What have I let go since my divorce? Dirty dishes get done more often, the floors are cleaner, the laundry is done more often, the yard is looking better...I let go of a lot of negativity that was preventing me from doing things I wanted/needed to do. I've let go of a weight around my neck that kept me from writing wonderful things, having friends, going places, doing things.
I dealt with a spouse who wouldn't clean, but made a mess, who was mad at me for not being inside, who was mad at me for not being outside (whatever I did it was wrong), who wanted me to parent the kids all the time while she was reading yet another book!...she did do laundry some times, but that was her biggest contribution.
I have to say I miss "the critic" though, because she would tell me what I was doing wrong in terms of my parenting, and I became an even better parent as a result. But it turns out I can learn things on my own, and my son will still be okay! So I've let go of 'the critic', too.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
David Weekly #12
David had a rough weekend this past week. He was very sick. He threw up a lot! He would be fine for while, then suddenly just vomit everywhere! It started on Friday morning before Easter, and didn't really finish until Tuesday. The problem, too, is that he was off and on. Easter morning, and most of the day he was fine, but he threw up again Sunday night. But then I got sick on Tuesday, and David hated it, because I turned into a bit of blob...he wanted me to do stuff with him, but I just couldn't. It scared him when I threw up into the toilet, because it's a noisy affair with me. But it didn't last long, fortunately. Sorry for the TMI (too much information), but it's something that he experienced...
Today's grammar lesson is 'apositive phrase' and means a word like, "too" or "again", usually at the end of a sentence. David can now say things like, "Do it again!" or "The other cat is eating, too!" It has other meanings, too, but it's important to note his growing use of English in a way that only a native speaker would know. He has a firmer conceptual grasp of some things, which is really cool to watch. He called the cats "Cat 1" and "Cat 2" the other day. And he says the cat's name, "Pockets", very clearly. In fact, his speech is getting more and more clear. He's also figuring our plurals vs singulars, and possessives (David's, Daddy's, e.g. "Daddy's car!"). Tuesday I called in to work because of how I was feeling, and at some point later in the day we were outside, and I felt I saw him 'grow' mentally, because there was a global change to his understanding and interaction with the world, but it's hard to describe. He just seemed to understand so much more, and make more sense out of things than even a minute before. He went from calling a cup a "bup" to calling it a 'cup'.
For naptime lately, rather than go to sleep in his bed, he wants to go to sleep in my bed. So I let him, but then later I find him asleep in his own bed. He goes down very willingly now, and easily. Our routine is working out well.
We went to the Library on Wednesday. They have a reading time every week for toddlers his age, and I got some ideas on books to get for him to read. He was very good in the library, too, since when I told him to whisper (in a whisper voice) he imitated me and whispered. We wandered around the library for a while, and left without getting anything, but I have a much better idea of the kinds of books he needs for his level of development: picture books with single sentences. Next Wednesday, we'll go for "Toddler Time", which is a 15 - 20 minute reading group. We just missed it when we were there before.
He can say his own name now: "Day-Did!" I think he's figured out "big" and "little" because big things are the "mommie" and little things are the "baby" but only when seen together. For example, we have a large peanut butter jar for me (the chunky), and a smaller one for David, which he calls the "mommie pea-bu-er" and the the "baby pea-bu-er" and the de-yee, which sounds close enough to me to 'daddy' that I can't tell at first if he's calling me, or just saying "Jelly!"
Today (Friday), we were outside, and playing with some of the neighborhood kids, I saw some more of David that I wouldn't have seen otherwise: he gets the idea of 'turns' but only in the context that it's always his turn! "Day-did's turn!" he says...it was very frustrating for him when the other kids would have a turn with the "Dowa ball". He always wanted it for himself. He also surprised me that he knows "hide and seek", because he said the name, stood against the big oak tree in my front yard, closed his eyes, and counted! Now, it wasn't actual counting, because he does count things that he can see, but just counting as a measure of time -- he's not there yet. Anyway, he made some kind act like he was counting, and then they played chase.
I told the brother and sister from across the street that they can speak in Spanish around David if they choose, since it will be good for him. Colleen used to go over there, and I could tell she was learning Spanish just by being around it, as she would come home and say a word or two in Spanish. I'm sure at David's age, he'll learn it more, and more quickly.
Here's a couple of pictures of David. I'm thinking about trying to include one every week, but that may be too much. Feedback on this is appreciated. If you'd like larger, better images, let me know. We took these two photos (and a few others, but these are the best) this morning. He's quite a model. He enjoyed getting the picture taken then looking at the result.
Finally, here's an essay I wrote about my experience with David and his throwing up episode. Until this weekend, he'd never really vomited before (there was one time in Cracker Barrel about a year ago (?), but that was a different experience because he wasn't sick). So I wrote a little essay. I hope you enjoy it.
------------------
(Imagine sitting in class, lots of chairs, other people, board up front, and a dour looking professor type walks in)
"Welcome to Child Vomit 101. I'm sure many of you here are parents, or will be parents in the coming months. As I'm also sure you are aware, children will throw up, and it will not be pretty, in spite of a few names for vomit, like 'technicolor yawn' or 'praying to the porcelain god, at the porcelain altar.' If you remember these names from college (or high school, for some of you) [now some people are laughing quietly in the background], you are not alone. At least you had the benefit of someone holding your head as you let loose in the toilet, or had friends get upset with you for yakkin' on the floorboard of their car.
"Your children, on the other hand, will vomit just about anywhere! You may or may not be prepared for this. They will vomit in the grocery store just after drinking down a cherry red slushie, and then scream loudly about how it's not pleasant. YOU will have to deal with this! Oh the terror of red-slushie puke everywhere. But you must remain calm, get the handy wipes you keep with you out, and hope the staff comes running! The best you can do is wipe the child's mouth and face, and try to maintain some dignity as you walk out of the store with a screaming child. If you were lucky, you didn't get any on you. But, as you will no doubt discover, because of the sudden nature of these violent vomit attacks, you will have some on you, somewhere, and it will smell.
"You must be prepared for these attacks day or night! As you go through your child's infancy, you have certainly been awakened by a screaming, hungry child. Vomiting children are no different! If you are lucky, they will scream and tell you they are nauseated before vomiting (and hopefully you won't get nauseous). You will then have time to move the child, and yourself, to the bathroom before the event. The child will occasionally let you know that he or she is about to begin selling buicks. Hand motions to the mouth, accompanied by unhappy screaming, usually indicate some kind of 'reverse digestion' event. If you are unlucky, you will be awakened by a vomit covered child, which will require at least a three step cleaning process: the child in the bathroom (with bath and new clothes), the child's bedding, and finally, yourself, because there's almost no way you can avoid getting sticky, smelly, icky [shudder] liquidy stuff on you because you are comforting a screaming, sickly child.
"Your reward for remaining calm, and not being angry at the child for not being considerate or knowledgeable enough to not vomit on your carpet or clothes? Sleep! Great stories later in his or her life, when the child is dating! An interesting lecture from your child on 'frow up' as he or she tries to understand the vocabulary, and context of what just happened. That's actually pretty funny!
