time explaining how to piece words together from smaller sound units.

He also likes to whisper things in my ear, rather than saying it out loud, even when it's not a secret. If anything, he doesn't seem to think of trying to tell me secrets.

We went for pictures the other day, and he behaved, mostly. It was a lot better than last time. If you would like some photos, just ask, and I'll send some. I only posted one on FB, but I have more. :-)

So there ya go, two weeks...

Rusty

David Weekly, V3 - 33

Acorns fall from the oak tree, and carpet the driveway. David asks me why we get home from Tae Kwondo at night, and I tell him it's because the time changed. In the mornings, he wakes up at 6:30 or so, because that's about sunrise, no matter what time he goes to bed. I pick him up from Tae Kwondo about 5:30 each night, except for Tuesdays. I have a class that night that I must attend, so he goes with Rachel.

His behavior this week: Almost all green. He got into a fight on Wednesday at Tae Kwondo, and even though he got a green at kindergarten, I made him put orange for the day, because he wasn't good all day. He was very upset about that, and really cried. What did he get into a fight about? At the Tae Kwondo place, he has to put his backpack and lunchbox in a cubbie, but it falls out. So two other children (more advanced, and older) were teasing him in some way, probably playing keep-away. He fought them to get it back. It was good to hear that he wasn't the only one punished. I told him that he needs to take better care of his things to keep that from happening again, and that he needs to involve an adult. Enough repetitions will make this get through to him, right?

I told David that I will take him to an art festival on Saturday, and he said he'd rather go to school so he can learn things. I told him that he learns all kinds of things not in school, like how to talk, and all about dinosaurs. I said that he can learn by going to see art, to see what people are trying to say through pictures. And by practicing what he's learned by doing homework. He still hates his homework, and I don't see that changing. I did realize that I really have to work with him to get him motivated to practice and do things. But it feels right, and he seems to like it, too.

Another thing I told David is that next week, I'm going on a big boat, but that he's staying home. I've got a schedule all worked out: Monday, I take him to school. Monday night and Tuesday night, Rachel will pick him up, and drop him off at school Tuesday morning and Wednesday morning. Jesse will then pick him up Wednesday night and Thursday night, and drop him off at at school Thursday morning and Friday morning. And then Mimi will pick him up Friday night. I will be back on Saturday, and pick him up from Mimi on Saturday afternoon. David is upset that he won't be going with me. I told him that I need for him to be a bit more mature, and to be able to handle himself better before I can take him somewhere like that. Ms. Perez was telling me that part of the way he introduces himself to others is to "throw his weight around" by being physical with the other kids.

Finally, David got his report card with just behavior, and at the same time, he received an award for Perfect Attendance, and Good Citizenship. The Good Citizenship is a bit of a suprise, but according to the notice I got, he has no "behavior indicators." I have no idea what that exactly means, but it's a good thing, and I'll take it.

So there ya have it. A very pedestrian week. Hope yours is uneventful in all the good ways.

David Weekly, V3 - 32

My friend James brought to my attention something I said last week: David's maturity level and academic achievement will be on par or more advanced that others in his peer group.

David's last swim lesson was October 30. He graduated to the next group, but we'll be waiting until the spring (probably April) for more swimming lessons.

Meanwhile, Halloween with David was a blast! We spent Halloween at Mimi's. David was very excited to be giving out candy, and was very parental, in that he would instruct the other kids who were getting candy to "Say Thank You! You're supposed to say Thank You." He was counting the kids as they would come, and announcing it to me: "We need 3 pieces of candy!" or "There's 4 kids!" He had me bring him the candy, so that he could give it out. Eventually, it got dark, and we headed out. David was saying that he really doesn't want to celebrate Halloween, because he doesn't like that it's scary. I told him that he's celebrating it anyway, by giving out candy, and by going trick-or-treating himself, and that it was ok to be scared, which is what it's partly about.

What scared David: insane clowns, super skeleton masks, grave-yards...David said that the best part of Halloween was giving out the candy. When we were walking along, he would skip houses, and I'd have to remind him that he's out to get candy! And then he would go get some. Another thing is that he refused to let me take pictures of him, or if he did let me, then he would make faces. Too funny, that kid. Finally, I told him at one point how happy I am that he's in my life, and that I have him for my son, and he says, very simply, "We're connected, daddy." Made me about cry. I'm amazed at how profound he can be.

So Monday morning, David was asking me about "times", as in, 2 x 3. Trying to explain this to him, while I'm taking a shower, is not easy. In the car on the way to school, I figure it out: "if you do something once, how many times did you do it?" Then I went to twice, three times, four times...and I think he got it a little bit. I also told him that this is hard, and he has to work to understand, and not fight me on it. That also seemed to make a bit of a dent, since he was a bit more receptive to what I was trying to tell him.

The rest of the week flew by: Measured by his discipline gems (his behavior in school), he got three greens and two oranges. So, a good week, but not a great one.

David started his Tae Kwondo after-school program, and managed to get his white belt "early": by the end of the week. That means that his behavior was really good. It's a good thing since usually kids get their white belt during the first week or two, but David earning it even one day early says good things. He's learned rather quickly to ask for permission to leave (when he sees me, he doesn't just leave without telling anyone), and he bows to the teacher before getting his stuff.

David was also telling me about "Intervention", which is where he got the oranges. Intervention, I found out later, is simply like a reading group, but it's not, because reading groups are part of "centers"...which I don't completely understand all of this. I think maybe sometime soon I'll take a day to get to know the deep inner workings of kindergarten, because, even Ms. Perez says it's too complicated.

Friday night was hard for him, since I had to stop by and give Mimi his clothes and stuff for the weekend, because he stayed with her. She told me later that David very loudly proclaimed: "I love my daddy more than anyone else in the whole world!" He was merely upset that he wasn't going home with me...poor kid. But he had fun with Mimi.

That's a week with lots missing.

Rusty