So Thursday was quite a day for the boy. We had a visit to the Shriners, and then we went to his teacher conference. I had discussed with David what we'd talk to the doctor about two things: his feelings about his hand, and the possibility of surgery.
Basically, the doctor says that David's hand is fine, and if anything, surgery would make his hand worse, not better; that there is very little likelihood of him passing on his condition to any children he might have, although it might still be a good idea to speak with a genetic counselor (but that's way down the road). The doctor told me that most kids who have a similar type of condition as David usually are more well-adjusted and more mature, do better in school and that kind of thing. What the doctor looks for at this point is to make sure that the skin and the bone are growing at the same rate. If there comes a point where David's bones are growing faster than his skin and he can't stretch his fingers as far as before, then surgery might be a possibility. But for now, we're on another 2 year schedule for the next appointment. He has full functionality in his hand, and there is nothing to "fix". This is how he grew, and he will continue to be that way.
I asked one of the support staff if there is any kind of group where the kids get together to talk about their issues, but it doesn't seem that there's much call for it, or whatever...Instead, there are a few resources online that I will research. Maybe I'll just get him into a regular counseling, if he shows that he still has trouble.
Also had David's conference Thursday. The first nine-weeks focuses on behavior, rather than academics. David's behavior is improving, says Ms. Perez. She also read me off a list of things that David can do from his assessment, such as count to 104, or that he knows 54 letters. It would seem that g and a have different typographical conventions depending on the font of the book he might be reading. The other 26 x 2 letters are upper and lower cases. I asked Ms. Perez about the fact that David will be done with the rubric for kindergarten by the time Christmas rolls around, and she said that, while the school doesn't like it, they can put him in the gifted program. It would seem that if they did, it would be more toward the end of the year. I'm ok with that. She did also say that he is more mature than others in his class...Ms. Perez told me that David can be sent to work with the first graders in the 2nd half of the year to do some things, such as reading. Ms. Perez assured me that he will remain challenged throughout the year. She showed me a list of sight words he's supposed to know, and he knows words that the class hasn't gone over yet...I told David that because he's smart, he will have to work harder than he would otherwise. I don't want him to think that just because he's smart he can skate along. I want him to work hard for himself. We have trouble at night sometimes, getting him to do his "homework", and Ms. Perez says she'll support me, since David fights me on the homework front, by whining, or not doing a good job like he can. He doesn't like that I'm redirecting him sometimes. Other times, he gets right to it.
Meanwhile...it's been a bit cool in the mornings, and David has been wearing a sweatshirt or a jacket to school. One day, I told him it was warm again, and that he didn't need the extra warmth, but he insisted, until we got outside, and discovered that it was indeed warm enough...and said, "I think I made a mistake," rather sheepishly. I, of course, was impressed at his ability to admit to being wrong. He doesn't always do it, but it was good none-the-less.
Last week, David had a terrible week at HOST. He had 3 X marks on the calendar. He jumped on a little girl because she had something David had wanted, and when I asked him why he did that, he said that she was "making teamwork" with another little boy, and he was being taunted about not having a bottle or something (I'm not sure what), and eventually lost his cool. Naturally, I had a big problem with that, and so did the HOST people. The thing is, David was still clearly not being properly supervised - to the point that he was getting taunted and then could attack someone. This really upset me, of course, and I decided that HOST isn't working out. David does well for a week or two, then has some kind of major issue. So I've decided to enroll him in a Taekwondo after-school program, with the hope/expectation that he can learn to channel his anger when he gets angry, and that he will learn some self-discipline as well. I know it's a slow process of change, and I know he's only been at HOST for a month, but two major incidents in that period tells me that it's not right for him. I do have to expect more of this from him, sadly. That's also a reason for the new after-care: they will have the ability and resources to handle his behavior issues.
And David had a "moment": We were watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", and it was on regular TV. David says, "But we can watch it any time..." and he points to the DVD...
Have a good week, everyone...
