David Weekly, #40, Thanksgiving Edition

Moments of magic...this is why we have children, to share moments of magic...It's Friday night, at 10 PM, and I just put David down to bed. It's been a beautiful day. We watched The Polar Express, and it's wonderful that he's able to become emotionally involved in the movie. Two hours is a little long for him to watch a complete movie, but I'm not sure if the commercial breaks were a blessing or a curse. After about 90 minutes or so, he wasn't sure if the movie was over yet. So he kept asking. The "emotionally involved" part is when in the movie, Santa gives the little boy a bell, but the boy loses the bell because of a hole in his pocket. The next morning, after opening all of the presents, there's one left, and it's the bell. David saw this and just smiled a great big smile and hugged me in happiness and relief.

I got a Christmas tree for my house, and David helped to decorate it, along with Jared and Avery, and my mom, of course. I've been calling it the "Charlie Brown" tree, because it's small, about 4 and a half feet or so. It has lights and decorations and such. We had a blast putting it up. After it was all done, and everyone was gone, I turned off all the lights except for the tree, and the one or two other things I have that have lights in them, such as the porcelain little town shops and such that I have. I was telling David that this is magic. He whispers to me "magic"...he really gets it.

Of course, this is Thanksgiving week, and we went to our traditional feast of turkey and trimmings, at my sister's in-laws' house. David got to run around and play with Avery and Jared, relatively unsupervised. He's getting to where I don't need to be on top of his every move to make sure he doesn't hurt himself or destroy things. David doesn't like saying grace, for some reason. My mother said the blessing, but David wasn't having it. But he was at least quiet anyway, for the most part.

Wednesday I went to Gabrielle's Glen to eat lunch with him there, with all the other parents. It was nice for us to eat together with all the other families that were able to come to the lunch.

Last week I mentioned about his language growing, and changing. So here's an example conversation w/ David:

D: I want somefing to drink
R: How do you ask?
D: May I haf some gold juice, please?
R: Would you like Gatorade?
D: No. Gold juice, I fink.

It's that last part that gets me. That's the extra flourish that I'm talking about that he does...and another thing. Lately when I ask him something, and he doesn't want it, he says, "No way!" Not just "no." It kills me when I hear that.

Another item from last week: Amanda tells me that David learned about the traffic light with her when he was up there last time. It's funny how that works. When we were decorating the tree and talking about Santa Clause, he already has all the vocabulary that goes with it, even things we haven't discussed. It's almost like he learned it last year, but the words didn't come out until this year. Same thing with the traffic light. It took some time to settle in his brain for him to be able to communicate it back out.

He also is demonstrating some other emotional awareness: "Are you happy or sad?" But I'm frequently neither, so I'll say, "I'm concerned" or "Frustrated," which is how I feel in the mornings when he won't let me sleep. It used to be that I'd ask him to go play in his room, and he'd go play in his room for a little while so I could sleep. That doesn't happen anymore. Instead, he wants to wake me up, at any cost, which is sooooo hard for me to do, but he really doesn't care. "Just wake up! Daddy..." A positive note about this, though, is that his diaper is dry when he wakes up now. He still wants to sleep in my bed, too..."Frustrated."

His French is getting better. I tell him "Je t'aime" now and he made the connection, "That means I lwove you," he says. On the other hand, I ask him to count in French, or say things in French, I tell him things in French, and he says, "No. In Engwlish." Other times he's willing to do the French thing with me. It comes and goes, I suppose.

Monday and Tuesday David had another cough, so I was giving him the full regimen of cough medicine, nebulizer, and vapo-rub on his chest. At 5 AM on Monday he actually woke me up to go potty. I wish I could understand what made him want to do that, since he doesn't do it any other time. Maybe just because he was sick. Funnier was that he has these two little hippos and an elephant. The elephant is brown, and the one hippo is purple, and the other one is a baby blue-ish color. He was adamant that I hold the blue hippo. Absolutely adamant. He still makes me hold it from time to time now. I don't completely understand it, but I dutifully hold the thing.

