David and I went to my friend April's house for the weekend, for her birthday. David did not get along with the other little boy that was there, Connor. At one point, he was harrassing him with a flag he'd found, not hitting him hard, but more like, touching him over and over with the thing. Of course, Connor didn't like it. I sometimes think that David needs a bigger bully than him to get what he does to the other kids. David spent lots of time in Time Out. Other times, they got along famously! I've also learned that David now says, "Stupid!" in an effort to hit the kid with words, rather than hands or feet. I hate to say that's an improvement, but it's an improvement. But we'll keep working on getting him to the point that he isn't doing any of the bad behavior...It's just going to be lots of work. But I know we'll get there. I also think him eating his shirt is a result of him controlling himself.
At one point, we went to the big fire pit they had dug outside, with the fire going full force. And we were looking at it. I don't know what brought the topic up, but David was telling me that a particular dinosaur was in North America, and he wanted to know where we were. I said, "North America." And he didn't exactly get that. I looked all around, pointed out the "all around" and said, "This is North America. But the dinosaur you're thinking of is in Utah." I pointed northwest. Then he understood.
Towards the end of the day on Sunday, David was getting restless: "I want to go home. To our home." he says. He fell asleep in the car on the way back, and I stopped at an exit before getting to our exit for McDonald's. David wakes up enough to look around and tell me that I'm at the wrong exit, or that I went the wrong way. I told him I was going to get something to eat, and he just started to cry! Poor kid, just wanted to go home. He was very tired from the night before. As much as he tried, he just couldn't fall asleep. So he finally did get to sleep very late, and woke up at about daybreak the next morning.
And he's counting everything in sight now. And he knows how to do it to the point that he can do it wrong on purpose, which is pretty funny.
David will be flying in to St Louis at 12:40 PM on Friday, April 9, and staying for a week.
Tuesday, David had a terrible day. Monday we had decided, since he'd had a good day, to switch to putting a checkmark on the calendar for a good day. Of course, he still wanted treats. Tuesday he had all kinds of troubles. Ms. Nadine told me that he doesn't eat lunch, at all. And at nap time, he doesn't sleep. Then is cranky. Then won't listen to teachers, or get along with others...so we got home, and put an X on Tuesday. This lead to more crying on his part. We also had a big struggle over him eating his dinner. I set him down to bed very early, and he fell asleep right away.
Wednesday was a MUCH better day. I was told that David was playing 'red-light/green-light' and kept losing. So he got very angry and kicked the fence! And then he realized that the other kids just kept playing, so he went to play again, and he began to win. So I told him that he did so much better, learning how to contain his anger, how to get it out more appropriately (kicking the fence is better than hitting someone), and how to keep doing something, even though it's frustrating, and that he can eventually succeed. Sometimes at home we'll be throwing the ball around, and he wants to punt it, but he's not very good at throwing the ball up and not out so that he can kick it. That's hard for him, too. But he's learning. So we got home, and put a check mark on Wednesday. He was very happy. He got a big smile on his face, and gave me a big hug. And then he got a few mint-chocolate chip cookies.
Thursday, David and Cinnamon spent some time playing, and hanging out. He really had a lot of fun.
Friday we went to the doctor for his followup visit. He's just fine. He's grown another inch! 43 pounds, and inches, I think. They're so close to each other.
I also asked David if there's anything he wants to say to everyone that gets this email. He said he wants to tell you about his friends at school, but that was about all he said. He shuts down when I ask him what else to say. "I don't know..." I'll work with him on trying to get him to intentionally communicate something. Normally when he tells me things, it's "We worked on letter J" or I get some made up explanation of how something works, but I can't remember what it was. It's just a spontaneous conversation, rather than something he thought about, or planned to say.
Lastly, David has decided that he doesn't like "Dinosaur Train." I ask him why, and he said that he doesn't like talking dinosaurs. But I put the show on for him anyway, and he begins to repeat what they say about the dinosaurs, and trying to pronounce their names. He is so funny.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
David Weekly, V3 - 10
This week, David has been adjusting to the time change. It's the first time he's had to deal with it so directly. Before, last year, and the years before, when he woke up wasn't so important. Now he's got to be awake by 7:20, so we can have him ready and out the door by 7:50, to be at school by 8. So I have to awaken him. And it's rough. It's hard for him to go to bed, too, earlier. He just lays in bed with his blanket, making his little noise, and sometimes he talks to himself, though I can't hear enough to make sense out of it. Other times, he gets books, and I hear him paging through them.