Friday, October 29, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
David Weekly, V3 - 30
Forgot last week to say that you read one of your dinosaur board books to your kindergarten class, which of course impressed me. You took the book out of my hand when I was going to read it to you, and you read it instead. So I asked you if you wanted to read it to your class, or Ms. Perez, and you said you would. One of the books we got you for your reward the other day has some pretty detailed information about dinosaurs, and I think it's a great book because it says new things about dinosaurs that I never knew before, and gives a better idea of the time period. I'm trying to get you to learn the time period: Mesozoic Era is the big time frame, and is divided up into 3 parts. Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods. And you are doing well to learn that. So what is the Mesozoic? "The time of the dinosaurs." You're learning. :-)
You have homework each month: 10 out of 15 assignments that have to be done by the end of the month, so you do about 2 - 3 per week. Usually on the weekends, and it takes about 10 minutes per item. But I like that the latest list has "read for 15 minutes with your family each night." :-) We do that now already, so we got that covered!
Saturday we went canoeing with Cinnamon. For a long while you kept saying how scared you were, and how you wanted to turn back, but I just wouldn't let you. I kept telling you that you'd have to wait, or kept trying to distract you by asking about different dinosaurs, or having you look for turtles. You kept saying you were afraid of alligators, but there are none in that area, and besides, we were in a boat that they would have stayed away from, so we were safe. Eventually, after we got back to her parents' house, you said, "I liked canoeing!"
Monday, you told me all about HOST, even to the point of saying, "I like HOST." (For my readers: HOST is the new after school care that I have David enrolled in) What you told me is that you did "homework", and had a snack, and that you had fun. What I liked most was that when I got there, you were playing "Memory". I talked to one of the adults there and made sure that they knew you needed to have structure, and it sounds like they are doing what you need: giving you that structure, making sure there are things to do, teaching you how to play nice. You said that you were called a sore loser, and we talked about how not to be a sore loser, since learning how to win and lose gracefully will help you in the long run. I'm glad you had a good first day, and I look forward to many more good days. I do shudder to think about what a bad day will look like. I know it will happen; I just don't know when. And I hope that I'm wrong.
Another thing I think you'll like is that my friend James called me to ask about your issue with getting picked on at Learning Space, and how to handle it. The answer is that I just don't know. I did move you to a new place that might help. I think that the kids pick on you partly because you're so smart. I guess that means maybe I should try to get you around other kids who value learning, and achieving...I don't think you're socially mal-adjusted, or somehow different from the other kids. You are super competetive (as I just talked about), which can get in your way. I also think that getting appropriate supervision is good for you, and I think you need it more than most. I also worry about how you might have to deal with it later in your life (like when you're a teen-ager, or even a pre-teen), but then again, I hope that you'll have matured in such a way that it won't be a problem for you. I always thought you'd get picked on about your hand, but it seems to me that it's something else, like the fact that you're probably a lot smarter than the other kids. I do have a concern that in many ways you'll have mastered the rubric for kindergarten by the time Christmas rolls around. Then I don't know what you'll do. You can count to 100 already (I heard you in the car the other day; you were trying to figure out how long it took for us to get somewhere), and you know your letters and numbers, and can read...but you still have a long way to go. I would like to see you knowing all the sounds of the letters, and able to apply that to new words. I know you'll get there...
You got a progress report a couple of weeks ago that I keep forgetting to mention, you got it about 1 month after starting, and naturally it says you Need Improvement on Following Directions, Respecting Others, and Practicing Self Control. There is no academic progress, because it would seem that part of kindergarten is to teach behavior, and not just academics...But another couple of weeks has gone by, and you're already doing much much better. You've had two straight weeks of Green, and Ms. Perez told me in your agenda that you going to HOST should help as well.
By Wednesday, though, I understand you're writing "Think Sheets" on which you write what you did wrong, and then write what you should have done. This is definitely better than Time Out. The problem is that you are getting called names, but I don't know why, and I don't know how to get you not to respond to that, or how to teach you to deal with it. I hate that it's causing you problems...