Saturday was another day of coming home to a house full of people: David playing with Jesse's two nephews...but then they were gone, and Jesse, David, and I went out to eat. Sunday was another day of shopping for furniture for my now spare bedroom, Colleen's old room.

So...now the Christmas season has begun. It's funny that we have a holiday to think about how we're thankful for things, and people, and events that have shaped us for the better, then go into the headlong rush of Christmas. By coincidence (or not?) David asked to watch a Veggie Tales DVD of "Madame Blueberry," the tale of how to have a thankful heart. As I mentioned last week, I do have a thankful heart, and I look forward to making this Christmas magical for my son and those around me.

Je t'aime

Je t'aime means I lwove you, he says...he's learning. :-) Funny how I make a big deal about him learning a different language when kids are learning two languages all over everywhere, and learning to be fluent in both, whereas I'm just teaching him very halting French. Sigh.

Trainwreck

I don't know why my mother has such an urge to buy something RIGHT NOW! I mistakenly, foolishly, told her I have plans for the empty room in my house, to make it a nice place for visitors...and now she wants to go shopping, and buy stuff. The first time we go out to start looking for stuff, she's telling me to bring my checkbook, so I can buy something if I should need to. I don't know why she wants me to impulse buy a $400 piece of furniture, since I had said I wanted a day bed for that room. Ugh. Talk about frustration. I yelled at her to cut it out. I'm not going to buy something just because it's there. I have better things to do w/ my money. I could go on Craig's list, or free cycle...We went shopping again yesterday, and I ended up buying a futon. Very unsatisfying. But it's now there, in my house, in that room.

Did I mention how tired I was? I haven't been sleeping well lately, because David keeps coming into my bed in the middle of the night, and I just can't sleep with him there. Saturday night I even went to bed at 11 PM, and...he wakes me up at the crack of dawn, and won't leave me alone to sleep a little bit longer like he normally does. I was extremely frustrated w/ him over this, since I asked, begged, demanded for him to leave me be for a little while longer, and he just wouldn't. So I got up. I was having a terrible day, and then my mom wants to go shopping for furniture. And she's almost insistent that I buy something TODAY. She saw some end tables for $34 and she's like, "They're cheap!" I so don't care. Why am I here?

After the shopping fiasco is over. I make dinner, feed the boy, put him to bed...and he wakes up a couple of hours later. Seems that he was having a nightmare. Something about a box getting rained on that David was standing on top of...but he was very unhappy, crying and crying. But what made it worse was that he had a cough, and his breathing was shallow...and his heart was racing. We talked about his nightmare for a while, and I held him, telling him it was just a dream. Then I gave him some cough medicine, and tried to put him back to bed, but that wasn't happening. I decided to do the nebulizer thing, which helped a lot. This is all around midnight or so. About 5 AM he wakes up again, not able to breath...so this time I gave him some chest rub, which helped him sleep. We both slept until at least 10 AM this morning! I finally had enough sleep, thankfully. Another thing about the 5 AM deal is that he asked me to go potty all by himself, not something I thought of on my own at that point, and he went! Woohoo! We did the nebulizer again in the morning...he was unwilling to eat, even though he asked for cereal. He just wanted to drink his milk. And he was whiney and clingy...poor kid. Coughing up a storm. I took him to Dot's, still coughing, but not that bad.

Also had a long talk w/ Amanda...she's conflicted big time. She admitted how much she missed David, and how she consoles herself for him being gone. We talked about a lot of stuff.

Notes

David this morning (Saturday morning) is hanging out with me in the bathroom while I'm taking a shower. He's talking to me...laying on the floor, and I can't see him since I'm behind the curtain. At some point, though, he tells me he has to go potty...and then takes off his pants, and his diaper/pullup, puts the little seat on, and sits himself down...and then he can't go, because he's already filled up his diaper. He was very unhappy that there was nothing coming out, but I told him it's okay, since he got another step of potty training: taking off his pants and sitting on the pot. (I'm going to have to teach him to stand up, too, at some point.) I was very happy! And of course, he demanded his 5 pieces of candy.

