David Weekly, #43 Christmas, and New Years

David had a good flight to St Louis. On Tuesday, he was asking me all day to go to Missouri. When I told him he had to go to Dot's, then night time, then before the sun comes up we leave, he cried. He was ready to GO! When I woke up at 0'dark-30, to take a shower and get ready, he wanted to go in the bathroom with me while I took a shower. I just told him to go back to sleep. He was disoriented about being awake and leaving the house before "it's light out." He had to go outside and check for light before he would let me dress him. We went to the airport, and as usual, I parked on the roof, so we could watch the planes, and this time, see the sun rise. It was a beautiful morning. Could not have been more perfect. We go down, get ourselves checked in. He sees a security guard, and tells him how we're going to Missouri, in lots of detail. Funny thing about being at the airport: he suddently wanted to go back home. I just think he was scared of going on the plane. I was prepared for our trip because I had a movie for the laptop, a couple of toys, stuff to write on and write with...We ate breakfast in the airport, and played with his car. He remembered about the little play area, so we went there to play a little bit before we had to board, since he was bored. :-) Another thing about getting on the plane is that he wanted to get on the small plane, and he told me I was going to get on the big plane. And I'm not completely sure what he's talking about, but he must have thought somehow we were getting on separate planes. I'm like, "No, we're getting on the same plane." And he says, "NO! You're getting on the big plane, and I'm getting on the small plane!" So I agree, but then I end up starting over, telling him we're getting on the same plane. Can I ever win with this child? So I finally told him, once we were in the air, that the plane was shrinking, and that the sound of the flaps getting moved around (or whatever is happening with them) is what caused that. And when we got close to the airport, that the plane was getting bigger again. I'm not sure he bought it, though. I just think that the small plane is the one that he sees in the sky, and the big plane is the one on the ground. He's still not good at take-offs and landings. He gets really scared.

For entertainment on the plane, he watched "Scooby Doo Goes Hollywood" on my laptop. For sound, I used a pair of earbuds, but they didn't fit his ears well, so everytime they fell out, he would say, "Uh oh!" And I'd put them back in.

We arrived in St Louis with no problems, except that he was saying it's "scary!" as we made out descent, because it's bumpy going through the clouds. He wanted me to hold him, for him to sit on my lap, which you can't do when you're about to land. Getting off the plane, someone asked him if it's his first flight, and he said, "Yeah!" This just kills me. I want to say that he does remember going on a plane before, but I can't judge what he remembers or not... We had to have Nancy pick him up since it's so cold that Amanda was unable to make the trip up to St Louis, since there was so much ice on the ground! While we were waiting for Grandma Kenney, we went out and played in the snow. He was thrilled to see his footprints in the snow. I'm grateful to my sister's in-laws for getting him a heavy winter coat, because he needed it! It was 22 degrees when we arrived at Lambert Airport, and even though he was dressed in a long sleeved turtleneck, he said "I'm cold!" so I put the coat on him in the terminal. Then we went outside, and he was so excited! We played in the snow for a bit before Nancy got there. He went off with her very well. I'd been preparing him for this change of plans because of the cold. I'm still not completely sure when he'll be back in Tampa, but at the latest it will be January 9. I talked to Amanda for a few hours later and she said that Nancy told her that David was really enjoying the snow! When he first saw the snow from the plane he said that "They have Christmas here, too, because of the snow." So holidays in general are still location specific. We have Christmas at our house, because we decorated, and so does Dot, because she decorated, and a house down the street. And, it would seem, anywhere that has snow, has Christmas.

When Nancy arrived, she taught him a new game: he said that he can see his "breaf", and showed her, and she showed him her breath, and then said, "I got you!" And then he blew his visible breath at her and cackled with delight! "I got you!" Oh what a fun game! He was very good about going with her. He'll have a lot of fun with his grand-parents and Aunt Marissa.

Saturday we went to dinner with my mother for her birthday. David behaved very well, for a 3 year old. :-) After the dinner we went to Dade City, FL, about 30 minutes or so north of Tampa, for a "Christmas Stroll", and we had fun seeing the different shops, and a bluegrass quartet, and general walking around with all the other people being there. His cousins were there, at the dinner and the Christmas Stroll thing, and we had a blast. At the end of the night, he wanted to find the horses (since there were carriage rides with horses) to tell them good night. So we went looking, but they were already gone.

