What are the simplest ways to make the co-parenting situation work?
I don't think that co-parenting is going to happen with us. She's in Missouri, and I'm in Florida. DS is 2 and a half, and he knows her voice on the phone: I call her on my cell, put it on speaker, and he carries the phone around with him. She doesn't talk much to him, and I try to get her to talk to me, just so he can hear her voice...I have to call her, though. If I didn't, she'd never hear his voice, either. She's called me all of twice. This is in the almost 4 months since she left. I also send out a weekly 'newsletter' that gives as many observations about him as I can think of for the week...My lawyer said the phone calls and newsletter will be good if she ever tries to get custody...part of me thinks she doesn't really want it anyway, since she gave it up so easily.
How difficult is it to come to a common ground on visitation that is appropriate and sufficient?
For us, it wasn't difficult. We figured it out in mediation. Strangely, I'm supposed to pay for half the transport cost for the short visits, like 4 day weekends, and she pays the cost of the longer visits. But already we're deviating from that, since I'm paying to fly with him up there, and she's paying to fly back with him, and he'll be there for about 2 weeks. Sufficient visitation would be that she didn't leave the state at all, and had stayed here! I sometimes wrestle with the notion that I should move up there to allow him to be closer to his mother for visitation reasons...
If the other parent has other children that live in their same state, do you/did you feel that there was a definate difference in the way they were treated in comparison to your child(ren)?
My ex-step-daughter, who I helped raise from the time she was 3 until 7 years old, lives with her mom in MO. I know that she's regressed since being up there, since she was a terrible discipline problem, until I did some stuff I never heard of that I read in a book. She finally got some self control and friends, and a life, and then her mother rips her away from me (I really bonded with this little girl, too, sniff!). So yeah, I know that ex-step-daughter isn't doing as well now that she's away from ME! I was a good thing in her life, and because I didn't cause her to come into being, I can't keep her. I really miss her. My mom gave me some pics we had done over Christmas, and I can't look at them without bawling. It's especially hard lately, since DS says, "Sissy go. Mommie go," over and over. He just says it matter-of-factly, but still. I just say, "Yeah, you'll see them soon."
1 comment:
Hey Rusty! I didn't know you had an ex-stepdaughter. Out of curiosity, have you looked into the legal stuff there thoroughly? I know for certain that if you lived here you would have ample right to request visitation. You must miss her so very much, and it must also hurt that your ex would take her and not seem to want the son she had with you.
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