He understands the concept of keeping his diaper dry, but is not totally on board with it, though he did get on the potty all by himself today. It was such a surprise!

While I'm in the shower, I think of all the things that I missed in my last missive, and then I sit here and can't think of those things. I think maybe I've lost the art of letting my mind wander as I write. hmmm...

David Weekly, #39

It's been a cold week this week, with temperatures lower than normal. David's been alternately liking and hating putting on the clothes that he normally doesn't wear to make sure they fit.

I corrected David today, when I roar at him, he says, "Don't rar me, daddy!" This is usually when we're playing and roar at him. He also says it when I growl, but I told him I was growling, so now he calls it a growl. I spent a good part of my day at my mom's on Sunday, and we were successful most of the day at keeping his pullup dry. Every couple of hours I'd sit him on potty. He only went once, though. Late in the day, I noticed he was needing to go, but it was too late. Oh well. We're still getting better. We played, too...

So on Monday I had jury duty. Took David to Dot's at an hour before I normally get out of bed, and was at the courthouse by 8 AM. Monday night, I got to take him for a walk, and he tells me to stop, because of the STOP sign. Yeah, he knows the Stop sign. He read me the letters, and tells me it means stop. So we stop. And don't move. And stay stopped. It was really funny after a while. So literal! I told him that we can at least get close enough to the other road we're stopping for to be able to see the cars coming. He waits until there are no cars at all, and then he wants to run home. And we ran the two blocks. Every time a car would come, he'd stop on the side of the road to wait for all the traffic to stop before we went again. It took a little while to get home at that pace, but that's okay. It was time well spent. On the way he sees another sign: SPEED LIMIT 20. He says that's a Stop sign, too. I had to point out a Stop sign is red, has only the 4 letters...so he's not there yet. But he's got the concept down, which is great! On a related note, he tells me that the red light means stop, and the yellow light is slow down, and green is go. Not sure how he learned this. School? Dot? His own observation? The world may never know...only because I never think to ask anyone when I see them.

David's developing a sense of time as well. He seems to know about "tomorrow" and "yesterday"...I heard him trying out the word "yesterday", because he said it slowly, haltingly...He also is cognizant of the clock hands, too, especially because they're very relevant to his time to sit on the potty.

David has a bit of an exaggerated idea of who he is, since he was telling me something was going to come on TV, and I said, we have to wait to see what they say will be on next, and he says, "But it's what I said," will be on next. He also has a thing where he will repeat himself with the phrase: "I said: Let's go!" So I'm hearing what I say to him come back to me. Fortunately, I don't swear, or use foul language, so that's not a concern. But it still seems that I have to be aware of the way that I talk to him.

Meanwhile, we're developing a routine when we leave the house for Dot's: he runs into the back yard by the hot tub and either climbs on it in happy delight that I'm going to catch him, or he goes to find a leaf (remember the clue leaf?), so that he can carry it to Dot's when we go. We look for the tree that we know is there in the neighbor's back yard that drops these leaves. He also likes to get the crunchiest leaf he can find and crackle it -- inside the house, on the living room floor.

Another language note: there's more "flourish" to his language now. I'm losing the ability to describe the way his language is growing more clear, precise, and expressive. He's more able to communicate his thoughts, and thought process.

Next week is Thanksgiving, so I'll be thinking about what I'm thankful for, and eating lots of turkey, and showing "Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" this week to David. I know that I'm thankful for all of you that read my weekly updates about a little boy...