David knows the name of the condition with his hand: Ectrodactyly. He says it pretty well. So when you ask him what's wrong with his hand, he says, "Ectrodactyly." My mom thought that was something else! She got a kick out of the fact that he knows, and says it. The idea is that it will befuddle anyone who asks, and hopefully they leave him alone about it. We'll just have to see. There's a kid at Gabrielle's Glen who already gives David some grief, by saying "My Daddy!" when he sees me, and of course David doesn't want anyone else to claim me, so he says, "MY DADDY!"

One of the days we were watching Curious George he repeated the way Dr. John (who sings the theme song) says "George" in his accent: J-oh-ge ... long O in the middle, and no R sound.

On Sunday we went to Walgreens to pick up a few things, and David became my defender. A man asked me for some money, and David said to him, very sternly, "NO! He's busy with me! And..." said a few more things about how we were getting presents and such. I hadn't really said anything to the guy except, "No, I can't."

We had Christmas for David on Sunday. He got some really cool toys! He got a Sponge Bob video game that comes in a single console/controller combo, two Scooby Doo movies, some clothes, some character stuff from the movie Cars, bubbles, a magnadoodle (which he was asking me how to write his name on), the Polar Express on DVD and the book, a digital Schrek watch, and a few other knick-knacks. He had a lot of fun, and had a good Christmas here. Just a bit early, though.

He had a cough again...and we did a nebulizer treatment. "Nebeewizer" It's becoming a weekly occurrence.

Monday night he would not go to sleep! He was just wide awake, and wide awake, and wide awake. He had a fever, so I gave him some children's ibuprofen, which brought his fever down. Not sure what it was, but he did sleep, eventually.

So that's it. It's been not quite a year, and what a year it's been. I'm sending this last edition of 2008 early, since David's now safely with his mother, and everything about this week is still so fresh in my mind.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Rusty

Visitation Vent

Sigh. A little background: I'm in Tampa, FL (look on the map!), and my ex is in Missouri, about 2 hours south of St Louis. I'm going to fly up to St. Louis on Wednesday the 17th, to drop off 3 year old DS for him to stay w/ her for Christmas, and New Years.
I get a text message this afternoon to tell me that it's really cold, icy, all that stuff, and that maybe DS's grandmother will be the one to pick him up. Ok, no problem. We still haven't established exactly when and how he's getting home: is she going to fly with him, are she are her bf going to drive all the way down here (I don't know why; they say it's cheaper, but really?), what? And when? She won't say, hasn't said, is waiting for her BF's employer to decide if he can have off the day after New Year's Day, which is a Friday. And is still waiting, won't give me an answer because of it.
I've been thinking that 3 weeks is good, as he's handled 3 weeks with her before with no problem back in the summer, and she said she didn't want to travel during her daughter's 9th birthday on Jan 5. I'm off the Friday of that week, so that would give her 3 weeks and 2 days to be with him, and she could fly back w/ him. I've even offered to pay for two of the three tickets that would be required...
So we're texting back and forth. She wants to know if I need to "pin down a day" (uhm, yeah!). She then asks me when I want him back...I thought we had discussed this, but here she is, asking me again. I'm slightly vague on when he should be back because of the birthday of my ex's daughter, and her not being sure of how she's going to bring him back. I know I'm being maybe just a tad too nice, but she's been doing this for a couple of weeks now. It's time to commit to something. (I'm not sure why I'm having a hard time setting a limit w/ her, but I am.) She says, "Name a day, and it's my responsibility to get him there." So I finally say, by Jan 9, at the latest. Then she goes back to the 4th as to when she'll have him back, even though she admits that flying back w/ him on the 9th is "generous"...
Why wouldn't you want to have your kid as long as possible? I'm only going this long because she won't get a chance to have him this long again for 6 months. She'll see him a week or two this spring, either late March or April sometime (around Easter), and then again for 4 weeks this time in the summer in 2009. Ugh.

David Weekly, #42

It's been a busy week. Today we were doing a little bit of Christmas shopping, and at the bookstore a lady opened the door for David and myself. He said to her, "Thank you." She was very surprised in her response, "You're welcome!"
We also went to a Christmas party at my mother's office, and it was fun showing him off. I was told that the fact that he can say his alphabet, knows some words in French, knows the letters in sign language, and a few other things make him exceptional. I don't know if this is true, but it's fun! I'm just glad he's learning how to talk. On the way over to my mother's office, he was telling me he can "say" W, but I thought, you are saying it. What he meant was that he could sign it. He was in the back of the car, trying to put together the signs for some of the letters, and he did W, and A, and a few other letters. I told him that he's signing, which sounds like "sighing" when he says it.

