Day 5?

It's day 3 of the week, but since David's been taking the Vyvanse since Friday...I'm lost. Last night, he was funny, in that his mood was sour. I picked him up early from TKD, and he was unhappy! And gave me attitude. When I was eating dinner he was angrily butting his head against my back, and doing a growl that seemed more like a purr...poor kid. I think maybe coming down off the meds is a problem for him. He did get another green at school. And Ms Gonzalez has added little hearts to say that kids do especially well, and David has two for the week. So we'll see how he does today. :-)

David Digest, V4 - 4

Rusty has been so busy with work and school that he hasn’t had a chance to write one of these for a while. I (Cinnamon – the girlfriend) decided to try to remember some of things he has told me in conversations so that there will be the record for David I know Rusty wants.

We’ll start with something recent. David woke up on his own and instead of waking Rusty up, he decided to get ready for school on his own. He got dressed and started making his lunch. From what I understand he did a pretty good job on it too. Very impressive for a 5 year old (then again, David is a very impressive boy).

This is just one of the ways that David is exerting his independence. Not too long ago he told his dad that he wanted to start riding the bus to school. Rusty explained to him that meant getting ready earlier and eating breakfast at school, but David really wanted to do it. So now David takes the bus to school in the morning. A good side effect of this is that he met some other kids around his age on his bus/bus stop from the neighborhood that he can play with. Up to this point they didn’t really know any of the other kids his age to play with, just a few older ones and that can be very frustrating for David. The little boy who lives across the street likes to play with David and Rusty, but isn’t at the age where he knows how to play with a 5 year old, but he tries.

David is doing really well with Tae Kwon Do after school. He has received his yellow belt and seems to take the instruction seriously. David had been doing a great job in school, not getting many behavior marks, but then when he came back from visiting his mother over spring break he started having a problem controlling himself again. Rusty decided the best course of action was to have the instructors at TKD look at his behavior notes from school and discipline him there. David was very, very unhappy with this idea. Rusty gave him one more chance to improve, but when the next day David still was having problems, Rusty did what he said he would. David may not have been happy, but whatever they do at TDK, it works. He may not be perfect (but what kid is) but the improvement was quick.

Speaking of Spring break – as I said, David got to go visit his mom and “sissy”. He really loves to visit his sissy. He says she defends him when people ask him about his hand. “He was born that way.” We think he really appreciates someone else saying it so he doesn’t have to keep doing it.

His mother also made an astute observation that David was using his “buddy” as a glove. He wraps it around his hand so it can’t be seen. Now a decision has to be made on if and when to take his buddy away. Rusty limits when he is allowed to take it out now. He allows David to bring it in the car, but won’t let him bring it in when we go places. Most of the time David is fine, he only seems to want it when he gets upset or bored.

David has also become a master of sorts at video games. He now has favorites on the Wii, the iTouch and the computer. I swear the boy knows how to operate my Wii better than I do. He likes driving games, but likes to switch off to other things sometimes. He plays a game on the iTouch where he solves puzzles that are associated with dinosaurs – which he loves. He’s good and loves to show off how well he does. He wants me to watch him play and when he gets through a level he tells me “I wasn’t even trying”.

Speaking of dinosaurs, Rusty, David, Mimi, Cayenne (my daughter) and I went to Animal Kingdom. They have a good size Dino area that David enjoyed. He could have (and wanted to) stay there the whole day. Rusty explained that we have to take turns getting to do things and he just accepted it – no fights- he understood. When he wanted to do things he would ask when his turn was and then wait patiently. It helped that he did seem to enjoy everything we did. We saw the Finding Nemo and Lion King shows and he was just mesmerized. He enjoyed seeing the animals (both in person and in a movie in the conservation area). The only time he really had any issues was when it rained and he wanted to not get wet. Even then he wasn’t having a fit or anything like he has in the past.

That seems like enough for now. I will end on a different note: Rusty has been working very hard in school. Last semester was a bear. I’m surprised he has any of his beautiful hair left the way he was pulling it out. He did a great job though and got excellent grades to show for it. So, even though he would love to be keeping up with these better – he’s doing what he can to make life better for him and David.