Rusty

David Weekly, #38

It's been a good week. I got home on Saturday after work to a house full of children: Jesse ended up with her two nephews and the little girl she always babysits, plus David. When I got home, she was ready for nap! David is definitely learning how to play well with others, but hasn't mastered it yet, since he was having a terrible time sharing, and wanting to play with everything everyone else had, no matter what it was, or how long ago he'd played with it. I made a kids' dinner: baked beans, corn, and the little Hillshire Farms sausages. Everyone ate pretty well, except Jesse and I...so when it was time for Jesse and company to leave, I ended up going with them next door, and Anna fed us again. David was so funny, though, since at the end of the night when it was time to leave, the two nephews were getting in the tub for a bath, and he was begging me to get in there with them! But instead, we went home, read a book, went to sleep.

Sunday we went to see my father, but David fell asleep in the car on the way over there. Poor kid. He wasn't his usual gregarious self, and my dad was busy anyway, so we didn't stay long. It was funny, though, when I was telling David we were going to go...I said, "We're going to see my father today." And he furrows his brow, and says to me, "And when we're done seeing your father, can we go see my father?" I laughed and said that I am his father (which automatically put into my head, "Luke. I . am your father!")...too funny. So he doesn't know the word father. Well, he does now.

And he's peeing in the potty! I'm very happy about that. My head is bruised a bit, because he literally likes to butt heads with me. Ugh. But it keeps him on the pot until he's done something. I'm over the crying and the tears and the playing. He did not like naked time, he told me. He'd rather have on his diaper. Well, I said, you're not getting your diaper until you pee in the potty! Yes, it's paradoxical, I know. But it did have its intended impact. Later in the week we're getting a routine. And he's less fussy about the whole thing. He still resists until I tell him he'll sit there until he goes, so almost immediately, something happens. He's learning!

David had his first "incident" at his preschool this week. I got there at the usual time, around noon, and he came in from being outside with his class crying! And his face was dirty. So I see him and pick him up, and he says that Brandon pushed him...of course, I have to wonder if this was something that he got as retaliation, or if it's something that happened out of the blue. David told me the story a number of times, but I wasn't quite able to make sense of it. We got home and he was still upset, so I got a cool, wet rag for his face, washed him off, sat with him for a while, made him feel better.

David has officially discovered sticks. And rocks. I know I talked about this last week, but it's worth mentioning again. He collects sticks he finds, plays with them (sometimes with an emphatic HIYA! à la Japenese karate flicks), or just carries them around as he's doing other things...Or he carries rocks. I have some smooth garden stones (I'm sure these have a name, but I don't know it :-) and he finds one to hold, carry around, what have you. He discovered that holding a stone can keep his hand warm, because the stone holds heat. He rather liked that.

On the language learning front, David did something new: he asked me how to say something in French! He said he was tired, and then asked me how to say that in French, with his eyebrows doing their little furrow thing. I told him, and then he began asking me a bunch of other "how do you say" questions. I feel like he is picking it up. I also realized that I tell him I love him, but never say it in French. Part of language is communication, so I'm having to learn how to communicate in French, which I've only really had to do twice: once when I was actually in France, and when Amanda and I would speak in French to keep Colleen from understanding what we were saying. It's so much more immediate feeling, though, but I have to remind myself that he only knows English because that's how I communicate with him. He'll learn French if I use that to communicate with him. At one point, I said something he didn't understand in French, so he said, "Show me."

Another new thing: He ran away from me, went into colleen's room and closed the door. And thought that was the funniest thing! He says things are funny, and he's putting value judgements on things, like flowers. He got me the purple/pinkish flowers from my periwinkles, just two of them, saying how pretty they are. Then he brings me a white flower from the periwinkles, but this is not as pretty, he says.