We went looking at Christmas lights tonight, too. We were listening to Christmas music while driving around, and he actually wanted me to sing, rather than not sing. Always a surprise, that one. He would see some of the light displays and say "Wow," but in a loud whisper. Looking at the lights was fun, and he fell asleep in the car towards the end. Other Christmas activities we've done this week include watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", which was exciting, because he did the loud whisper thing again as he watched, and would say, "The Grinch is stealing Christmas!" And he would narrate what he saw as it happened.

It's hard to get in the Christmas spirit around here sometimes, when it's 80º out, like it was yesterday. A cold front came through last night, and it's been in the 50's ever since. No snow here, like in New Orleans. The weather says it will be warm again this week coming up. So I'll be bringing David from Florida's 50's at night and 70's during the day to a high temp on Wednesday in St Louis of 33. I'll make sure to have warm clothes packed, and extra stuff handy for when we get off the plane. I'll be in St Louis at 9:45 AM on December 17, to drop him off.

David skinned his knees again, when we were playing chase outside. He's a trooper, a strong little boy. After crying about it, and getting Bactine put on it (which hurts more), he had me put Band-Aids on the scrapes on both knees, and was ready to go back outside and run around like nothing happened. Except I told him to be careful this time, and so he was, and would prove it by saying so: "I was careful this time!"

In potty training news, we have him wearing underwear. And not wanting to wear diapers. I may have him in pullups for the plane trip, though, just for insurance purposes. He rarely tells anyone he has to go, rather, he expects to be told when to go. And if you don't tell him to go, then he makes a big mess. Dot told me that some kids are easy to train, and others aren't...guess who isn't easy to train? But we are making progress.

I've been asked what David wants for Christmas. He wants basically wants what he already has. He sees things in the store that he wants, but he doesn't miss it once it's out of sight. I'd like more things on DVD that he doesn't otherwise get because I don't have cable, like Blues Clues, Wiggles, and other shows that might be educational, because I see him learning from the PBS kids shows that he watches now, like "Sid the Science Kid." On that show in particular, he learned about "decay." Other shows, like "Martha Speaks," have vocabulary lessons built into the dialog, so he's getting exposure to more big words than I would normally say to him myself. He's also learned that signs with letters on them say things, so he's asking "What that sign says!" A lot. I've been teaching him how to read, by sight, basically, but lately I'm beginning to teach him how to sound out words. It's a slow process, because he knows the letters, and that they make certain sound, but hasn't quite figured out how to put them together to make words yet, or more simply, that when he sees a letter, to make that sound. The show "Super Why!" has a segment about spelling, but they don't really address letter combinations that make new sounds, such as 'ng' at the end of 'sing', for example. But I do see that he's getting that letters make sounds.

We went to the park today, and he made a friend with another little 3 year old, and they had fun together. It's cool to see him communicate with someone else about his age, who speaks about the same way he does. They just did the same things together, run, go down the slides, and generally be 3 year olds.

It has been determined that the function of David's blanket "is for smelling." This is from the mouth of the boy himself. I'm not totally sure why the smell is important, but it is...

I love it when he figures out things. The other day I told him I have put some clothes from the wash into the dryer, and he said, "OH! Because they're wet!"

Well, as of today, December 12, 2008, there are 13 days left until Christmas. May your Christmas be merry and bright. One more update from me about David next Friday, and that will be it for the year. It's been a year since I began writing these little newsletters, and I hope you've found some joy in this little boy we all love, care about, and cherish. He is a delight, and I hope you've enjoyed reading about him as much as I have enjoyed writing about him.

Rusty

What a trooper

So we're out running around the driveway like we always do, and he trips and skins his knees. Poor kid. So I take him inside, still crying, and put some Bactine on them, which makes him cry more and louder, and then, after putting band-aids on, he says, "wet's going outside and run around some more" in his poor, pathetic little I'm-hurt-voice. But we do go outside, and run around some more. And he says, "I was careful this time!"

Another thing he wants for Christmas is pictures of him and his sister together, like the ones we got done last year. I asked Amanda about this, and she said a big fat maybe. Why deprive your son of that??? Ugh.

