The Eagle Has Landed!

Hello all...David is back in Tampa-Town, safe and sound. I just put him to bed, but I bet he doesn't fall asleep right away.

The plane arrived about 15 minutes early, but it still took them about 30 minutes or so to get off the plane, and come out of the terminal to the main building.

He's changed so much in two weeks! His speech is so much more clear, his vocabulary is bigger...it's so amazing. When they got off the tram from the terminal, he saw me...and did a very dramatic, slow crumple to the ground. It was quite a thing. I went over and picked him up, and carried him all around, like to baggage claim. Amanda claims that he was so well behaved when she was with him, and as soon as he saw me became the not-so-well-behaved little boy/wild-child. She says that she doesn't carry him around, or chase him when he mis-behaves...but then she back-tracked and said something about how when her daughter was around other people she was an angel, and then when Amanda got Colleen, that's when she'd act up. Which means that Amanda is the 'other people' and I'm the parent.

I became a puddle of jelly with her around. We went to the post office at the airport, which is not in the landside terminal (BTW, the way the airport works is on a spoke/hub system, with the landside terminal at the center, and the airsides are the airline terminals, and they're connected by trams. Here's a map.), which means we have to get in my car and go to the post office...I always park my car on the roof, so I can watch planes, and of course, David wanted to watch planes, too, so we did that for a while. Then to the Post Office. At the post office David and I watched planes, and Amanda closed her PO Box that she had at the airport (on the recommendation of her atty). It was funny that she didn't understand why they gave her a dollar...it's a refund on the key deposit for the box...We had some serious discussion on the way back to the landside terminal. Several times I asked her if she wanted to go somewhere for dinner, since we had about two hours before she had to be back at the airport (she had a total of a 3 hour lay over before going back to MO). She said that she felt like David got to know her more in the two weeks that she had him than in the previous two years. I could only think, "It's all about you, isn't it?" You have to make sacrifices for your kids! She has sacrificed nothing, and is being so totally selfish...She's happy up there, but I'll never understand how she could leave him. He's just so wonderful. Anyway, she ultimately refused to have dinner with us...it's good for him to see us get along for the time we're together.

I mentioned to her that I still have feelings for her, and that I'm not holding on to the past...I wanted to have someone at the airport take a picture of the three of us, but that was a no-go...She was extremely apologetic, too, but not about the big things, like our relationship falling apart (or the way she treated me) instead about non-consequencial things, like me taking her to the post office. I told her I miss her "adult supervision" and she said that was one of the problems in our relationship...that's just BS...I was usually the adult, or just adults with very different ways of doing and being...she frequently wanted me to manage her, and I just won't do that. Of course, she'd get mad when I would...I was never strong enough to really step on her the way she seemed to need, or the way her current BF does now. He really dominates her, and she's a very strong person herself...But she's happy...

I still struggle with him being 'alone' with me, when he has a "full" family up there, with a mommy and a 'daddy' and a sister...Amanda tells me that when he first got up there that that he would point at her BF and say "NOT daddy!" over and over.

I know I'm the one who let her go, and encouraged her to be with her BF now. I knew our marriage wasn't working. I let her go. I also told her not to be late anymore for the airport. She just gave me the lame excuse that she didn't know where she was going...sigh.

I don't know why I'm still hashing this marriage/divorce thing with her, but it's strange. I have wild fantasies that she'll have a long layover and she can come back to my house...but I know that's not going to happen. I caught myself looking at her and being VERY attracted to her. I still love her, and told her so, and then I said, "Even though you've hurt me, and drive me crazy,..." Yeah, I'm pathetic. We spent some time just driving around the airport (at these gas prices?!) and talking. That was nice. Then I took her back to the dropoff point, and she gave David a kiss, and he waved goodbye to her...She said he needed his routine, even though she had an hour yet to get on the plane, and security is short and to the point at my airport.

When we got home he at a piece of pizza, and I had some, too, and we watched Pee-Wee, of course (yes, Pee-Wee Herman...my son loves him!) Then he went to bed...

Rusty