Thursday, to my very great surprise and alarm, you got a Discipline Letter. Basically, it was to warn me that you might get suspended from HOST for a day because of your behavior. This did not sit well with me. I was very upset with you! I told you that you have to figure it out! Talk to the teacher, whatever you have to do. Jesse was over on Thursday night as well, and she talked to you about keeping your hands to yourself. I did some major talking to people. I sent an email to the school principal, and Mrs. Shaffer, and Ms. Perez about the situation with HOST, because I don't want you suspended, and I want you very well supervised, as I was promised by Ms. Tara, the head of HOST. I got a response on Friday, and we'll just have to wait and see. You had a good day on Friday, you said. And no Discipline Letter. I'm going to make sure to talk with her on Monday. I need from her the effort she promised me.
Meanwhile, you lost your tooth! You have a big ol' gap on the lower part of your gums, but at least it feels better for you. You put it under your pillow, and the Tooth Fairy gave you $5! You said that you can't spend that money, that you have to save it, because Avery told you so. I figure you must have had that conversation on Tuesday when you were with her and Jared. Separately, you told me what an onomatopoeia is: word that makes sounds.
Lastly, you went to the Museum of Science and Industry, and the important part of that trip to you was that you rode on the bus, and ate pizza for lunch, instead of what I sent with you. I guess I need to really ask you want you saw there, or what you did. Ask you why you went...
So I'm typing this, late at night...and now I'm signing off. I love you, kid...
Your Dad...
You have homework each month: 10 out of 15 assignments that have to be done by the end of the month, so you do about 2 - 3 per week. Usually on the weekends, and it takes about 10 minutes per item. But I like that the latest list has "read for 15 minutes with your family each night." :-) We do that now already, so we got that covered!
Saturday we went canoeing with Cinnamon. For a long while you kept saying how scared you were, and how you wanted to turn back, but I just wouldn't let you. I kept telling you that you'd have to wait, or kept trying to distract you by asking about different dinosaurs, or having you look for turtles. You kept saying you were afraid of alligators, but there are none in that area, and besides, we were in a boat that they would have stayed away from, so we were safe. Eventually, after we got back to her parents' house, you said, "I liked canoeing!"
Monday, you told me all about HOST, even to the point of saying, "I like HOST." (For my readers: HOST is the new after school care that I have David enrolled in) What you told me is that you did "homework", and had a snack, and that you had fun. What I liked most was that when I got there, you were playing "Memory". I talked to one of the adults there and made sure that they knew you needed to have structure, and it sounds like they are doing what you need: giving you that structure, making sure there are things to do, teaching you how to play nice. You said that you were called a sore loser, and we talked about how not to be a sore loser, since learning how to win and lose gracefully will help you in the long run. I'm glad you had a good first day, and I look forward to many more good days. I do shudder to think about what a bad day will look like. I know it will happen; I just don't know when. And I hope that I'm wrong.
Another thing I think you'll like is that my friend James called me to ask about your issue with getting picked on at Learning Space, and how to handle it. The answer is that I just don't know. I did move you to a new place that might help. I think that the kids pick on you partly because you're so smart. I guess that means maybe I should try to get you around other kids who value learning, and achieving...I don't think you're socially mal-adjusted, or somehow different from the other kids. You are super competetive (as I just talked about), which can get in your way. I also think that getting appropriate supervision is good for you, and I think you need it more than most. I also worry about how you might have to deal with it later in your life (like when you're a teen-ager, or even a pre-teen), but then again, I hope that you'll have matured in such a way that it won't be a problem for you. I always thought you'd get picked on about your hand, but it seems to me that it's something else, like the fact that you're probably a lot smarter than the other kids. I do have a concern that in many ways you'll have mastered the rubric for kindergarten by the time Christmas rolls around. Then I don't know what you'll do. You can count to 100 already (I heard you in the car the other day; you were trying to figure out how long it took for us to get somewhere), and you know your letters and numbers, and can read...but you still have a long way to go. I would like to see you knowing all the sounds of the letters, and able to apply that to new words. I know you'll get there...
You got a progress report a couple of weeks ago that I keep forgetting to mention, you got it about 1 month after starting, and naturally it says you Need Improvement on Following Directions, Respecting Others, and Practicing Self Control. There is no academic progress, because it would seem that part of kindergarten is to teach behavior, and not just academics...But another couple of weeks has gone by, and you're already doing much much better. You've had two straight weeks of Green, and Ms. Perez told me in your agenda that you going to HOST should help as well.