A sad fact

So Amanda's step-mom sends me an email today asking what David's into...for Christmas toys. This is sad, of course, because Amanda won't know, because she's not spending enough time w/ the boy...and I called her today so I could figure out what kind of present to get for Colleen, and Amanda asked me what David's into...sad sad sad...I guess it bothers me more because my father never knew what I was into either as a kid. It's a big deal for Nancy to email me. A really big deal.

Here's a memory for you

I'm listening to "Autobahn" by Kraftwerk, an electronica piece that many know...but it's from the middle '70s. I know this because I remember hearing the vinyl album at my house when I was a kid, of about 5. My father got it, and I remember one day we had all gone out and done something, but then later, after noon, everyone was asleep, but me, because I didn't take naps when I was little, and this song was on. My father had left the record player going, but this is a 22 minute song anyway. I'm looking out the window right now, remembering a gray day when I was 5, sitting on the floor, looking at the album cover, listening to this song, wishing I could have a Saturday like that with David one day, where we go out and do something active in the morning, and come home in the afternoon and rest, and sleep for a little while.

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Meanwhile, an intruding thought:

Amanda says that David is stubborn like her, and that I won't win some fight I'm having with him. Hopefully that was tongue in cheek, since she doesn't know him anymore, and as he gets older, she will know him less and less.

We're going to have to Act

If we want to live in a different world. We're going to have to act, if we want to live in a different world. Ahhh motivation. We're going to have to act if we want to live in a different world. Time to act, and do and go and be, not sit and wait and worry.

David Weekly, #41

David is my personal trainer. The reason I say this is because today, all day long, he's been wanting to go outside and run nonstop! And I keep telling him I'm tired, and he yells, "RUN!" or "CHASE ME!" at the top of his lungs. And he doesn't really give me the chance to say no...so I've been running all day, and I'm tired! But we made Christmas bread special. This is a tradition that my mother unwittingly started and I have since picked up. Usually I'll make it on Christmas Eve, but because David won't be with me on Christmas Eve, we made it tonight. He got to measure things, and mix things, and knead the dough, and twist up the dough and put it on the cookie sheet. It was a lot of fun, and we made a mess. :-)

We're still on the potty training thing...he's sleeping without diapers on tonight, since I've been realizing that his diaper is dry when he wakes up every morning. He's not happy about making this change at all. It's just something he fights and fights and fights. One morning, though, he said something so funny..."YAY! The water changed color!" This is after a toilet flush. Blew me away. He says all kinds of interesting things. As I was changing his diaper at one point I was talking to him about how he needs to use the potty, and he says that when he gets bigger he won't wear one anymore, but when I get smaller, I will wear one...or at the grocery store today the cashier and I were teasing him about working at the store, because he was standing in the spot the cashier normally stands in the next lane, and he says he can't work there yet because he's "still growing." The cashier was impressed with that, saying how smart he is.

And still problems with sleeping in my bed at night. One night, he actually had a nightmare. He had a dream about standing on some kind of a box that was melting in the rain. He was really scared! Of falling, or the rain, or what, I'm not too sure. But it was very unhappy for him. Fortunately I was still awake for him to come tell me about it. I told him it was just a dream, and he's awake now, and it's okay. He went back to sleep after a little while...other nights, though, he'll come in there and just lay up against me...one morning at about 5 AM or so, he stretches and says, "I'm so tired, I'm going sleep for hours!" I heard this and just roared with laughter, completely out of my half asleep-ness. I was wide awake at that point, and so was he. The child still hates it when I sleep, so I didn't get much more shuteye after that. I talked to him about letting me sleep in the morning, and it's interesting to hear him repeat to me what he heard. Sometimes, though, he'll tell me a plan of what he wants, or how somethings going to go, "Awright?" And I say, "What am I agreeing to?" And he just says, "Awright?" again, more impatiently...so I just say yes. I frequently have no idea what I agree to.

Last week I talked about his emotional awareness, so this week he's added another one: "Are you happy, or sad, or angry?"

Tuesday, it was a cold but beautiful sunny day, so David and I went to the park. And had a blast. He had me running again, down the boardwalk. But when he was done running, he developed a horrible cough, worse than I'd ever seen. To the point that I was scared for him. We went home directly, and fast, and immediately got the nebulizer out and gave him a treatment. This did the trick, but only in slowing the cough down, rather than curing it entirely. So a dose of cough medicine did the trick. I'm noticing that as he's more active, it's more of a problem for him to breathe, and he coughs, regardless of the weather. When I start hearing that cough, we slow down until he can recover, rather than me letting him continue and giving him a treatment.