"Ladies and Gentlemen, make sure you have your cleaning supplies at the ready! For your educational pleasure we have brought in a video from 'America's Funniest Home Videos' just to show you how often and unexpectedly small children vomit."
Hope you enjoyed the lecture from the missing manual of parenting. :-)
Today's grammar lesson is 'apositive phrase' and means a word like, "too" or "again", usually at the end of a sentence. David can now say things like, "Do it again!" or "The other cat is eating, too!" It has other meanings, too, but it's important to note his growing use of English in a way that only a native speaker would know. He has a firmer conceptual grasp of some things, which is really cool to watch. He called the cats "Cat 1" and "Cat 2" the other day. And he says the cat's name, "Pockets", very clearly. In fact, his speech is getting more and more clear. He's also figuring our plurals vs singulars, and possessives (David's, Daddy's, e.g. "Daddy's car!"). Tuesday I called in to work because of how I was feeling, and at some point later in the day we were outside, and I felt I saw him 'grow' mentally, because there was a global change to his understanding and interaction with the world, but it's hard to describe. He just seemed to understand so much more, and make more sense out of things than even a minute before. He went from calling a cup a "bup" to calling it a 'cup'.
For naptime lately, rather than go to sleep in his bed, he wants to go to sleep in my bed. So I let him, but then later I find him asleep in his own bed. He goes down very willingly now, and easily. Our routine is working out well.
We went to the Library on Wednesday. They have a reading time every week for toddlers his age, and I got some ideas on books to get for him to read. He was very good in the library, too, since when I told him to whisper (in a whisper voice) he imitated me and whispered. We wandered around the library for a while, and left without getting anything, but I have a much better idea of the kinds of books he needs for his level of development: picture books with single sentences. Next Wednesday, we'll go for "Toddler Time", which is a 15 - 20 minute reading group. We just missed it when we were there before.
He can say his own name now: "Day-Did!" I think he's figured out "big" and "little" because big things are the "mommie" and little things are the "baby" but only when seen together. For example, we have a large peanut butter jar for me (the chunky), and a smaller one for David, which he calls the "mommie pea-bu-er" and the the "baby pea-bu-er" and the de-yee, which sounds close enough to me to 'daddy' that I can't tell at first if he's calling me, or just saying "Jelly!"
Today (Friday), we were outside, and playing with some of the neighborhood kids, I saw some more of David that I wouldn't have seen otherwise: he gets the idea of 'turns' but only in the context that it's always his turn! "Day-did's turn!" he says...it was very frustrating for him when the other kids would have a turn with the "Dowa ball". He always wanted it for himself. He also surprised me that he knows "hide and seek", because he said the name, stood against the big oak tree in my front yard, closed his eyes, and counted! Now, it wasn't actual counting, because he does count things that he can see, but just counting as a measure of time -- he's not there yet. Anyway, he made some kind act like he was counting, and then they played chase.
I told the brother and sister from across the street that they can speak in Spanish around David if they choose, since it will be good for him. Colleen used to go over there, and I could tell she was learning Spanish just by being around it, as she would come home and say a word or two in Spanish. I'm sure at David's age, he'll learn it more, and more quickly.
Here's a couple of pictures of David. I'm thinking about trying to include one every week, but that may be too much. Feedback on this is appreciated. If you'd like larger, better images, let me know. We took these two photos (and a few others, but these are the best) this morning. He's quite a model. He enjoyed getting the picture taken then looking at the result.
Finally, here's an essay I wrote about my experience with David and his throwing up episode. Until this weekend, he'd never really vomited before (there was one time in Cracker Barrel about a year ago (?), but that was a different experience because he wasn't sick). So I wrote a little essay. I hope you enjoy it.
------------------
(Imagine sitting in class, lots of chairs, other people, board up front, and a dour looking professor type walks in)
"Welcome to Child Vomit 101. I'm sure many of you here are parents, or will be parents in the coming months. As I'm also sure you are aware, children will throw up, and it will not be pretty, in spite of a few names for vomit, like 'technicolor yawn' or 'praying to the porcelain god, at the porcelain altar.' If you remember these names from college (or high school, for some of you) [now some people are laughing quietly in the background], you are not alone. At least you had the benefit of someone holding your head as you let loose in the toilet, or had friends get upset with you for yakkin' on the floorboard of their car.
"Your children, on the other hand, will vomit just about anywhere! You may or may not be prepared for this. They will vomit in the grocery store just after drinking down a cherry red slushie, and then scream loudly about how it's not pleasant. YOU will have to deal with this! Oh the terror of red-slushie puke everywhere. But you must remain calm, get the handy wipes you keep with you out, and hope the staff comes running! The best you can do is wipe the child's mouth and face, and try to maintain some dignity as you walk out of the store with a screaming child. If you were lucky, you didn't get any on you. But, as you will no doubt discover, because of the sudden nature of these violent vomit attacks, you will have some on you, somewhere, and it will smell.
"You must be prepared for these attacks day or night! As you go through your child's infancy, you have certainly been awakened by a screaming, hungry child. Vomiting children are no different! If you are lucky, they will scream and tell you they are nauseated before vomiting (and hopefully you won't get nauseous). You will then have time to move the child, and yourself, to the bathroom before the event. The child will occasionally let you know that he or she is about to begin selling buicks. Hand motions to the mouth, accompanied by unhappy screaming, usually indicate some kind of 'reverse digestion' event. If you are unlucky, you will be awakened by a vomit covered child, which will require at least a three step cleaning process: the child in the bathroom (with bath and new clothes), the child's bedding, and finally, yourself, because there's almost no way you can avoid getting sticky, smelly, icky [shudder] liquidy stuff on you because you are comforting a screaming, sickly child.
"Your reward for remaining calm, and not being angry at the child for not being considerate or knowledgeable enough to not vomit on your carpet or clothes? Sleep! Great stories later in his or her life, when the child is dating! An interesting lecture from your child on 'frow up' as he or she tries to understand the vocabulary, and context of what just happened. That's actually pretty funny!
"Ladies and Gentlemen, make sure you have your cleaning supplies at the ready! For your educational pleasure we have brought in a video from 'America's Funniest Home Videos' just to show you how often and unexpectedly small children vomit."
Hope you enjoyed the lecture from the missing manual of parenting. :-)
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Long Distance Parenting
What are the simplest ways to make the co-parenting situation work?
I don't think that co-parenting is going to happen with us. She's in Missouri, and I'm in Florida. DS is 2 and a half, and he knows her voice on the phone: I call her on my cell, put it on speaker, and he carries the phone around with him. She doesn't talk much to him, and I try to get her to talk to me, just so he can hear her voice...I have to call her, though. If I didn't, she'd never hear his voice, either. She's called me all of twice. This is in the almost 4 months since she left. I also send out a weekly 'newsletter' that gives as many observations about him as I can think of for the week...My lawyer said the phone calls and newsletter will be good if she ever tries to get custody...part of me thinks she doesn't really want it anyway, since she gave it up so easily.
How difficult is it to come to a common ground on visitation that is appropriate and sufficient?