And finally, we went to go see the Space Shuttle launch today. It was a long, slow drive over there, since there was so much traffic. David kept asking to go faster! It's the last night time launch of the shuttle, as the fleet will be retired in 2010. It takes about 2 and half hours to get out there from here. He fell asleep on the way over, and when we got to the Cape (Cape Canavarel not simply "Cape"), we went to a park that sat on the water, which gave a perfect view of the whole thing. David is such a trooper. I told him we're going to go see a rocket ship go into space, and he wanted to go! He sat quietly in the back seat, or he talked to me about what we were going to see...When we finally got there, he got out of the car with me...we ended up on US 1, just west and south of the Kennedy Space Center, where there was a park (and lots of people) on the water, which gave a great view of the shuttle as it was lifting off. Of course, at the park was a play set, so we played while waiting for the shuttle to do its thing. When it was all over (about 10 minutes later), David was like, "Let's go home." And he sat quietly in the back for the two hours it took to get home...but a good portion of that was sleeping.

The astronauts will be in space for 16 days, enlarging the International Space Station, and helping to trade out crew. With this in mind, let's hope that the spirit of cooperation and of dreams had and achieved permeates us and our future.

* There is probably no more terrible instance of enlightenment than the one
in which you discover your father is a man — with human flesh.

Paul Muad'Dib

I hope that David finds this out long after he grows up. I worry about being flawed, and human, with him. Although, I suppose it's better than being inhuman. I think really I'm worried about failure. As a person, at my job, at life...

Not a trainwreck weekend!

This has been a good weekend. I went to see my father today. It was funny, though, when I was telling David we were going to go...I said, "We're going to see my father today." And he furrows his brow, and says to me, "And when we're done seeing your father, can we go see my father?" I laughed and said that I am his father (which automatically put into my head, "Luke. I . am your father!")...too funny. So he doesn't know the word father. Well, he does now.

And he peed in the potty twice!!!! today. :-) I'm very happy about that. My head is bruised a bit, because he literally likes to butt heads with me. Ugh. But it keeps him on the pot until he's done something. I'm over the crying and the tears and the playing. He did not like naked time, he told me. He'd rather have on his diaper. Well, I said, you're not getting your diaper until you pee in the potty! Yes, it's paradoxical, I know. But it did have its intended impact.

Yesterday I came home to a house full of 4 children, and 1 adult. Jesse (the adult, 22, who watches David EVERY Saturday), and her two nephews (Shawnie and the other little boy whose name I can't remember), and another little girl that she babysits all the time (Madison). It was wonderful, though. I love the activity, and the kids, and everything. We all ate dinner together...and then went next door and I cooked dinner again (now, the first dinner was light: tiny sausages, baked beans, and corn. Enough for the kids, but not for me and Jesse) The second dinner was great! Anna said if I'm willing to cook, I can cook whatever I want! She got me some chicken out of the freezer, and I ended up getting some yellow rice and some peas. What a fine meal we had. All this while 4 children are running amuck. :-) Once David and I got home, he fell to sleep promptly.

So I saw my father. He has very strange bruise on his arm that he claims he got from falling...but I don't think so. It was a short meeting. I don't remember the last time I saw him. He didn't let me in the house because he said Carmen was sick...but I don't know. He also said he'd send me his phone number again, and we'll see. Maybe we'll even get together in a few weeks or so...sigh. We'll see...

David Weekly, #37, Election Edition

This has been a busy week. Saturday night/Sunday morning David wakes up coughing... He tells me he can't sleep, that he has to go pee, and can't. So I ask if he wants to go in the potty...and he does! Amazing! So we go sit on the potty. He was so proud of himself! And happy to get his 5 pieces of candy, which I told him he'd get in the morning. I got some cough medicine, too, which he did take like a champ. He also said he wanted to do a "web(w)eewizer"...so we turn on Charlie Brown to watch while he does this. What a good boy! He's doing all the right things to take care of himself, and letting me take care of him, too.