David Weekly, V4 - 1

Happy New Year! I'm not sure how often I'll put this out, but for now...

David got home January 2. He flew on the plane all by himself. He said it was awesome! He told me a little girl let him play w/ her Nintendo DS on the plane. He also said he didn't cry when his mom put him on the plane. In addition, he said he's willing to fly by himself going up and back. I'm not sure I want to allow that, since she was 30 - 45 min late picking him up at the airport. I can't imagine him at the airport for that long after him having been on a plane for two and half hours.

So we got home, and had Christmas. He opened up his presents, with Jared and Avery and Mimi and Cinnamon in attendance. David got a Hot Wheels race track, a 20 (or so) car pack, two different Leapster games, a couple of puzzles, a couple of different "blendy pen" sets, a Lego set which builds a passenger jet, Nano bugs (robotic bugs), a checkers set, a dinosaur set, a Scooby Doo pencil box, some DVD's - in particular "A Pup Named Scooby Doo" (2nd and 3rd seasons), a digital camera (so he can take pictures on his own camera), a remote control truck, a mini Slinky, and a few other things that I can't remember! It was a pretty good haul. It was a great day. Normally, David and Jared will fight after he gets home, but this time, they seemed to get along really well. David definitely seemed to have done better coming home this time.

The week has gone well for David, mostly. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, he had green, but then Thursday and Friday, it was orange. On Thursday, David got a wake-up call from Tae Kwondo. It would seem that he doesn't take it seriously, and doesn't know enough to be able to test for his next belt. So he won't be able to test on Jan 28, and only if he works will he be able to test at the end of February. I had to tell him that his going to Tae Kwondo isn't just babysitting, or day care, that it's another type of "school" and that he has to work on it if he wants to advance, and that he can't fool around. He also had a fight on Wednesday at Tae Kwondo, which did not make me happy to hear. So while his week began well, it ended difficultly, although Friday he had a good day in Tae Kwondo...Monday night we went to get some new clothes for David at the thrift store, and Tuesday night we went grocery shopping.

One of the biggest things I've been dealing with is Amanda's behavior while David is with her, and then David telling me that she says I don't take care of him. I tell him, "of course I take care of you. I just think your mom has a different idea of what that is..." Another thing is the fact that she kept the clothes I sent up there with him, because she thinks they're too small. I only sent two changes of clothes, but got none back. I double checked before he left to make sure everything fit. I guess I shouldn't be surprised or upset. I tell David that just because his mom thinks his clothes are too small doesn't mean that they are, that he can see for himself if they are too small or not. Another thing is her allowing Tait to call me names in front of David. David realized after he got home that he'd be missing Colleen's birthday, so he asked if he could call her. We did, he said Happy Birthday to her, and not much else. Amanda said that any time David wants to call, he can...but I don't see that happening.

Lastly, David had "Winter Homework" that I didn't expect to get done while he was up at the Missouri, so we finished it this week. David loves math! I find this to be a positive development, since I would like to steer him towards math, since I think that having that skill will lead to a better future for him. He's already good at reading anyway.

So that's a week...we'll see what happens next week!

Rusty

David Weekly, V3 - 35

I skipped 34 in my previous post. The David Weekly staff regret the error.

So David needs help: when he's turned himself upside down and backward on the couch...he calls me: Daddy! I need your help! Lately, though, it's on a video game he got last Christmas, but wasn't quite old enough to play. He can handle the frustration of not always winning a little bit better now than he could before, and he's old enough to get farther in the game, too...the game is the Sponge Bob controller game that plugs into the TV. It's a joystick and game all in the joystick. He plays it, jumps around, makes noise...it's a happy thing for him to have and to play. Except when he needs help. I help sometimes, and refuse other times, since I want him to stick to something he finds difficult and make it through. It works sometimes.