For us, it wasn't difficult. We figured it out in mediation. Strangely, I'm supposed to pay for half the transport cost for the short visits, like 4 day weekends, and she pays the cost of the longer visits. But already we're deviating from that, since I'm paying to fly with him up there, and she's paying to fly back with him, and he'll be there for about 2 weeks. Sufficient visitation would be that she didn't leave the state at all, and had stayed here! I sometimes wrestle with the notion that I should move up there to allow him to be closer to his mother for visitation reasons...
If the other parent has other children that live in their same state, do you/did you feel that there was a definate difference in the way they were treated in comparison to your child(ren)?
My ex-step-daughter, who I helped raise from the time she was 3 until 7 years old, lives with her mom in MO. I know that she's regressed since being up there, since she was a terrible discipline problem, until I did some stuff I never heard of that I read in a book. She finally got some self control and friends, and a life, and then her mother rips her away from me (I really bonded with this little girl, too, sniff!). So yeah, I know that ex-step-daughter isn't doing as well now that she's away from ME! I was a good thing in her life, and because I didn't cause her to come into being, I can't keep her. I really miss her. My mom gave me some pics we had done over Christmas, and I can't look at them without bawling. It's especially hard lately, since DS says, "Sissy go. Mommie go," over and over. He just says it matter-of-factly, but still. I just say, "Yeah, you'll see them soon."
Bite Me
Bite me XW: I'm the one who first heard our DS say his colors, and he only recently learned how to say "blue" as "buer", rather than "boo", which is what you said he said in December. He didn't used to say 'blue' at all, in any form.
That just makes me mad.
That just makes me mad.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Reasons I'm cool
1. I'm cool because I don't use my single-parenthood as a cruch to get special favors or help.
2. I'm cool because my son can see me cry.
3. I'm cool because I make myself cry when I think about writing this stuff! (ok, maybe I'm oversensitive! :-)
3. I can count.
4. I can write funny posts about the not-so-great things that happen in my life, like child vomit.
5. I really can manage on my own, in spite of what the XW said when we were getting divorced, and I can do it well.
6. My house is cleaner since I've been a single parent.
7. My son really loves me. He didn't suffer when XW moved 15 hours drive away, because I have been and always will be his primary care parent.
8. I'm cool because I'm the father I never had to my son.
9. I'm cool because I post here, in this forum, reasons that I'm cool.
10. I'm cool because I can 'meta-think'...
11. I know when to stop, because I could probably do this for a while!
2. I'm cool because my son can see me cry.
3. I'm cool because I make myself cry when I think about writing this stuff! (ok, maybe I'm oversensitive! :-)
3. I can count.
4. I can write funny posts about the not-so-great things that happen in my life, like child vomit.
5. I really can manage on my own, in spite of what the XW said when we were getting divorced, and I can do it well.
6. My house is cleaner since I've been a single parent.
7. My son really loves me. He didn't suffer when XW moved 15 hours drive away, because I have been and always will be his primary care parent.
8. I'm cool because I'm the father I never had to my son.
9. I'm cool because I post here, in this forum, reasons that I'm cool.
10. I'm cool because I can 'meta-think'...
11. I know when to stop, because I could probably do this for a while!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Child Vomit 101
(Imagine sitting in class, lots of chairs, other people, board up front, and a dour looking professor type walks in)
"Welcome to Child Vomit 101. I'm sure many of you here are parents, or will be parents in the coming months. As I'm also sure you are aware, children will throw up, and it will not be pretty, in spite of a few names for vomit, like 'technicolor yawn' or 'praying to the porcelain god, at the porcelain altar.' If you remember these names from college (or high school, for some of you) [now some people are laughing quietly in the background], you are not alone. At least you had the benefit of someone holding your head as you let loose in the toilet, or had friends get upset with you for yakkin' on the floorboard of their car.
"Your children, on the other hand, will vomit just about anywhere! You may or may not be prepared for this. They will vomit in the grocery store just after drinking down a cherry red slushie, and then scream loudly about how it's not pleasant. YOU will have to deal with this! Oh the terror of red-slushie puke everywhere. But you must remain calm, get the handy wipes you keep with you out, and hope the staff comes running! The best you can do is wipe the child's mouth and face, and try to maintain some dignity as you walk out of the store with a screaming child. If you were lucky, you didn't get any on you. But, as you will no doubt discover, because of the sudden nature of these violent vomit attacks, you will have some on you, somewhere, and it will smell.
"You must be prepared for these attacks day or night! As you go through your child's infancy, you have certainly been awakened by a screaming, hungry child. Vomiting children are no different! If you are lucky, they will scream and tell you they are nauseated before vomiting (and hopefully you won't get nauseous). You will then have time to move the child, and yourself, to the bathroom before the event. The child will occasionally let you know that he or she is about to begin selling buicks. Hand motions to the mouth, accompanied by unhappy screaming, usually indicate some kind of 'reverse digestion' event. If you are unlucky, you will be awakened by a vomit covered child, which will require at least a three step cleaning process: the child in the bathroom (with bath and new clothes), the child's bedding, and finally, yourself, because there's almost no way you can avoid getting sticky, smelly, icky [shudder] liquidy stuff on you because you are comforting a screaming, sickly child.
"Your reward for remaining calm, and not being angry at the child for not being considerate or knowledgeable enough to not vomit on your carpet or clothes? Sleep! Great stories later in his or her life, when the child is dating! An interesting lecture from your child on 'frow up' as he or she tries to understand the vocabulary, and context of what just happened. That's actually pretty funny!
"Ladies and Gentlemen, make sure you have your cleaning supplies at the ready! For your educational pleasure we have brought in a video from 'America's Funniest Home Videos' just to show you how often and unexpectedly small children vomit."
Hope you enjoyed the lecture from the missing manual of parenting. :-)
"Welcome to Child Vomit 101. I'm sure many of you here are parents, or will be parents in the coming months. As I'm also sure you are aware, children will throw up, and it will not be pretty, in spite of a few names for vomit, like 'technicolor yawn' or 'praying to the porcelain god, at the porcelain altar.' If you remember these names from college (or high school, for some of you) [now some people are laughing quietly in the background], you are not alone. At least you had the benefit of someone holding your head as you let loose in the toilet, or had friends get upset with you for yakkin' on the floorboard of their car.
"Your children, on the other hand, will vomit just about anywhere! You may or may not be prepared for this. They will vomit in the grocery store just after drinking down a cherry red slushie, and then scream loudly about how it's not pleasant. YOU will have to deal with this! Oh the terror of red-slushie puke everywhere. But you must remain calm, get the handy wipes you keep with you out, and hope the staff comes running! The best you can do is wipe the child's mouth and face, and try to maintain some dignity as you walk out of the store with a screaming child. If you were lucky, you didn't get any on you. But, as you will no doubt discover, because of the sudden nature of these violent vomit attacks, you will have some on you, somewhere, and it will smell.