After we had our Thanksgiving meal last week, my mother asked me a question, which I had never really asked myself before: what exactly is the condition with David's hand? It's called "Ectrodactyly." I did some research on it on the internet to get a better idea what that means. It's a genetic mutation, happening in approximately 1 in 90,000 births, so it's "rare." Because there's no history of it before David, he didn't inheret it from either side of the family, as far as I can tell. But he has a 50/50 change of passing it down to any children he has, because the mutation is on a dominant gene...here's a couple of links I found through Google (where else would you search?)

Wikipedia entry
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=2832319&page=1
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-ectrodactyly.htm

I am concerned, though, that not one doctor ever mentioned this to me, nor is it listed on the reports that I got from the Shriners. I do remember, vaguely, asking how he got like that, and no one was really able to answer...something about "amniotic banding" which now I think was a bad answer...We were given the chance to terminate the pregnancy when we saw his hand in the ultrasound, but I'm so glad we have this wonderful little boy in our lives.

David can say his ABCs all the way through, so I've taken the opportunity to say them with him and then sign-language/finger spell each letter as he goes. And now he can tell me the letters (not all of them, but many of them) at random. So I'm beginning to finger spell some things, like his name. It's amazing to me how smart he is, and how quickly he's learned the sign letters. I'm thinking I should take a sign language class with him, or maybe me take it, and then just share it with him. He's picked it up so much more quickly than the French that I'm trying with him, though he was actually showing off that he knows the colors in French to my neighbor.

And speaking of colors, I put up Christmas lights on my house last Saturday night. David got soo excited about them! And when we were doing the tree last Friday, David got a hold of my camera, and took lots of close up pictures of the tree, and the ornaments. I also bought an advent calendar from the drug store. It's got a picture of Santa Clause on it. I'd like to know where I can find one with a religious theme, and with the numbers in order, like on a calendar.

Monday we got back to our routine of going to school, and coming home for 2 hours, and playing, and then going to Dot's...he actually missed the routine, I could tell.

Have a good week.

A lot on my mind today

But significantly, was out at the park w/ David, temp in the mid 50's, and as we're going home, he is coughing and coughing and just can't catch a breath! So I get all worried and give the boy his nebulizer, which he coughed through most of that, too...and then I gave him the cough medicine. Whew! I hate asthma. Hate it hate it hate it. We had fun at the park, though, because when he wants to run, we RUN! And he won't let me stop. He's like my little 3 year old personal trainer or something.

He talked about being "healed" since I had given him some Blistex for his chapped lips, which he hated, "I don't wike this!" he wailed. Poor kid. I told him it was to heal his lips...so now when things are better, they are healed! Like his lungs and coughing after the nebulizer and cough medicine. "I'm healed, Daddy!"

David and I play a "game" with each other: Hurry UP! Delay delay delay. Hurry UP! Delay delay delay. We both do it to each other. He wants me to do something NOW, and I'm like "not yet!" When I want him to do something NOW, he says, "Almost." Too funny.

Today he woke me up at 6 AM with a one liner: With him making stretching noises, he says, "I'm so tired I'll sleep for hours!" Of course, he didn't sleep anymore, and therefore, neither did I. But it was so funny that I just laughed and laughed. I was half asleep, but then I was WIDE awake...and sigh...

Christmas Mourning

So David's going to be gone for Christmas, starting in about 2 weeks. I'm feeling how strongly unfair it is that I won't get to have him for Christmas, and that I'm even sending him up there a week early...what am I going to do??? I'll have all this time at "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year", and then he'll be gone for New Year's, too, which isn't so bad, really. And Amanda didn't really talk to me yesterday, so I didn't get a chance to ask her about him coming back. When am I going to do Christmas with him? Part of me wants to skip it all together. The other thing I'm thinking is that is I kindof am doing Christmas with him: we did the Christmas tree, we did the Polar Express movie...and we'll do a few more things before he goes. Just no Christmas morning, unwrapping gifts. Or going to my sister's for our family get - together. Ok, that may be a benefit: Jared won't be hurting David, and then saying he's sorry. And no fighting children, either. :-|

I get to have all the other time in the world, but I don't get the special times...sigh...