David Weekly, V3 - 34

David and I had the best time on Saturday! I let him sleep in, and then when he got up, we lazed around for a while...he'd been saying he wants to go the zoo, since we haven't been there in a while. But I had other plans! We went instead to the art festival, which is at the green park. We walked all around, saw different kinds of art. David was not interested in most of it, though. He did like the lady who was actually doing the painting of some scenes, and asking about the different brushes she uses, because he wanted her to use the big brush, but she told him she was doing the detail work with a smaller brush. And then we went to green park itself and went on the swings. Somehow, he managed to pinch himself on his arm. We went to find the First Aid, but there wasn't any, so we asked the police officer stationed there if he knew of anything. He said that he had some band-aids, and he gave us one. His arm didn't bleed at all, so that was a good thing.

Then, after the art festival and the green park, we went to a garage sale. I'm glad we did, because I was able to get a good bunch of books for about $5. David really likes the books we got. Dr. Seuss, and some others. After the garage sale, we went to the zoo. This time, though, we didn't really do our normal run-walk through the zoo. What did do is go to one of the aviaries, and then the "Australia" part, and got some lunch. David ate his hot dog and french fries. He played in the little play area for a while, and then we went to the goat petting area. He touched all the goats, then got a brush and brushed them, too. After that, David wanted to go back to the aviary we'd been to before, and then got the idea to run around the path. The way it's set up, it's a circle that you start at the entrance, then exit the circle through the exit. So we ran the path a couple of times. Then, David got the idea to have us run in opposite directions! He thought that was great! We did a lot of that, and for a while. But then it was time to go...so we went home, and he didn't fall asleep in the car on the way home, which surprised me. David was feeling pretty good, because he even let me have a turn with the TV, which he never does. Of course, I rarely want a turn with the TV, so that works out. Usually it's a major struggle to get him to let me watch something. Anyway. He likes to play "Jump into daddy's arms and get thrown on the couch." But that's fun, so we do that.

I also had him sit down to do his homework. Which he did! Then I had to go over it again with him, show him how to make his work neater. I told him about learning again, since he was so worried about it before. I'm doing my best to show him that learning is 1) Hard Work 2) practicing something you already know, but getting better at it 3) just plain and simple worth your time 4) not something you can only do in a classroom.

Another interesting thing is that David was telling me that he has to "respect Tae Kwondo" and that means respecting others. I'm feeling a bit better about the choice to put him in there. He is beginning to ingest those values that they are teaching. I'm not totally sure if that means his behavior is going to change, but at least he's got some value attached to what he's doing.

--

Skip a week or two -- I talked to my friend James, about the fact that I'm not sending these out weekly anymore - he suggests that I maybe change this to the David Digest, and just when it gets a certain amount of detail, send it out. Not a bad idea. I went away for a week, and had David stay with Jesse, and my sister, and my mom. David missed me a lot, my mom said. Rachel told me that the Monday I was gone, David had a terrible coughing fit, and that they were up all night. The rest of the week passed without incident that I'm aware of. I got back last Saturday, before Thanksgiving, and David was very happy to see me.

One of the benefits and curses of Thanksgiving is that kids are out of school. As a result, David ended up spending Sunday night w/ Mimi, and Tuesday night as well. Tuesday night when I called to check on him, he was telling Mimi that he misses me. Mimi has been a saint to keep David extra time this week for me. He went to Tae Kwondo on Tuesday. Tuesday night and Wednesday he spent with Mimi, and Jared and Avery. Mimi told me that they played whiffle-ball, and that David was pretty good at hitting the balls! David had a good time. Wednesday night was with me. Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, we went to Rachel's for turkey and dressing. Of course, David isn't very good at sitting at the table, sitting still, eating his food. Somewhere along the line, he went from eating everything, to eating not very much. He really enjoys playing with Avery and Jared a lot. At the table, he was singing a song that Rachel captured on video, of him singing what each animal says, and then saying it. "A lion goes roar, roar!" It was funny because then he sang about "a dinosaur goes roar, ROAR!!"

Lately, David "phonetically spells" words for me, by "syllable": 't - ur - tle', or 'D - a - vid' -- he pronounces words by sound, in a kind of spelling them out by sound way. He also will sit himself down to do his homework without me telling him to, which I see as a good sign. I'm finding that he can read, but only words that he knows, and that he doesn't know how to sound out unfamiliar words. I find this to be troubling, because it turns English into a language like Chinese - you just have to know the symbols as a unit, and not how they are pieced together. What counter-acts this is programs on PBS, like the Electric Company, which spends time explaining how to piece words together from smaller sound units.

