I'm especially glad that I don't "need" it to live on, because I read all the horror stories about what happens when it isn't paid. And that is something that worries me greatly. Part of the reason that I'm able to make it alone is that she was nickle and diming us to death with lots and lots of small purchases. With her not making all those purchases, it's easier for me to keep up with everything,...I'm not much of a spender...I usually make dumb purchases for big things once in a while. But then, lately I don't feel deprived of anything, and I feel like I have everything I need, and I don't really want much...that also makes it easier to say no to my 2 year old, because I think of the mountain of toys he has at home.
And about my name: yes, it's Russell; I'm named after my grandfather. I've always been Rusty around my family and friends. I feel like my name was taken away by my ex because she refused to call me Rusty...Russell is more like my name at work. So part of me returning to 'me' is my name being what I think it should be, and what it has been to those that are most familiar and close to me...
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