Sigh. While I haven't been offered a job in NH, before they even will interview me, I have to be able to be willing to move to NH. I am certainly willing, but XW is telling me that she will want to flip our custody arrangement so that she'll have DS with her in MO, rather than me have him in NH. Our divorce decree states that I won't leave FL, where I currently am...I wish I had thought of this possibility when we went for mediation. I never thought I'd leave FL...
So, do I just sigh at the opportunity lost, do I go to court over this, or let her have him and me go to NH if I get the job? Ugh.
-----
I was really dumb about this part of the agreement when we were in mediation. I never CONSIDERED even leaving FL at the time, but now, it's way too small of a state!
I'm not going to give her my DS...that is for 200% sure. I'm think I'm going to send a note to my lawyer and ask how much it might cost to get that provision changed...
Sigh.
-----
Okay, points in favor of her argument: she says that DS should be close to extended family. I have no counter-argument there. Or do I? I do have my mother and my sister and her
PS I sent a letter to my lawyer asking how much it will cost to try to get that changed, whether I get this job or not...
-----
Well, we discussed me moving out of state before, and she said no. I just need to push the issue. I'm not so worried about getting the job, or feeling like my bubble is burst because of her objection. It's something that's always in the back of my mind.
I am pretty open with her, no doubt. And she is so not open with me. I know very little of what happened with David while he was with her, and she doesn't have any digital pictures of him to send, and I doubt I'll ever see the analog ones that you take w/ 35mm film. It's very frustrating.
Thank you for caring about me, it means a lot. I keep her informed because it's the right thing to do. I wouldn't say we have a supportive relationship, because she said this in an email (quoth the raven):
You are stuck in florida until he's 18 unless you give me custody.
She doesn't really make demands on me, because she really can't. Since we figured out that our marriage was over, my best interests were never at heart, and lately I'm wondering if she cares about DS...I did not lay down and die in spite of how bad she was to me before she left. She was very surprised by my ability to stand up and withstand her horribleness, because I'm usually like a reed in the wind...
Because of the blatant-ness of the above statement, I contact my lawyer, and asked how much this will cost to get this one thing changed, and what the repurcussions will be. I have a back-up plan in case she stops paying CS...(she's been voluntarily unemployed since leaving Tampa), my main worry about opening up this can of worms...but we'll see what happens...
-----
The only reason I have David 95% of the time is because she chose to leave FL, and relocate to MO. State law says she can't take him with her, because that deprives me of my rights as a parent. Had she stayed here we would have had him 50/50.
It's my fault about me having to stay in FL, because that was part of our mediation. I never thought I'd leave, or want to leave, FL. It was not a big deal to me at the time. Now a bad decision is really biting me in the butt. She thinks that had she stayed, she would have primary custody. Je pense que non!
I'm in Florida because this is where I was born and raised. I'm here by default, I suppose. I have some other connections, but extended family doesn't really determine where I live, in this case, my mom and my sister. And doesn't really have anything to do with it, it's just bluster from her. But David is with me because I wanted him! And obviously, Amanda wanted her bf and seasons that you get in MO. There's not really seasons here in FL...David's going to have to live with that rejection for his whole life. I can hear her thought process, "Hmm...is it more important to be with my son, or the seasons and my bf? Easy choice!" Just amazing.
-----
Today, in "Relocation Hospital", we have our protagonist, Mr. Rusty, who spoke with Dr. Atty, about his prospects for the future. Dr. Atty says that it's going to be a difficult procedure. The extraction requires an "Intent to relocate" procedure, that Dr. Atty will help with. The cost is undetermined, since it's possible that the disease will fight, and more surgeries will be needed. (Cue 50's style pipe organ music)
Okay, that was fun. The atty says I have to file some forms, etc, and given what I know about the ex, she will fight it. I informed her of this change because she's going to find out anyway...I have no intention of giving the boy up to her. If I'd had my way, I would have kept her DD, too... Anyway...I share highlights of achievements, accomplishments, changes, but not things like "Lost my temper" or "Due to my negligence..." I've been telling him that I love him so much since yesterday. She won't get him...if I can't leave FL, I can't. It's pretty crappy, but it's my own stupidity that did it. Lately I wonder if she'll move back down here just to keep me from moving. Wouldn't that be sweet! It would be bad for me, but good for the boy, and bad for the ex...so I'm not sure about that now that I think of it.
I will not be the one who has to explain to him why I left him. She will.
No comments:
Post a Comment