He also likes to whisper things in my ear, rather than saying it out loud, even when it's not a secret. If anything, he doesn't seem to think of trying to tell me secrets.

We went for pictures the other day, and he behaved, mostly. It was a lot better than last time. If you would like some photos, just ask, and I'll send some. I only posted one on FB, but I have more. :-)

So there ya go, two weeks...

Rusty

David Weekly, V3 - 33

Acorns fall from the oak tree, and carpet the driveway. David asks me why we get home from Tae Kwondo at night, and I tell him it's because the time changed. In the mornings, he wakes up at 6:30 or so, because that's about sunrise, no matter what time he goes to bed. I pick him up from Tae Kwondo about 5:30 each night, except for Tuesdays. I have a class that night that I must attend, so he goes with Rachel.

His behavior this week: Almost all green. He got into a fight on Wednesday at Tae Kwondo, and even though he got a green at kindergarten, I made him put orange for the day, because he wasn't good all day. He was very upset about that, and really cried. What did he get into a fight about? At the Tae Kwondo place, he has to put his backpack and lunchbox in a cubbie, but it falls out. So two other children (more advanced, and older) were teasing him in some way, probably playing keep-away. He fought them to get it back. It was good to hear that he wasn't the only one punished. I told him that he needs to take better care of his things to keep that from happening again, and that he needs to involve an adult. Enough repetitions will make this get through to him, right?

I told David that I will take him to an art festival on Saturday, and he said he'd rather go to school so he can learn things. I told him that he learns all kinds of things not in school, like how to talk, and all about dinosaurs. I said that he can learn by going to see art, to see what people are trying to say through pictures. And by practicing what he's learned by doing homework. He still hates his homework, and I don't see that changing. I did realize that I really have to work with him to get him motivated to practice and do things. But it feels right, and he seems to like it, too.

Another thing I told David is that next week, I'm going on a big boat, but that he's staying home. I've got a schedule all worked out: Monday, I take him to school. Monday night and Tuesday night, Rachel will pick him up, and drop him off at school Tuesday morning and Wednesday morning. Jesse will then pick him up Wednesday night and Thursday night, and drop him off at at school Thursday morning and Friday morning. And then Mimi will pick him up Friday night. I will be back on Saturday, and pick him up from Mimi on Saturday afternoon. David is upset that he won't be going with me. I told him that I need for him to be a bit more mature, and to be able to handle himself better before I can take him somewhere like that. Ms. Perez was telling me that part of the way he introduces himself to others is to "throw his weight around" by being physical with the other kids.

Finally, David got his report card with just behavior, and at the same time, he received an award for Perfect Attendance, and Good Citizenship. The Good Citizenship is a bit of a suprise, but according to the notice I got, he has no "behavior indicators." I have no idea what that exactly means, but it's a good thing, and I'll take it.

So there ya have it. A very pedestrian week. Hope yours is uneventful in all the good ways.

David Weekly, V3 - 32

My friend James brought to my attention something I said last week: David's maturity level and academic achievement will be on par or more advanced that others in his peer group.

David's last swim lesson was October 30. He graduated to the next group, but we'll be waiting until the spring (probably April) for more swimming lessons.

Meanwhile, Halloween with David was a blast! We spent Halloween at Mimi's. David was very excited to be giving out candy, and was very parental, in that he would instruct the other kids who were getting candy to "Say Thank You! You're supposed to say Thank You." He was counting the kids as they would come, and announcing it to me: "We need 3 pieces of candy!" or "There's 4 kids!" He had me bring him the candy, so that he could give it out. Eventually, it got dark, and we headed out. David was saying that he really doesn't want to celebrate Halloween, because he doesn't like that it's scary. I told him that he's celebrating it anyway, by giving out candy, and by going trick-or-treating himself, and that it was ok to be scared, which is what it's partly about.