By Wednesday, though, I understand you're writing "Think Sheets" on which you write what you did wrong, and then write what you should have done. This is definitely better than Time Out. The problem is that you are getting called names, but I don't know why, and I don't know how to get you not to respond to that, or how to teach you to deal with it. I hate that it's causing you problems...
Thursday, to my very great surprise and alarm, you got a Discipline Letter. Basically, it was to warn me that you might get suspended from HOST for a day because of your behavior. This did not sit well with me. I was very upset with you! I told you that you have to figure it out! Talk to the teacher, whatever you have to do. Jesse was over on Thursday night as well, and she talked to you about keeping your hands to yourself. I did some major talking to people. I sent an email to the school principal, and Mrs. Shaffer, and Ms. Perez about the situation with HOST, because I don't want you suspended, and I want you very well supervised, as I was promised by Ms. Tara, the head of HOST. I got a response on Friday, and we'll just have to wait and see. You had a good day on Friday, you said. And no Discipline Letter. I'm going to make sure to talk with her on Monday. I need from her the effort she promised me.
Meanwhile, you lost your tooth! You have a big ol' gap on the lower part of your gums, but at least it feels better for you. You put it under your pillow, and the Tooth Fairy gave you $5! You said that you can't spend that money, that you have to save it, because Avery told you so. I figure you must have had that conversation on Tuesday when you were with her and Jared. Separately, you told me what an onomatopoeia is: word that makes sounds.
Lastly, you went to the Museum of Science and Industry, and the important part of that trip to you was that you rode on the bus, and ate pizza for lunch, instead of what I sent with you. I guess I need to really ask you want you saw there, or what you did. Ask you why you went...
So I'm typing this, late at night...and now I'm signing off. I love you, kid...
Your Dad...
Saturday, October 2, 2010
David Weekly, V3 - 29
David loves dinosaus. He can tell you all about them, with surprising detail. He also loves stickers. He put a bunch of dinosaur stickers on his arms and said "I'm all stickered up!" Later on, however, he found, to his chagrin, that stickers don't stay on his skin very well...but it's these particular dinosaur stickers that aren't particularly sticky. But he loves his dinosaur sticker book, and it's a real challenge for him to take the stickers off one page, and then put them on the appropriate page...The stickers are in groups, and they say what page to put them on, and then what he has to do is match the sillhouette with the sticker he's got. I'm frequently called over to help.
Someone suggested that I write the David Weekly TO David as an adult looking back, instead of his mom, so I'm going to try that in this post.
Dear David,
You have a tendency to want to shout in my ear, to make sure I hear you. You're such a cutie, but you hate it when I give you too many kisses. It's hard in the mornings for you, to wake up, because you have no desire to go to sleep at night when it's bed time. We read books most nights, and we go through the Highlights Magazine for 5 year olds (High 5 is what it's called). The nights we don't read, it's because it's too late, and you're usually asleep anyway. I was so proud of you the other night, for being able to point out the words I wasn't reading. Now, either you could read them, or you've heard me say that enough that you just know what they are. The cool thing though is that you could point to where the words are on the page. Nice job. You've also let me know not to "over praise" you. So I'm just supposed to tell you, "Good Job!" and leave it at that, and not make a bigger deal about things.
So we went to lunch w/ Mimi today (Sunday), and she told you ahead of time that you need to sit still at the table. She said later that you behaved well (even if you were driving me a bit crazy). While at the restaurant, we watched football on TV, and you were able to describe a "sack" in football. "It's when the other team attacks, and knocks the other guy down," is what what you said. Mimi was impressed that you were able to so well describe a major football play, after only having told you once. So we went to the water park in Zephyrhills. Then after that, we went back to Mimi's and played in her pool, and made a whirlpool. That was a lot of fun.
Saturday you got to meet my aunt Bette. You did not know what to make of this, and it was far too much for you to deal with. You were saying over and over that you didn't want to look at her, or for her to see you or look at you...you warmed up after a little while, but getting there was rough. I told you that I have an aunt just the same way as you.
