Called Out...

How am I doing? Not keeping up well enough with my blog...remembering what it's like to be single...It's been 4.5 years since I met my ex...I'm getting used to my empty house, and my empty schedule, and figuring out how to fill it back up, only to know that my DS will be back in 52 hours. Yup, he'll be back on Saturday at about 6 PM or so.

I cried a lot for the first few days that he was gone. I'm not sure why that was so traumatic, since he'd been gone once before (just after Christmas) for about 10 days.

I'm finding it hard to tell you what's going on with me, since I find it hard to believe that anyone really wants to know. I know you do, but it's something I struggle with.

I've gotten done some chores that would have been difficult or impossible with him here, like pressure washing my driveway, and some other stuff around the house. I went to the dentist today? I haven't gone to the movies, but I watched one that I just happen to have (my ex left a lot of movies on VHS)... 8mm...don't watch that if you're unhappy and depressed. Or if you're in a good mood.

As I read over this, I realize how much I feel withdrawn from life, and how hard it is to engage in life (as I knew it before) now that I have this anchor in my life named David. It's hard enough for me to get out and do things, but more so since I have him. There's a local yahoo group for 'families' but after I joined it seemed only to be married families with moms and dads and kids. And me, the sore thumb. But I didn't really join for myself as much as for my DS, because play groups are good, something to do during the day other than watch TV (all PBS, all the time) is good, getting out of the house is good.

I'm beginning to worry all over again about being a good parent, how he's going to readjust to being home again, how I'm going to readjust to him being around all the time again.

I know the first item when he gets back is Potty Training (I write this as the ad to my left shows a small child on the potty lol :-)

Rusty

PS Thanks for asking. :-) Meow!