What scared David: insane clowns, super skeleton masks, grave-yards...David said that the best part of Halloween was giving out the candy. When we were walking along, he would skip houses, and I'd have to remind him that he's out to get candy! And then he would go get some. Another thing is that he refused to let me take pictures of him, or if he did let me, then he would make faces. Too funny, that kid. Finally, I told him at one point how happy I am that he's in my life, and that I have him for my son, and he says, very simply, "We're connected, daddy." Made me about cry. I'm amazed at how profound he can be.

So Monday morning, David was asking me about "times", as in, 2 x 3. Trying to explain this to him, while I'm taking a shower, is not easy. In the car on the way to school, I figure it out: "if you do something once, how many times did you do it?" Then I went to twice, three times, four times...and I think he got it a little bit. I also told him that this is hard, and he has to work to understand, and not fight me on it. That also seemed to make a bit of a dent, since he was a bit more receptive to what I was trying to tell him.

The rest of the week flew by: Measured by his discipline gems (his behavior in school), he got three greens and two oranges. So, a good week, but not a great one.

David started his Tae Kwondo after-school program, and managed to get his white belt "early": by the end of the week. That means that his behavior was really good. It's a good thing since usually kids get their white belt during the first week or two, but David earning it even one day early says good things. He's learned rather quickly to ask for permission to leave (when he sees me, he doesn't just leave without telling anyone), and he bows to the teacher before getting his stuff.

David was also telling me about "Intervention", which is where he got the oranges. Intervention, I found out later, is simply like a reading group, but it's not, because reading groups are part of "centers"...which I don't completely understand all of this. I think maybe sometime soon I'll take a day to get to know the deep inner workings of kindergarten, because, even Ms. Perez says it's too complicated.

Friday night was hard for him, since I had to stop by and give Mimi his clothes and stuff for the weekend, because he stayed with her. She told me later that David very loudly proclaimed: "I love my daddy more than anyone else in the whole world!" He was merely upset that he wasn't going home with me...poor kid. But he had fun with Mimi.

That's a week with lots missing.

Rusty

David Weekly, V3 - 31

So Thursday was quite a day for the boy. We had a visit to the Shriners, and then we went to his teacher conference. I had discussed with David what we'd talk to the doctor about two things: his feelings about his hand, and the possibility of surgery.

Basically, the doctor says that David's hand is fine, and if anything, surgery would make his hand worse, not better; that there is very little likelihood of him passing on his condition to any children he might have, although it might still be a good idea to speak with a genetic counselor (but that's way down the road). The doctor told me that most kids who have a similar type of condition as David usually are more well-adjusted and more mature, do better in school and that kind of thing. What the doctor looks for at this point is to make sure that the skin and the bone are growing at the same rate. If there comes a point where David's bones are growing faster than his skin and he can't stretch his fingers as far as before, then surgery might be a possibility. But for now, we're on another 2 year schedule for the next appointment. He has full functionality in his hand, and there is nothing to "fix". This is how he grew, and he will continue to be that way.

I asked one of the support staff if there is any kind of group where the kids get together to talk about their issues, but it doesn't seem that there's much call for it, or whatever...Instead, there are a few resources online that I will research. Maybe I'll just get him into a regular counseling, if he shows that he still has trouble.

Also had David's conference Thursday. The first nine-weeks focuses on behavior, rather than academics. David's behavior is improving, says Ms. Perez. She also read me off a list of things that David can do from his assessment, such as count to 104, or that he knows 54 letters. It would seem that g and a have different typographical conventions depending on the font of the book he might be reading. The other 26 x 2 letters are upper and lower cases. I asked Ms. Perez about the fact that David will be done with the rubric for kindergarten by the time Christmas rolls around, and she said that, while the school doesn't like it, they can put him in the gifted program. It would seem that if they did, it would be more toward the end of the year. I'm ok with that. She did also say that he is more mature than others in his class...Ms. Perez told me that David can be sent to work with the first graders in the 2nd half of the year to do some things, such as reading. Ms. Perez assured me that he will remain challenged throughout the year. She showed me a list of sight words he's supposed to know, and he knows words that the class hasn't gone over yet...I told David that because he's smart, he will have to work harder than he would otherwise. I don't want him to think that just because he's smart he can skate along. I want him to work hard for himself. We have trouble at night sometimes, getting him to do his "homework", and Ms. Perez says she'll support me, since David fights me on the homework front, by whining, or not doing a good job like he can. He doesn't like that I'm redirecting him sometimes. Other times, he gets right to it.