Another thing we did on Saturday is buy you books as your reward for doing well at school, with all Greens for your behavior at school. The books were all about Dinosaurs. You rejected books about stories, and went straight, hard-core non-fiction. We got a very detailed book about dinosaurs that is still appropriate for your age, and got a "Dinosaur train" book. I bought you Peter Pan (a Little Golden Book, not the Disney one), because I still want to share some adventures with you, since little boys need to exercise their imaginations. I told you that your imagination is important, since the first dinosaur bones that were found required imagination to put together. You didn't like that, and are having a hard time with it.
We went to Burger King on Friday night for dinner, also as part of your reward. But we had gotten a girl toy from the kid's meal, so we had to stop back by on Saturday and get the boy version, which made you happy. We went to a garage sale and you asked a lady who had Munchkins on her table if you could have one, and she said yes. So we went to another garage sale and complained (loudly) that they didn't have any donuts. So the guy there went into his house and got you a small chocolate milk (which was very generous of him). When you were done with the chocolate milk, you asked where the trash was! I was so proud of you. Made me feel like I've done something right in raising you.
Your swim lesson went great on Monday. And you did something while you were at the lesson that impressed me, and was exactly what I've been asking you to do: walk away. Another little boy in your swim class was touching you, wanting to play with the goggles you had on, and you kept telling him to stop touching you. And then, of your own accord, you moved out of his reach, and kept using your words: "Don't touch me!" He continued to do this, and you kept moving away and using your words. And you were well supervised enough that the swim teacher stopped him before it caused a much bigger problem. On the way home, you were telling me that "I think" means "maybe." I had trouble disputing that. At the very least, it means "I'm not sure" and you're not committing to that thought. You also told me that you got a green at school...
Wisdom from you: "kids need to have parents, so they don't go out on the street and maybe get killed".
Tuesday you got to spend with Avery and Jared...and you had a good time, like always.
Wednesday and Thursday, though, you had some major "explosions" as I call them, at Learning Space. You've been getting Green at Kindergarten, but when you have these problems at Learning Space I don't know how to reward you, and still give you the message that your behavior at daycare is unacceptable. We had a major discussion on Wednesday, about you vs your brain, for causing the behavior issues, and I just said you have to own your behavior, that if you get angry, you can just be angry, that you're allowed this emotion, but you also have to own your feelings, and what you do with your body. We made some progress on this front, because at least you quit saying it wasn't your fault. You owned it. By the way, what you did was specific: you were getting picked on by kids at daycare, and then naturally wanted to strike back at them. The problem is that even after being told not to, you went back to go hit them anyway, then you wanted to hit Ms. Nadine and Jesse! I think on Thursday you had less difficulty, but still, far too much! I asked you if you wanted to switch daycares, so I enrolled you in the school's after-school program. We'll see how you do there. Hopefully that will be a more controlled atmosphere. I'm very sad to make this change, but it's for what I believe is your best interest. You need structure, and hopefully you'll get that. I do also regret that you won't be doing dance this year, but I may still work on getting you involved in that somehow. We'll see what happens.
Last thing for this week: You're done w/ swimming lessons! You got a certificate and a ribbon, and a promotion. So I enrolled you in another swimming class. You're able to swim a little bit, and I know you'll get better! I love you, David...See you next week...
Your dad.
Someone suggested that I write the David Weekly TO David as an adult looking back, instead of his mom, so I'm going to try that in this post.
Dear David,
You have a tendency to want to shout in my ear, to make sure I hear you. You're such a cutie, but you hate it when I give you too many kisses. It's hard in the mornings for you, to wake up, because you have no desire to go to sleep at night when it's bed time. We read books most nights, and we go through the Highlights Magazine for 5 year olds (High 5 is what it's called). The nights we don't read, it's because it's too late, and you're usually asleep anyway. I was so proud of you the other night, for being able to point out the words I wasn't reading. Now, either you could read them, or you've heard me say that enough that you just know what they are. The cool thing though is that you could point to where the words are on the page. Nice job. You've also let me know not to "over praise" you. So I'm just supposed to tell you, "Good Job!" and leave it at that, and not make a bigger deal about things.