"You must be prepared for these attacks day or night! As you go through your child's infancy, you have certainly been awakened by a screaming, hungry child. Vomiting children are no different! If you are lucky, they will scream and tell you they are nauseated before vomiting (and hopefully you won't get nauseous). You will then have time to move the child, and yourself, to the bathroom before the event. The child will occasionally let you know that he or she is about to begin selling buicks. Hand motions to the mouth, accompanied by unhappy screaming, usually indicate some kind of 'reverse digestion' event. If you are unlucky, you will be awakened by a vomit covered child, which will require at least a three step cleaning process: the child in the bathroom (with bath and new clothes), the child's bedding, and finally, yourself, because there's almost no way you can avoid getting sticky, smelly, icky [shudder] liquidy stuff on you because you are comforting a screaming, sickly child.
"Your reward for remaining calm, and not being angry at the child for not being considerate or knowledgeable enough to not vomit on your carpet or clothes? Sleep! Great stories later in his or her life, when the child is dating! An interesting lecture from your child on 'frow up' as he or she tries to understand the vocabulary, and context of what just happened. That's actually pretty funny!
"Ladies and Gentlemen, make sure you have your cleaning supplies at the ready! For your educational pleasure we have brought in a video from 'America's Funniest Home Videos' just to show you how often and unexpectedly small children vomit."
Hope you enjoyed the lecture from the missing manual of parenting. :-)
Friday, March 21, 2008
New Schedule, Part II
So I'm on my new schedule now for 2 weeks...and it's working out sooo much better than I thought it would! The babysitter who had him before is good with the new hours, so I take him there at 2:30 or so, and get him about 11:30 or so...he makes a great transition from her house to mine. He eats better for me in the morning and afternoon than at night. We have a lot more time to play, and do things together, and I have time to do stuff in the yard, and I go to work energized because I got stuff done at home and played w/ DS. And had a nap.
It's hard waking up in the morning because DS likes to wake me up by fast panting at me...it's funny how he does it. I don't go to bed *very* late, so having the nap helps.
We're getting adjusted. I just want to say thank you to all that gave me encouragement, and said good things...(and none said anything bad! :-) It really helped a lot.
I love having this extra time with him. We can take our time about getting the day started, we eat a good breakfast, do stuff in the yard (both work and play), have a decent lunch, a nap...I get more time with him when he's awake, and there's no dreaded rush element to our time together. We still follow a schedule, but for me, it's not so bad that I don't have a deadline to meet for bedtime, or dinner, or bathtime, or any of the other stuff. We go through our days without a care in the world...I do work one day from 8 - 4, which gives me three nights with him as well.
So things are good!
It's hard waking up in the morning because DS likes to wake me up by fast panting at me...it's funny how he does it. I don't go to bed *very* late, so having the nap helps.
We're getting adjusted. I just want to say thank you to all that gave me encouragement, and said good things...(and none said anything bad! :-) It really helped a lot.
I love having this extra time with him. We can take our time about getting the day started, we eat a good breakfast, do stuff in the yard (both work and play), have a decent lunch, a nap...I get more time with him when he's awake, and there's no dreaded rush element to our time together. We still follow a schedule, but for me, it's not so bad that I don't have a deadline to meet for bedtime, or dinner, or bathtime, or any of the other stuff. We go through our days without a care in the world...I do work one day from 8 - 4, which gives me three nights with him as well.
So things are good!
David Weekly #11
Hello...this week has been busy!
I took David to the airport on Sunday afternoon. He is quite an attention getter! He didn't like the airplanes up close as much as I thought he would…we can go up on the roof of the parking lot and watch the planes take off and land…he likes planes in the sky when we go for a walk, and he loved seeing the rainbow in the sky the other day, but up close…not so much. We went into the terminal to get him some sunglasses, and I asked the cashier for "sunglasses for the boy." David heard this, so then he repeated it over and over, and now, they're not sunglasses, but sunglasses-for-the-boy. When we were walking through the terminal, lots of people commented on how cute he is, especially with his sunglasses. We had a great time!
Then, on the way back, he fell asleep in the car.
Last week I didn't make it very clear about David's transitions...he goes to Dot's house at about 2:30 or so, and I pick him up from her house at about 11:20. I put him in my car, and then we go home, and he gets in bed, and goes back to sleep. Sometimes he whispers at me to get his "baa - dee" (blanket), and I do. Monday night he wanted to make sure I didn't forget his shoes. By Tuesday of this week, David had adjusted to his new schedule. He went to Dot's just fine, and without argument.
Lately, David is testing boundaries. The other day we were playing in the driveway, and I told him not to go in the street. So he deliberately defied me by putting the toe of his shoe over the line between the driveway and the street. He went into timeout so fast his head spun! He doesn't like to have to go inside if he's outside, and timeout is worse! So that was a double whammy. He paid better attention to where he was and the things I said after that.
David has discovered the joys of peanut butter and jelly. He likes peanut butter better than jelly. Amanda tells me that when he and Colleen get together, they'll have a complete sandwich! I cut the sandwich into quarters for him, but because he can't see the peanut butter, I slather some on the edges of each quarter, which makes him happy. Then he'll eat it. And he likes to repeat 'peabu-er eyyee' over and over when he's eating. It's very cute.
We still spend lots of time outside in the yard, both playing and doing yard maintenance. When we're out there, David likes to excercise his vocabulary...telling me about his hands, feet, knees, etc...
Our days have changed, as I've said. So our new schedule is something like this: David usually wakes me up now, and usually by panting excitedly at me. If I don't move soon enough for him, he gets on the bed and rolls on me, or generally makes it clear I should get up! It's about 7:30 or so in the morning when this happens. I'm still conflicted about giving him naps or not, because this affects when he wakes up in the morning. Dot says that he's fallen asleep in his high-chair at her house more than once since we've been on the new schedule. But he's a bit more difficult to manage without the nap, but with that in mind, he does go to sleep sooner after I put him to bed, rather than laying in bed and playing until 10 or 11 PM. Dot says she has no trouble getting him to go to sleep at her house.
On Wednesday, David made a friend with the next door neighbor. My neighbor has two boys, one a bit older than David, maybe by about 6 months, because he is only a little more intelligible than David is when he talks, and is a bit bigger. We met because we were outside at the same time as the little boy and his father were outside. The little boy's name is Jah (short for something I don't remember), and they had fun playing together. I'm glad to know this other little boy is over there, because it will give David someone to play with during the day.
I feed him breakfast, usually oatmeal or scrambled eggs and toast, and fruit. After breakfast we go outside, with me doing some kind of yardwork project, and him playing, until he gets me to play with him. We're then back in the house by 11 or 12, we eat lunch, which is a variety of things...or PB&J...then it's nap time for both of us, since I need a bit more sleep since I'm just short of what I need when he wakes me up in the morning. Then off to Dot's. I throw a bath in there about every other day after we come inside.
Today (Friday), he woke me up at 5 AM or so, not feeling well. At some point this morning he threw up! But it was clear, and then he acted like he felt better, so no big deal, right? I went to take him to get pictures of him with the Easter Bunny and his cousins Jared and Avery (he knows their names and can say them if asked, but calls Jared "my boy" and Avery "mom" and Rachel by her name -- Amanda, by the way, is "Mommie"), but he wasn't having it! So no pictures of David and Easter Bunny. :-( We then went to the grocery store. And he threw up! And it was a lot! It got on my clothes, and my shoes, and his clothes and in my ear...so we went home after a big scene in the grocery store. On the way home, he kept repeating 'throw up' over and over. Even this new, unpleasant experience for him was interesting enough to him that he was repeating it over and over. LOL When we got home, I gave him a bath, and myself a quick rinse in the shower and then we sat in front of the TV for a while with him on my lap. He asked me for a juicebox, so I gave him one. He seemed better. But then, he showed me his mouth like there was something in it...I now know that this is when he feels like he's going to throw up. Because most of the juicebox made a return trip...ick. More cleaning to be done. I put him down for a nap in spite of his protests, and he went to sleep pretty quick. He seems to be feeling better as I write this tonight.