We did the nebulizer the next few nights after getting home from Dot's, but I gave him the full regimen of cough remedy: cough medicine, nebulizer, and vapo-rub. By Wednesday, we were done with everything. No more coughing. This was replaced by his rather sudden desire to come into my bed at 4 and 5 AM each morning. This has been okay in the past, but lately he's wanting to put his feet on me, or climb on me, or toss and turn, or make noise...no restful, peaceful sleep. And none for me, either. So we've been having some weird fights early in the morning about him either not being in my bed at all, or to lay still and sleep! Either of these rather irritated exhortations from me at way too early in the morning generate louder crying. Poor kid. I wish I knew what was causing this behavior. Ultimately, I've decided to send him back to his bed when he tries to get in mine. I need my sleep! But then he tries to stall and tells me he needs his nebulizer, or he's cold...

Monday and Tuesday I was able to get him to pee in the potty! He would volunteer that he had to go, or was about to, and we would go. And get his 5 pieces of candy. Wednesday this all stopped, and I have no idea why. Sigh. One step forward, and two steps back. We did call Amanda to tell her about how good David did the first time he did it. She was very happy, too.

Tuesday was Election Day, and I voted. I asked Dot to keep him for the almost hour it took to go, vote, and come back. Interestingly, David took the news that he'd be going to Dot's well. He's getting a lot more flexible with changes in his routine. After I picked him up from Dot's that night, he woke up, or didn't fall back asleep, since I was watching election results. By the time Obama was giving his victory speech, David had come into the living room and watched TV with me. When Obama showed up on the TV screen, David immediately knew who it was: "Barak Obama," he says. He didn't quite understand what he was witnessing, but he did sit still for a few minutes watching Obama's speech.

He surprises me from time to time. He says all kinds of things that bowl me over, and that's something I'm not good at doing: keeping track of those cute little things he says.

Wednesday afternoon we were in the back yard, and I heard him playing with language and sounds. I forget exactly what he was saying, but it was two words that began with "B" and he was saying them together just for the sound, because they didn't otherwise go together. He also likes saying "Barak O-bama." I think it's just the sound of it, and the rhythm of it, too. And he knows that Obama is the President (or will be).

Thursday was a "normal" day, school, home, Dot's...home again. He is getting used to the routine in that he's repeating it to me, over and over, actually. Just cementing it in his head.

Friday we went to the zoo after getting our hair cut. Me first, then him. He's getting better at sitting still for his hair cutting. He understands it more.

Some other details...David likes to wake me up after the sun rises, which works out to 7 AM, only because he doesn't wake up earlier. This is different than the problem I talked about above. This morning he woke me up by rubbing noses with me...I'm dead asleep and I feel this kid rubbing his nose on mine. He woke me up yesterday with "Chicka Chicka Boom BOOM!" It seems there's a book out there that A, I don't know about, B, that David seems to know quite well, and C, that he really likes. The funny thing is that you have to insert cheerleader-like motion of his arms pumping left-right for each boom he says. He got this book, and a bunch of others, from a lovely woman out in CA who sent two boxes! One had a few brand new clothing items for him, and the other had new clothes and books in it. But this one book in particular he found in the stack of books I left by his door the night that I opened the boxes (after he was asleep), and used it to wake me up. I asked him how he knew about this book before and he said that Tait read him this book. I have to wonder about the hand/arm motions, though, as this doesn't seem to be the kind of thing I see Tait doing. At random, he was telling me how his name is "TaiT" (emphasis on the final T), and not "Taip". It's also been a few months since he's been there. Maybe it was the phone call to his mom that triggered this memory, and the book, too.

So once again this nation has expressed its will in a peaceful and relatively trouble free way. Obama said that "This is our moment." And it really is. This is our moment to celebrate our nation, and our democracy, which works to some extent, in spite of its flaws. It also renews us in our hopes for the future. I watch David every day, and I think of all the things he could do or be when he grows up, as he does all the little things that a kid does. Each little thing becomes an entire career in my mind: he plays with words, or says "It's a beautiful day." This becomes writer, or weather forecaster. Separately, he figured out how to put the stool by the door to unlock it.

Fall is a time of transition, and as we watch our nation's leadership transition, I know that the challenges we all face can be met with enthusiasm, determination, and hope.