So we went to lunch w/ Mimi today (Sunday), and she told you ahead of time that you need to sit still at the table. She said later that you behaved well (even if you were driving me a bit crazy). While at the restaurant, we watched football on TV, and you were able to describe a "sack" in football. "It's when the other team attacks, and knocks the other guy down," is what what you said. Mimi was impressed that you were able to so well describe a major football play, after only having told you once. So we went to the water park in Zephyrhills. Then after that, we went back to Mimi's and played in her pool, and made a whirlpool. That was a lot of fun.
Saturday you got to meet my aunt Bette. You did not know what to make of this, and it was far too much for you to deal with. You were saying over and over that you didn't want to look at her, or for her to see you or look at you...you warmed up after a little while, but getting there was rough. I told you that I have an aunt just the same way as you.
Another thing we did on Saturday is buy you books as your reward for doing well at school, with all Greens for your behavior at school. The books were all about Dinosaurs. You rejected books about stories, and went straight, hard-core non-fiction. We got a very detailed book about dinosaurs that is still appropriate for your age, and got a "Dinosaur train" book. I bought you Peter Pan (a Little Golden Book, not the Disney one), because I still want to share some adventures with you, since little boys need to exercise their imaginations. I told you that your imagination is important, since the first dinosaur bones that were found required imagination to put together. You didn't like that, and are having a hard time with it.
We went to Burger King on Friday night for dinner, also as part of your reward. But we had gotten a girl toy from the kid's meal, so we had to stop back by on Saturday and get the boy version, which made you happy. We went to a garage sale and you asked a lady who had Munchkins on her table if you could have one, and she said yes. So we went to another garage sale and complained (loudly) that they didn't have any donuts. So the guy there went into his house and got you a small chocolate milk (which was very generous of him). When you were done with the chocolate milk, you asked where the trash was! I was so proud of you. Made me feel like I've done something right in raising you.
Your swim lesson went great on Monday. And you did something while you were at the lesson that impressed me, and was exactly what I've been asking you to do: walk away. Another little boy in your swim class was touching you, wanting to play with the goggles you had on, and you kept telling him to stop touching you. And then, of your own accord, you moved out of his reach, and kept using your words: "Don't touch me!" He continued to do this, and you kept moving away and using your words. And you were well supervised enough that the swim teacher stopped him before it caused a much bigger problem. On the way home, you were telling me that "I think" means "maybe." I had trouble disputing that. At the very least, it means "I'm not sure" and you're not committing to that thought. You also told me that you got a green at school...
Wisdom from you: "kids need to have parents, so they don't go out on the street and maybe get killed".
Tuesday you got to spend with Avery and Jared...and you had a good time, like always.
Wednesday and Thursday, though, you had some major "explosions" as I call them, at Learning Space. You've been getting Green at Kindergarten, but when you have these problems at Learning Space I don't know how to reward you, and still give you the message that your behavior at daycare is unacceptable. We had a major discussion on Wednesday, about you vs your brain, for causing the behavior issues, and I just said you have to own your behavior, that if you get angry, you can just be angry, that you're allowed this emotion, but you also have to own your feelings, and what you do with your body. We made some progress on this front, because at least you quit saying it wasn't your fault. You owned it. By the way, what you did was specific: you were getting picked on by kids at daycare, and then naturally wanted to strike back at them. The problem is that even after being told not to, you went back to go hit them anyway, then you wanted to hit Ms. Nadine and Jesse! I think on Thursday you had less difficulty, but still, far too much! I asked you if you wanted to switch daycares, so I enrolled you in the school's after-school program. We'll see how you do there. Hopefully that will be a more controlled atmosphere. I'm very sad to make this change, but it's for what I believe is your best interest. You need structure, and hopefully you'll get that. I do also regret that you won't be doing dance this year, but I may still work on getting you involved in that somehow. We'll see what happens.
Last thing for this week: You're done w/ swimming lessons! You got a certificate and a ribbon, and a promotion. So I enrolled you in another swimming class. You're able to swim a little bit, and I know you'll get better! I love you, David...See you next week...
Your dad.
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