As I review this rather long post, I see that I haven't really read any books to David in a while. So I'll have to add that to our schedule. I also want to make sure he doesn't associate reading a book with naps or going to bed time...so this is a good opportunity for him to realize that reading can happen at any time. I will take him to the library to do some reading there this coming week, and see what kinds of programs they have...and what are appropriate for his age, since I think he's getting tired of the Foot Book, and a few of the others that we've been reading for the last few months.
One last thing: David is aware the Colleen and Amanda are gone, because he says it: "Mommie gone. Deeddie gone." and I repeat it back to him. He doesn't really have a lot of emotion to his voice, because he's just stating a fact. I don't know what else to say to him. I've had a few photos of him and Amanda and Colleen made up and framed, so now he wakes me up sometimes holding a picture of him and Amanda and Colleen in it, and showing it to me. Other times he just points them out in the picture, saying "Diddee" or "Mommie"...
I took David to the airport on Sunday afternoon. He is quite an attention getter! He didn't like the airplanes up close as much as I thought he would…we can go up on the roof of the parking lot and watch the planes take off and land…he likes planes in the sky when we go for a walk, and he loved seeing the rainbow in the sky the other day, but up close…not so much. We went into the terminal to get him some sunglasses, and I asked the cashier for "sunglasses for the boy." David heard this, so then he repeated it over and over, and now, they're not sunglasses, but sunglasses-for-the-boy. When we were walking through the terminal, lots of people commented on how cute he is, especially with his sunglasses. We had a great time!
Then, on the way back, he fell asleep in the car.
Last week I didn't make it very clear about David's transitions...he goes to Dot's house at about 2:30 or so, and I pick him up from her house at about 11:20. I put him in my car, and then we go home, and he gets in bed, and goes back to sleep. Sometimes he whispers at me to get his "baa - dee" (blanket), and I do. Monday night he wanted to make sure I didn't forget his shoes. By Tuesday of this week, David had adjusted to his new schedule. He went to Dot's just fine, and without argument.
Lately, David is testing boundaries. The other day we were playing in the driveway, and I told him not to go in the street. So he deliberately defied me by putting the toe of his shoe over the line between the driveway and the street. He went into timeout so fast his head spun! He doesn't like to have to go inside if he's outside, and timeout is worse! So that was a double whammy. He paid better attention to where he was and the things I said after that.
David has discovered the joys of peanut butter and jelly. He likes peanut butter better than jelly. Amanda tells me that when he and Colleen get together, they'll have a complete sandwich! I cut the sandwich into quarters for him, but because he can't see the peanut butter, I slather some on the edges of each quarter, which makes him happy. Then he'll eat it. And he likes to repeat 'peabu-er eyyee' over and over when he's eating. It's very cute.
We still spend lots of time outside in the yard, both playing and doing yard maintenance. When we're out there, David likes to excercise his vocabulary...telling me about his hands, feet, knees, etc...
Our days have changed, as I've said. So our new schedule is something like this: David usually wakes me up now, and usually by panting excitedly at me. If I don't move soon enough for him, he gets on the bed and rolls on me, or generally makes it clear I should get up! It's about 7:30 or so in the morning when this happens. I'm still conflicted about giving him naps or not, because this affects when he wakes up in the morning. Dot says that he's fallen asleep in his high-chair at her house more than once since we've been on the new schedule. But he's a bit more difficult to manage without the nap, but with that in mind, he does go to sleep sooner after I put him to bed, rather than laying in bed and playing until 10 or 11 PM. Dot says she has no trouble getting him to go to sleep at her house.
On Wednesday, David made a friend with the next door neighbor. My neighbor has two boys, one a bit older than David, maybe by about 6 months, because he is only a little more intelligible than David is when he talks, and is a bit bigger. We met because we were outside at the same time as the little boy and his father were outside. The little boy's name is Jah (short for something I don't remember), and they had fun playing together. I'm glad to know this other little boy is over there, because it will give David someone to play with during the day.
I feed him breakfast, usually oatmeal or scrambled eggs and toast, and fruit. After breakfast we go outside, with me doing some kind of yardwork project, and him playing, until he gets me to play with him. We're then back in the house by 11 or 12, we eat lunch, which is a variety of things...or PB&J...then it's nap time for both of us, since I need a bit more sleep since I'm just short of what I need when he wakes me up in the morning. Then off to Dot's. I throw a bath in there about every other day after we come inside.
Today (Friday), he woke me up at 5 AM or so, not feeling well. At some point this morning he threw up! But it was clear, and then he acted like he felt better, so no big deal, right? I went to take him to get pictures of him with the Easter Bunny and his cousins Jared and Avery (he knows their names and can say them if asked, but calls Jared "my boy" and Avery "mom" and Rachel by her name -- Amanda, by the way, is "Mommie"), but he wasn't having it! So no pictures of David and Easter Bunny. :-( We then went to the grocery store. And he threw up! And it was a lot! It got on my clothes, and my shoes, and his clothes and in my ear...so we went home after a big scene in the grocery store. On the way home, he kept repeating 'throw up' over and over. Even this new, unpleasant experience for him was interesting enough to him that he was repeating it over and over. LOL When we got home, I gave him a bath, and myself a quick rinse in the shower and then we sat in front of the TV for a while with him on my lap. He asked me for a juicebox, so I gave him one. He seemed better. But then, he showed me his mouth like there was something in it...I now know that this is when he feels like he's going to throw up. Because most of the juicebox made a return trip...ick. More cleaning to be done. I put him down for a nap in spite of his protests, and he went to sleep pretty quick. He seems to be feeling better as I write this tonight.
As I review this rather long post, I see that I haven't really read any books to David in a while. So I'll have to add that to our schedule. I also want to make sure he doesn't associate reading a book with naps or going to bed time...so this is a good opportunity for him to realize that reading can happen at any time. I will take him to the library to do some reading there this coming week, and see what kinds of programs they have...and what are appropriate for his age, since I think he's getting tired of the Foot Book, and a few of the others that we've been reading for the last few months.
One last thing: David is aware the Colleen and Amanda are gone, because he says it: "Mommie gone. Deeddie gone." and I repeat it back to him. He doesn't really have a lot of emotion to his voice, because he's just stating a fact. I don't know what else to say to him. I've had a few photos of him and Amanda and Colleen made up and framed, so now he wakes me up sometimes holding a picture of him and Amanda and Colleen in it, and showing it to me. Other times he just points them out in the picture, saying "Diddee" or "Mommie"...