And I have mentioned that he can read before, but it continues to impress me. He is able to read about half the words in the "Apples up on top" book, though I have to make him read them, because he tries to already know what they are, as if they were in a certain order. And he's beginning to get the sounding out of words, too. I work with him at bed time every night on reading words. We get a Highlights magazine every month, and David is always excited to get mail with his name on it. And then we read it, usually a couple of times over the course of the month. It helps a lot with his various skills. There's the "Silly things in the picture" and the "find the hidden items in the picture" and lots of poems with rhymes and small words...
David now will randomly tell me, "I love you, daddy. You're so sweet." I don't know what triggered this, but I get a kick out of it.
And I forgot to mention that he had picture day last week, so I'm hoping to see the proofs at some point soon. I will then be able to send out order forms to whomever would like one.
And about his behavior: this week has seen big improvement. I gave him a bigger goal that just a treat at the end of the day: if he can have 4 of 5 good days, then he gets a Diego DVD. My expectation of him was that he listen to the teacher, and that he control himself. He proved this week that he can have slips, but still listen to the teacher, allow himself to be redirected, sat in Time Out, and then recover and be fine. I was not expecting perfection, and I didn't get it. But I was expecting improvement, and got much more than I asked for. He actually had 5 good days. And the incidents were smaller than he'd had before, so improvement there as well. I figure another week of this type of improvement, and we'll start to fine tune, and get some more self control, and continued better behavior, until I hear of no incidents. I talk to him every day about what the rules are, and how he can handle his anger when he gets angry. It's making a difference. I'm so proud of him! And he got his DVD.
So that's a week. I hope you've had a good week.
And I have mentioned that he can read before, but it continues to impress me. He is able to read about half the words in the "Apples up on top" book, though I have to make him read them, because he tries to already know what they are, as if they were in a certain order. And he's beginning to get the sounding out of words, too. I work with him at bed time every night on reading words. We get a Highlights magazine every month, and David is always excited to get mail with his name on it. And then we read it, usually a couple of times over the course of the month. It helps a lot with his various skills. There's the "Silly things in the picture" and the "find the hidden items in the picture" and lots of poems with rhymes and small words...
David now will randomly tell me, "I love you, daddy. You're so sweet." I don't know what triggered this, but I get a kick out of it.
And I forgot to mention that he had picture day last week, so I'm hoping to see the proofs at some point soon. I will then be able to send out order forms to whomever would like one.
And about his behavior: this week has seen big improvement. I gave him a bigger goal that just a treat at the end of the day: if he can have 4 of 5 good days, then he gets a Diego DVD. My expectation of him was that he listen to the teacher, and that he control himself. He proved this week that he can have slips, but still listen to the teacher, allow himself to be redirected, sat in Time Out, and then recover and be fine. I was not expecting perfection, and I didn't get it. But I was expecting improvement, and got much more than I asked for. He actually had 5 good days. And the incidents were smaller than he'd had before, so improvement there as well. I figure another week of this type of improvement, and we'll start to fine tune, and get some more self control, and continued better behavior, until I hear of no incidents. I talk to him every day about what the rules are, and how he can handle his anger when he gets angry. It's making a difference. I'm so proud of him! And he got his DVD.
So that's a week. I hope you've had a good week.
Friday, March 12, 2010
David Weekly, V3 - 9
Went to the Celtic Festival with David. He went on the play ground equipment there, and pushed another little boy. The boy's mother came up to me to report this to me. I was, of course, upset. And held David until he settled down. I asked him about pushing the other boy, and he lied to me! Not that I'm surprised; he is four. I told him this is unacceptable. He was good, though, when we went looking at the vendors' items for sale. I told him "don't touch", and he didn't! What a good boy.
In a separate park, later in the day, we encountered a different boy, who was at the top of a slide. David and I had discussed, because of the previous situation, what to do when he has a problem with another kid: Practice saying, "Go away!" or "Leave me alone!" or "Help me, daddy!" or "Excuse me!" We also talked about "The Rules": No Hitting, No Pushing, and No Kicking. Use your words. David tried the "Excuse me" line when the other boy wouldn't move out of the way, but he didn't respond. After a few times trying to get this boy's attention, I told David to tap the other boy's shoulder. But this other boy's parents told him to slide down the slide. I realized that this other boy must have some kind of disorder, since he wasn't speaking, and otherwise looked normal. I told David that this other boy's brain works differently than his, because the other boy wasn't talking. David wants to know why it works differently. I didn't know, just said that it does. Just like his own hand is different, or his eyes are blue and other people have brown eyes, and we don't know why. I asked David if there was another way he could communicate. David said he didn't know, so I said, "What about smiling?" Since everyone smiles, this seemed like a good thing. David was turning the idea about this kid being different over and over, exploring it, trying to figure it out, why the differences, what did it mean...