Rusty

Happiness

So David wakes me up this morning by rubbing noses with me. So incredibly cute. He woke me up yesterday with "Chicka Chicka Boom BOOM!" It seems there's a book out there that A, I don't know about, B, that David seems to know quite well, and C, that he really likes. The funny thing is that you have to insert cheerleader-like motion of his arms pumping left-right for each boom he says. He got this book, and a bunch of others, from a lovely woman out in CA who sent two boxes! One had a few brand new clothing items for him, and the other had new clothes and books in it. It also had a perfumed letter in it, just saying hello, and that she likes taking care of us. And I do feel cared about. What a wonderful thing. More importantly, it feels like the first time David's had brand new clothes since he was an infant. Amanda has always bought clothes at the thrift store, or gotten them from Freecycle...so never really anything new. And I've gotten a few hand-me-downs from my sister, too, and then Kelly sent me some stuff from her son, who is now too big for a lot of that stuff. It's nice to have NEW things for David for once. Thank you Michelle.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, David has been waking me up in the middle of the night, though really toward morning, since it's typically 4 or 5 AM when he comes into my bed, but then he makes noises, tosses and turns...and then as soon as it's dawn, not even really light out, he wants me to wake up! And of course, I'm wiped out. We've been having some fights about him staying in his own bed, but he's inventive about why not: I'm cold, he says, or he asks me to cover him up, or whatever he can think of. So I've had to yell at him to stop touching me in the bed...he puts his feet or hands on me in random spots, enough that I'm aware of his presence and so can't sleep...then he cries, waking me up more. It's been a rough week for sleep.

i don't know if i'll ever be rid of the hate
ceilteach79 9:30 AM i just know i don't let it consume me. i can't
sollust1 9:31 AM hate?
ceilteach79 9:31 AM you will always and forever be before anything else the person who took my son from me
ceilteach79 9:31 AM the marriage and divorce are so unimportant next to that
sollust1 9:32 AM yeah, we're going to have to disagree there...
sollust1 9:32 AM you left him here...completely willingly...
ceilteach79 9:33 AM because the state of florida said i must and the lawyer said I would end up throwing $40,000 at it only to lose
ceilteach79 9:34 AM if he had said $40,000 and a chance of winning, even 50/50 I would have thrown $40,000
sollust1 9:34 AM florida did not tell you to leave
sollust1 9:34 AM you went all by yourself
ceilteach79 9:35 AM We're never going to see this the same way
ceilteach79 9:35 AM I've been wanting to leave Florida for years and you know it
ceilteach79 9:35 AM and you played it, saying that you never intended to move, but just talk about it off and on to keep me mollified
sollust1 9:35 AM I know
sollust1 9:35 AM except that i do intend to move
sollust1 9:36 AM I really liked St Louis a lot
ceilteach79 9:36 AM well, there's no sense fighting over any of this
ceilteach79 9:36 AM this is the real pain in the whole thing anyway
sollust1 9:36 AM yeah
ceilteach79 9:37 AM you feel abandoned by me, and that i abandoned david, and i feel like a giant piece of me has been ripped away
sollust1 9:37 AM yeah

Something else I've noticed: David was looking at one of the books we read, and he was saying, "There's the baby, and there's the daddy..." He used to say "the mommy..."

Doing what he ought

So it's 1 AM, and I get awakened by a coughing little boy. He tells me he can't sleep, that he has to go pee, and can't. So I ask if he wants to go in the potty...and he does! Amazing! So we go sit on the potty. I'm honestly not sure if he peed, or if I did and didn't flush the toilet earlier, but I gave him credit for doing it. He was so proud of himself! And happy to get his 5 pieces of candy, which I told him he'd get in the morning. The reason I'm not sure if he peed is because I went to get a dose of cough medicine for him...which he did take like a champ. He also said he wanted to do a "web(w)eewizer"...so we turn on Charlie Brown to watch while he does this. What a good boy! He's doing all the right things to take care of himself, and letting me take care of him, too.