Monday, March 17, 2008
Things you do for your kids
I would like everyone to know that I spent half the night with a sick, stuffed up kid. He just wanted comforting because he could not breathe through his nose. I rubbed vicks on his chest, sat/slept upright holding him, using the bulb-thingie to suck snot out of his nose, and he wouldn't let me stop. Eventually, put the vaporizer/humidifier on, and that helped. But it took several hours of holding and bulbing, and etc...
I have lost sleep, and I have no one to tell, or share the experience! And I'm mad that his mother gets out of this difficulty. And I think about what he's lost, too, because his mother should be there, too, to lose sleep over him being sick, and he should know that she cares, too. Instead, all he has is me. And it makes me want to cry.
He's fine. Happily playing with his cars, and we'll go outside in a bit so I can finish some yard work, and we'll go to the store...
I just want to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. And I'm interested in the 'little' sacrifices you make that feel big. Like me losing sleep...
I have lost sleep, and I have no one to tell, or share the experience! And I'm mad that his mother gets out of this difficulty. And I think about what he's lost, too, because his mother should be there, too, to lose sleep over him being sick, and he should know that she cares, too. Instead, all he has is me. And it makes me want to cry.
He's fine. Happily playing with his cars, and we'll go outside in a bit so I can finish some yard work, and we'll go to the store...
I just want to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. And I'm interested in the 'little' sacrifices you make that feel big. Like me losing sleep...
Friday, March 14, 2008
David Week 10
This has been a difficult week for David. My schedule got changed at work, so now I'm working 2nd shift, 3 - 11. He likes that we don't have to rush off anywhere in the morning, but at the same time, it's been hard on him because his routine has been completely interrupted and reset. Monday was a great day for us, because we worked out in the yard after spending an hour or two watching educational TV on PBS. He is familiar with all the major characters such as from Sesame Street, but also from non-educational programs like Sponge Bob, and Mickey Mouse. What's made this so hard is that I'm having to readjust myself, too. Breakfast, lunch, naps...all different with me than with Dot. She tells me that she has no trouble getting him to eat, or settle down for naps, but part of me thinks that she's lying, just to make me feel better, or that she's been doing this for 30 years or more, and so Knows What To Do (TM). She's asked that I keep to her schedule, but I find that making him take a nap just keeps him up later at night. But then, not taking a nap makes him whiney, clingy, easier to bring to tears when he's told "no" -- harder to deal with. He now goes to her house about 2 PM or so, sometimes a bit earlier, or a bit later. I wake him up at about 11:15 PM, and put him in his bed. He makes the transition very well. It's hard, too, when my schedule changed because Wednesday, I had to go in at 12:00 PM, and get off at 8:00 PM, and that threw him off again. He was really upset (as upset as I've ever seen him) when he found out he had to go to Dot's later in the day on Thursday. It's been like that all week. If he has enough time to transition, then he's okay. Monday was OK, Tuesday was OK, Wednesday and Thursday, not so much. I'm off on Fridays, and on Saturdays I've asked my neighbor's daughter to take care of him, since I know that she keeps a little girl on Saturdays (and other days), and she works with kids as her job, which is good...
This coming week I have a 'regular' schedule, so that will be easier, I think, because there won't be the switching back and forth, and because I'm going to impose more schedule on him. He really enjoys being outside, and it's a good thing for me, too, because I end up doing yard work, or other house maintenance outside. He plays, and I work. And take lots of breaks to play with him. So we can play, and still do things like have a good breakfast, and a decent lunch before he goes to Dot's. I'm still wondering about the naps, though, because I want him to go to sleep easier at night, when Dot has him, and the three nights a week that I will have him.
But because I'm spending the days with him, I have him more of his awake hours. And I have more time that I can take with him to do things. So we do more stuff, and I'm getting to know him in a different way than before. He doesn't have to have me get him out of bed, dressed, and off; and get him home, play for an hour, eat, bathe, bed...
So, during the day...David's favorite toys include: a toy 'car' that he can push around, or that he can ride on when his daddy pushes him. Another thing he likes a an orange 'pin toy', where you put your hand and it shows the pattern of your hand in the raised pins. And then there's the dinosaurs. He got a couple of plastic ones, and the likes to make them roar at each other. When I play with him (me on one dino, and him on the other), he thinks they're tickling each other! It's very cute.
David is working on the concept of "more" vs 'another one'. Having breakfast, I'm feeding him eggs, and he keeps asking for 'one more', rather than asking for 'another bite' or 'another one', though he does say 'another one' from time to time. I'm finding that I'm writing about David's language development a lot. Are you curious about how else he's developing or changing? He counts, he says his letters, he goes through books, he walks, and talks, and repeats, and interacts with the TV. He will soon need his hair cut.
The other day I had my mother on the phone, and she started talking to him about his mommy, and he got really excited. I think he does miss her. David will be going up to see her in the 2nd half of April for two weeks.
This has been a tough week, but I'm sure next week will be better. Hope you have a good week, too.
This coming week I have a 'regular' schedule, so that will be easier, I think, because there won't be the switching back and forth, and because I'm going to impose more schedule on him. He really enjoys being outside, and it's a good thing for me, too, because I end up doing yard work, or other house maintenance outside. He plays, and I work. And take lots of breaks to play with him. So we can play, and still do things like have a good breakfast, and a decent lunch before he goes to Dot's. I'm still wondering about the naps, though, because I want him to go to sleep easier at night, when Dot has him, and the three nights a week that I will have him.
But because I'm spending the days with him, I have him more of his awake hours. And I have more time that I can take with him to do things. So we do more stuff, and I'm getting to know him in a different way than before. He doesn't have to have me get him out of bed, dressed, and off; and get him home, play for an hour, eat, bathe, bed...
So, during the day...David's favorite toys include: a toy 'car' that he can push around, or that he can ride on when his daddy pushes him. Another thing he likes a an orange 'pin toy', where you put your hand and it shows the pattern of your hand in the raised pins. And then there's the dinosaurs. He got a couple of plastic ones, and the likes to make them roar at each other. When I play with him (me on one dino, and him on the other), he thinks they're tickling each other! It's very cute.
David is working on the concept of "more" vs 'another one'. Having breakfast, I'm feeding him eggs, and he keeps asking for 'one more', rather than asking for 'another bite' or 'another one', though he does say 'another one' from time to time. I'm finding that I'm writing about David's language development a lot. Are you curious about how else he's developing or changing? He counts, he says his letters, he goes through books, he walks, and talks, and repeats, and interacts with the TV. He will soon need his hair cut.
The other day I had my mother on the phone, and she started talking to him about his mommy, and he got really excited. I think he does miss her. David will be going up to see her in the 2nd half of April for two weeks.
This has been a tough week, but I'm sure next week will be better. Hope you have a good week, too.
Friday, March 7, 2008
David's 9th Week
Somewhere in a baby's gestation, there is an ultrasound. I remember when Amanda and I were so worried about David that we went to the OB and he pointed out a little dot on the monitor: "That dot is your baby," he said. What a relief. Later on we found out that his hand wasn't developing normally. We were given the choice not to keep him. I'm glad the doctor had the sense enough not to make it clear that this was a choice. But it was never a consideration, anyway. I can't imagine not having him.