"They're there!" He loves it when he comes across things like that. He thinks this is so funny. "They" are Avery and Jared, and at they're at their house there.
We sat on Friday morning, watching the rain, before getting ready for school, in the morning light. David had asked to go outside and watch the rain. He and I sat and watched the world go by. He covered the two of us with his blanket.
I watched him at his school on Wednesday morning, and the other kids are "handsy", in that they all touch each other. I think part of what happens to David is that he gets "touched" (really, more like a slap on the back, or something that is more than a gentle or accidental touch), then gets very upset because he takes it personally. It just switches from 'fun' to insult/injury.
Wednesday night, David tells me he had a good day, but the teacher disagrees. After a few minutes, we realize that he did, in fact, have a good day, but only at the very end did he have an issue with another child. When he gets into "angry mode", he stops listening. It's very hard to deal with him when he gets that way. We're working on helping him to handle his anger, and how to listen. He has a new "teacher", Ms. Ky. (pronounced like "hi") It's short for something, but I don't remember. I'm also working on rewards that aren't treats. I'd like some suggestions on a daily thing, stickers...something where I can reward him that isn't food. Also, David was looking forward to getting to go to Rachel's on Thursday: he is now able to keep up with the days of the week. Smart kid!
David likes to wear 2 shirts when it's cold, but this week, it was finally warm! We took advantage of a beautiful day Tuesday to play with a ball outside. Spring just sort of happened all at once here.
Curiously, David has begun a habit: eating his shirt. He sucks on the sleeve of his shirt, or he chews on the shoulder. I have no idea why he does it, or how to get him to stop. This is also something that just started all at once.
Lastly, David has a puzzle of the solar system, that's huge, like 2 feet by 3 feet. He got it as a gift the other day. He loves to put it together. It's been interesting to watch him figure out which piece goes where. I've been teaching him how to organize the pieces according to color or what ever else might be on them, and by either the edge pieces or the middle ones. I do a lot of it but the more we work the puzzle together, the more he does. He still has trouble understanding how the edge pieces all go in the same direction to fit together, though. But I know he'll get it. Smart kid, that one.
In a separate park, later in the day, we encountered a different boy, who was at the top of a slide. David and I had discussed, because of the previous situation, what to do when he has a problem with another kid: Practice saying, "Go away!" or "Leave me alone!" or "Help me, daddy!" or "Excuse me!" We also talked about "The Rules": No Hitting, No Pushing, and No Kicking. Use your words. David tried the "Excuse me" line when the other boy wouldn't move out of the way, but he didn't respond. After a few times trying to get this boy's attention, I told David to tap the other boy's shoulder. But this other boy's parents told him to slide down the slide. I realized that this other boy must have some kind of disorder, since he wasn't speaking, and otherwise looked normal. I told David that this other boy's brain works differently than his, because the other boy wasn't talking. David wants to know why it works differently. I didn't know, just said that it does. Just like his own hand is different, or his eyes are blue and other people have brown eyes, and we don't know why. I asked David if there was another way he could communicate. David said he didn't know, so I said, "What about smiling?" Since everyone smiles, this seemed like a good thing. David was turning the idea about this kid being different over and over, exploring it, trying to figure it out, why the differences, what did it mean...
"They're there!" He loves it when he comes across things like that. He thinks this is so funny. "They" are Avery and Jared, and at they're at their house there.
We sat on Friday morning, watching the rain, before getting ready for school, in the morning light. David had asked to go outside and watch the rain. He and I sat and watched the world go by. He covered the two of us with his blanket.
I watched him at his school on Wednesday morning, and the other kids are "handsy", in that they all touch each other. I think part of what happens to David is that he gets "touched" (really, more like a slap on the back, or something that is more than a gentle or accidental touch), then gets very upset because he takes it personally. It just switches from 'fun' to insult/injury.