David won't let me get in the car and drive off without putting on my sea-bope. He was in a terrible terrible way on Tuesday morning. He didn't want to go to Dot's, didn't want me to leave him there, didn't want anything but me. Dot lies to me when she tells me he stopped crying as soon as I left her house. I know better. He was better himself, though, when I picked him up that night. He still lays awake at night in his bed, and plays, etc until at least 10 PM, no matter what I do. He sleeps on the floor. I don't pick him up off the floor since it just wakes him up.
Saturday we went to the Celtic festival in Zephyrhills. David liked watching the bag pipes, liked the music. He really watched the parade at the opening ceremonies. I noticed later that he got a bit sunburned, since his cheeks were rosy-red, and his nose. He didn't notice, and it faded by the time he went to bed. I had to call Amanda to ask her what clans she's descended from: MacKenzie and McKay. So David is from three clans that we know of (I’m from the Russell clan). Sunday he got to spend some time with "The Boy" or "My Boy" (his cousin, Jared) and "mom" (his cousin Avery), while I went to work.
On Monday night, David did something amazing! I was in the other room, and he has a new dinosaur book…he counted the dinosaurs 1 - 10 with no prompting, no words, no numbers on the page, and in the correct order…I was delighted! I wasn't even around. He just did it for himself. I'm sooo impressed.
His language is developing well. He doesn't say "neer" or "nurr" for down anymore. He says "nown" instead. Doesn't put those sounds completely together yet. And speaking of sounds, tonight we were driving in the rain, and he heard the sound of the water hitting the underside of the wheel wells, and said "Wa-er sound". He amazes me on a regular basis with little things like that.
He's beginning to repeat things I say in French, though to tell me it's not the French word for the object (like shoes and socks: des chaussures and des chausettes), it's the English word that he knows. I've found that if I introduce the word by saying "In French it's..." then he doesn't object so much, or so strongly. By coincidence, there was an article in the paper that mentioned resources for raising a bilingual child. So I'm going to try to do more of that.
And did I mention that he likes my singing now? He asks me to sing different songs, even spontaneous ones I make up as I go. Then I have to remember what I just sang, because now he says "SING!"
Meanwhile, David is learning how to defy me. We play outside lately in the beautiful evenings, and David has a little toy car thing that he pushes around. Well, I told him not to run it through a puddle, which he did anyway, so he got put in time-out, and his toy-car-thing went inside (after drying off, of course!). So he's learning consequences for his defiance, too! :-) He's very good about looking for cars, and not going out into the street. I stay close to him just in case, and I got a couple of balloons from work (which he calls moons), and I tie one on to his arm...he's even safer with that, because it makes him taller, and more reflective.
He's getting more expressive, too, in his face. He opens his eyes wide, his eyebrows go up, he smiles. Sometimes when I'm sitting at my computer he'll come to me, turn my chair to the side so I can stand up, grab my finger and say "'mon! 'mon!"...he wants me to follow, and RUN with him. It's very exciting to him...and fun for me, I have to admit. I just think it's funny how he turns the chair to get me to go somewhere.
Oh, and your free subscription to this newsletter should continue for as long as you like. You may cancel at any time, but hopefully you won't. :-)
David won't let me get in the car and drive off without putting on my sea-bope. He was in a terrible terrible way on Tuesday morning. He didn't want to go to Dot's, didn't want me to leave him there, didn't want anything but me. Dot lies to me when she tells me he stopped crying as soon as I left her house. I know better. He was better himself, though, when I picked him up that night. He still lays awake at night in his bed, and plays, etc until at least 10 PM, no matter what I do. He sleeps on the floor. I don't pick him up off the floor since it just wakes him up.
Saturday we went to the Celtic festival in Zephyrhills. David liked watching the bag pipes, liked the music. He really watched the parade at the opening ceremonies. I noticed later that he got a bit sunburned, since his cheeks were rosy-red, and his nose. He didn't notice, and it faded by the time he went to bed. I had to call Amanda to ask her what clans she's descended from: MacKenzie and McKay. So David is from three clans that we know of (I’m from the Russell clan). Sunday he got to spend some time with "The Boy" or "My Boy" (his cousin, Jared) and "mom" (his cousin Avery), while I went to work.
On Monday night, David did something amazing! I was in the other room, and he has a new dinosaur book…he counted the dinosaurs 1 - 10 with no prompting, no words, no numbers on the page, and in the correct order…I was delighted! I wasn't even around. He just did it for himself. I'm sooo impressed.
His language is developing well. He doesn't say "neer" or "nurr" for down anymore. He says "nown" instead. Doesn't put those sounds completely together yet. And speaking of sounds, tonight we were driving in the rain, and he heard the sound of the water hitting the underside of the wheel wells, and said "Wa-er sound". He amazes me on a regular basis with little things like that.
He's beginning to repeat things I say in French, though to tell me it's not the French word for the object (like shoes and socks: des chaussures and des chausettes), it's the English word that he knows. I've found that if I introduce the word by saying "In French it's..." then he doesn't object so much, or so strongly. By coincidence, there was an article in the paper that mentioned resources for raising a bilingual child. So I'm going to try to do more of that.
And did I mention that he likes my singing now? He asks me to sing different songs, even spontaneous ones I make up as I go. Then I have to remember what I just sang, because now he says "SING!"
Meanwhile, David is learning how to defy me. We play outside lately in the beautiful evenings, and David has a little toy car thing that he pushes around. Well, I told him not to run it through a puddle, which he did anyway, so he got put in time-out, and his toy-car-thing went inside (after drying off, of course!). So he's learning consequences for his defiance, too! :-) He's very good about looking for cars, and not going out into the street. I stay close to him just in case, and I got a couple of balloons from work (which he calls moons), and I tie one on to his arm...he's even safer with that, because it makes him taller, and more reflective.
He's getting more expressive, too, in his face. He opens his eyes wide, his eyebrows go up, he smiles. Sometimes when I'm sitting at my computer he'll come to me, turn my chair to the side so I can stand up, grab my finger and say "'mon! 'mon!"...he wants me to follow, and RUN with him. It's very exciting to him...and fun for me, I have to admit. I just think it's funny how he turns the chair to get me to go somewhere.
Oh, and your free subscription to this newsletter should continue for as long as you like. You may cancel at any time, but hopefully you won't. :-)
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Emergency Mommy System
We interrupt this thread to bring you this test of the Emergency Mommy System. This is only a test.
WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHAHAHAHAAAA
This test has been been brought to you by the Emergency Mommy System. Had this been a real emergency the crying child you just heard would have been followed by official instructions. This concludes this test.
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Hey, you're doing a good job, allowing your daughter to understand that there's consequences to things that she does wrong. And that they aren't pleasant. My heart breaks, too, when my son cries. I'm finding that I have to get tougher with him, because otherwise he'll run all over me!
Another thing to consider is by what measure are you determining a good/bad for the mommy part? Try to think long term in some of this stuff. Her upset crying will pass, but the lessons will be learned for a long time, helping her to be a healthy, well adjusted child and adult!
WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHAHAHAHAAAA
This test has been been brought to you by the Emergency Mommy System. Had this been a real emergency the crying child you just heard would have been followed by official instructions. This concludes this test.
---------
Hey, you're doing a good job, allowing your daughter to understand that there's consequences to things that she does wrong. And that they aren't pleasant. My heart breaks, too, when my son cries. I'm finding that I have to get tougher with him, because otherwise he'll run all over me!
Another thing to consider is by what measure are you determining a good/bad for the mommy part? Try to think long term in some of this stuff. Her upset crying will pass, but the lessons will be learned for a long time, helping her to be a healthy, well adjusted child and adult!
Overwhelmed
Some days are like that. This is where single men get the idea that eating a TV dinner over the sink comes from: their fathers. I'm guilty: I have a hard time feeding the boy, since I can't get him to sit still, and making enough for just the two of us is hard, and figuring out that he will eat at all is tough...so, tonight before bed he sees the yogurt in the fridge, and wants some. So, he stands in front of me, with me at the computer, and I feed him yogurt. Two of the containers full. He wanted more, but I won't let him OD on yogurt. I give him fruit, or something along that line to eat, maybe some bread with margerine. Of course, it's whole wheat bread...I miss civilized dinners with no chaos, or minimal chaos...I have to wait for him to go down to bed before I eat sometimes because I don't want to deal with it, and he doesn't tell me he's hungry...I know I should feed him, and I know he's well fed because of the lady he stays with during the day...I don't like just feeding him the same thing all the time. It drives me crazy! I don't like feeding myself the same thing all the time, either. Hot food is an issue, because he likes it, but not hot, and sometimes he can't wait for it to cool before he tries to eat it, then he won't touch it.
I feel like a double victim because I have no one to rescue me from his whims, and I have to deal with telling him "no!" because I'm busy trying to cook, or whatever it is I'm doing.
This has not been a good night.
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He likes yellow rice...he loves veggies...he eats quinoa, and cheese, and pizza...and bread, and fruit, and spaghetti, and tomatoes, and I can't think of anymore. Gortons (non-recalled) fish. mashed potatoes, though he tends to overfill his mouth and gag on them, then I get icky mooshy mashed potatoes in my hand. not much of a diet, huh? He'll eat oriental style vegetables and chicken...I've just got to get the routine down...and the timing. And the strength to tell him no,and not be subject to his whims so much...it's for his own good. A very unhappy, overwhelmed daddy isn't a very good one. Boundaries...something I've struggled with my whole life. Now I have to set them with one person who thinks I'm the Most Important Person in the World. And it's hard...
Sigh. I'm having a beer now, and all it does is make things fuzzy. Sigh.
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Dressing David is no problem. I just do it. In spite of all of the protesting he does. Quite different with the food. I think I'm going back to the high chair, or something else to lock him down to the table. Another of my "Just do it" things, I suppose, no matter how much he protests. (BTW, he's 2 1/2)
In fact, I think a Nike commercial with "Just do it" should show a mom (or a dad, in our case, Jamie!) feeding her (his) kid. And how tough it is. Not comical-like, either, the way they always show feeding babies in commercials. Or, even better, showing Michael Jordan feeding a kid, for real. How about a movie? Ideas blossom in my head like this all the time! So, we have MJ, with his Nike shoes, and his Nike clothes, feeding a kid for real. And him frustrated (like all of us!) with it, but learning how to do it. The last time we saw a man having to deal (for real) with feeding a kid was in Kramer vs Kramer, I think. Eventually he could be a success at feeding the kid, and then at the end of the movie would appear the words (huge words!) Just Do It.
And the female version could be Mia Hamm...lol...
And Melanie, you made me laugh! So did Jamie, and everyone else! After re-reading everything, I think he just doesn't know how to handle not being tied to the chair. At his babysitter's house, he has a high chair, not at home, though! He does have a good variety of things he'll eat. I do include him in my meal planning, but I apparently haven't included him in my 'sit down and eat' plan. I have to remember how old he is, and how strong willed he is. And how I have to get stronger...or just a thicker skin. Something! Okay, now imagine the "Rocky" theme music...I have got the sports metaphor thing going! I guess I don't want to go all the way on the discipline thing, but I guess I have to. I don't want him to be a failure in life...He seems to like his babysitter just fine. In some ways, I feel like she's raising him, and teaching me at the same time. He knows what's expected, he knows how it's going to go. Sigh...I am sooo not like that. They say children change your life, but it's impossible to say how until you have one, and then another might change you some other way!
I feel like a double victim because I have no one to rescue me from his whims, and I have to deal with telling him "no!" because I'm busy trying to cook, or whatever it is I'm doing.
This has not been a good night.
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He likes yellow rice...he loves veggies...he eats quinoa, and cheese, and pizza...and bread, and fruit, and spaghetti, and tomatoes, and I can't think of anymore. Gortons (non-recalled) fish. mashed potatoes, though he tends to overfill his mouth and gag on them, then I get icky mooshy mashed potatoes in my hand. not much of a diet, huh? He'll eat oriental style vegetables and chicken...I've just got to get the routine down...and the timing. And the strength to tell him no,and not be subject to his whims so much...it's for his own good. A very unhappy, overwhelmed daddy isn't a very good one. Boundaries...something I've struggled with my whole life. Now I have to set them with one person who thinks I'm the Most Important Person in the World. And it's hard...
Sigh. I'm having a beer now, and all it does is make things fuzzy. Sigh.
-----------
Dressing David is no problem. I just do it. In spite of all of the protesting he does. Quite different with the food. I think I'm going back to the high chair, or something else to lock him down to the table. Another of my "Just do it" things, I suppose, no matter how much he protests. (BTW, he's 2 1/2)
In fact, I think a Nike commercial with "Just do it" should show a mom (or a dad, in our case, Jamie!) feeding her (his) kid. And how tough it is. Not comical-like, either, the way they always show feeding babies in commercials. Or, even better, showing Michael Jordan feeding a kid, for real. How about a movie? Ideas blossom in my head like this all the time! So, we have MJ, with his Nike shoes, and his Nike clothes, feeding a kid for real. And him frustrated (like all of us!) with it, but learning how to do it. The last time we saw a man having to deal (for real) with feeding a kid was in Kramer vs Kramer, I think. Eventually he could be a success at feeding the kid, and then at the end of the movie would appear the words (huge words!) Just Do It.
And the female version could be Mia Hamm...lol...
And Melanie, you made me laugh! So did Jamie, and everyone else! After re-reading everything, I think he just doesn't know how to handle not being tied to the chair. At his babysitter's house, he has a high chair, not at home, though! He does have a good variety of things he'll eat. I do include him in my meal planning, but I apparently haven't included him in my 'sit down and eat' plan. I have to remember how old he is, and how strong willed he is. And how I have to get stronger...or just a thicker skin. Something! Okay, now imagine the "Rocky" theme music...I have got the sports metaphor thing going! I guess I don't want to go all the way on the discipline thing, but I guess I have to. I don't want him to be a failure in life...He seems to like his babysitter just fine. In some ways, I feel like she's raising him, and teaching me at the same time. He knows what's expected, he knows how it's going to go. Sigh...I am sooo not like that. They say children change your life, but it's impossible to say how until you have one, and then another might change you some other way!
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