Wednesday night, David tells me he had a good day, but the teacher disagrees. After a few minutes, we realize that he did, in fact, have a good day, but only at the very end did he have an issue with another child. When he gets into "angry mode", he stops listening. It's very hard to deal with him when he gets that way. We're working on helping him to handle his anger, and how to listen. He has a new "teacher", Ms. Ky. (pronounced like "hi") It's short for something, but I don't remember. I'm also working on rewards that aren't treats. I'd like some suggestions on a daily thing, stickers...something where I can reward him that isn't food. Also, David was looking forward to getting to go to Rachel's on Thursday: he is now able to keep up with the days of the week. Smart kid!
David likes to wear 2 shirts when it's cold, but this week, it was finally warm! We took advantage of a beautiful day Tuesday to play with a ball outside. Spring just sort of happened all at once here.
Curiously, David has begun a habit: eating his shirt. He sucks on the sleeve of his shirt, or he chews on the shoulder. I have no idea why he does it, or how to get him to stop. This is also something that just started all at once.
Lastly, David has a puzzle of the solar system, that's huge, like 2 feet by 3 feet. He got it as a gift the other day. He loves to put it together. It's been interesting to watch him figure out which piece goes where. I've been teaching him how to organize the pieces according to color or what ever else might be on them, and by either the edge pieces or the middle ones. I do a lot of it but the more we work the puzzle together, the more he does. He still has trouble understanding how the edge pieces all go in the same direction to fit together, though. But I know he'll get it. Smart kid, that one.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
David Weekly, V3 - 8
I tell David to wake up on his own, so he doesn't get the morning shivers that happen when I wake him up. So he does, and tells me so: "I wake up on my own so I don't shiver." It has nothing to do with how warm or cold it is, but more to do with being awakened, rather than doing it yourself. This is what happens to me sometimes.
Wednesday morning he was mad because I went in to wake him up, even though he was awake, just not all the way. But no shivers.
This is why Learning Space is so great: Monday, David had a great day. So Rachel picked him up, and he got to go Avery and Jared's house. Rachel told me that he rewarded himself directly by going into her pantry and getting himself a few cookies. He reported to her that he gets treats if he's good at school. Tuesday, not a great day, so no special treats, no trip to Rachel's, or even the park. Wednesday, he had a good day. Ms. Nadine tells me she thinks that when David eats a good lunch, and then sleeps at naptime, he is much better able to stay in charge of his hands, and not lose his temper, and not hit. I have also been working with him on using his words, in particular: "Go away!" and "Leave me alone!" But he did not want to even practice saying these things with me, saying he wanted to go to school to do it, but guess what? He didn't want to practice there, either. I have to remind myself that it's a process, but we are making progress. More good days than bad days. I like that.
Another benefit of David's new daycare: he is back in dance! Ms. Nadine was successful in getting enough parents to want their kids to dance, so the Judy Bernard Dancers are back to teaching David to dance.
David wants a pet. In particular, he wants a pet pig. Why does he want a pet pig? Because they don't poop. But they do live in mud, so we have to make mud, and the way you make mud is take dirt and water and mix them together. I was told this one day recently. It was a very informative tone of voice that he gave me. And well thought out, it would seem.
So that's a week.
Wednesday morning he was mad because I went in to wake him up, even though he was awake, just not all the way. But no shivers.
This is why Learning Space is so great: Monday, David had a great day. So Rachel picked him up, and he got to go Avery and Jared's house. Rachel told me that he rewarded himself directly by going into her pantry and getting himself a few cookies. He reported to her that he gets treats if he's good at school. Tuesday, not a great day, so no special treats, no trip to Rachel's, or even the park. Wednesday, he had a good day. Ms. Nadine tells me she thinks that when David eats a good lunch, and then sleeps at naptime, he is much better able to stay in charge of his hands, and not lose his temper, and not hit. I have also been working with him on using his words, in particular: "Go away!" and "Leave me alone!" But he did not want to even practice saying these things with me, saying he wanted to go to school to do it, but guess what? He didn't want to practice there, either. I have to remind myself that it's a process, but we are making progress. More good days than bad days. I like that.
Another benefit of David's new daycare: he is back in dance! Ms. Nadine was successful in getting enough parents to want their kids to dance, so the Judy Bernard Dancers are back to teaching David to dance.
David wants a pet. In particular, he wants a pet pig. Why does he want a pet pig? Because they don't poop. But they do live in mud, so we have to make mud, and the way you make mud is take dirt and water and mix them together. I was told this one day recently. It was a very informative tone of voice that he gave me. And well thought out, it would seem.
So that's a week.
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