Meanwhile...it's been a bit cool in the mornings, and David has been wearing a sweatshirt or a jacket to school. One day, I told him it was warm again, and that he didn't need the extra warmth, but he insisted, until we got outside, and discovered that it was indeed warm enough...and said, "I think I made a mistake," rather sheepishly. I, of course, was impressed at his ability to admit to being wrong. He doesn't always do it, but it was good none-the-less.

Last week, David had a terrible week at HOST. He had 3 X marks on the calendar. He jumped on a little girl because she had something David had wanted, and when I asked him why he did that, he said that she was "making teamwork" with another little boy, and he was being taunted about not having a bottle or something (I'm not sure what), and eventually lost his cool. Naturally, I had a big problem with that, and so did the HOST people. The thing is, David was still clearly not being properly supervised - to the point that he was getting taunted and then could attack someone. This really upset me, of course, and I decided that HOST isn't working out. David does well for a week or two, then has some kind of major issue. So I've decided to enroll him in a Taekwondo after-school program, with the hope/expectation that he can learn to channel his anger when he gets angry, and that he will learn some self-discipline as well. I know it's a slow process of change, and I know he's only been at HOST for a month, but two major incidents in that period tells me that it's not right for him. I do have to expect more of this from him, sadly. That's also a reason for the new after-care: they will have the ability and resources to handle his behavior issues.

And David had a "moment": We were watching "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown", and it was on regular TV. David says, "But we can watch it any time..." and he points to the DVD...

Have a good week, everyone...

David Weekly, V3 - 30

Forgot last week to say that you read one of your dinosaur board books to your kindergarten class, which of course impressed me. You took the book out of my hand when I was going to read it to you, and you read it instead. So I asked you if you wanted to read it to your class, or Ms. Perez, and you said you would. One of the books we got you for your reward the other day has some pretty detailed information about dinosaurs, and I think it's a great book because it says new things about dinosaurs that I never knew before, and gives a better idea of the time period. I'm trying to get you to learn the time period: Mesozoic Era is the big time frame, and is divided up into 3 parts. Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods. And you are doing well to learn that. So what is the Mesozoic? "The time of the dinosaurs." You're learning. :-)

You have homework each month: 10 out of 15 assignments that have to be done by the end of the month, so you do about 2 - 3 per week. Usually on the weekends, and it takes about 10 minutes per item. But I like that the latest list has "read for 15 minutes with your family each night." :-) We do that now already, so we got that covered!

Saturday we went canoeing with Cinnamon. For a long while you kept saying how scared you were, and how you wanted to turn back, but I just wouldn't let you. I kept telling you that you'd have to wait, or kept trying to distract you by asking about different dinosaurs, or having you look for turtles. You kept saying you were afraid of alligators, but there are none in that area, and besides, we were in a boat that they would have stayed away from, so we were safe. Eventually, after we got back to her parents' house, you said, "I liked canoeing!"

Monday, you told me all about HOST, even to the point of saying, "I like HOST." (For my readers: HOST is the new after school care that I have David enrolled in) What you told me is that you did "homework", and had a snack, and that you had fun. What I liked most was that when I got there, you were playing "Memory". I talked to one of the adults there and made sure that they knew you needed to have structure, and it sounds like they are doing what you need: giving you that structure, making sure there are things to do, teaching you how to play nice. You said that you were called a sore loser, and we talked about how not to be a sore loser, since learning how to win and lose gracefully will help you in the long run. I'm glad you had a good first day, and I look forward to many more good days. I do shudder to think about what a bad day will look like. I know it will happen; I just don't know when. And I hope that I'm wrong.

Another thing I think you'll like is that my friend James called me to ask about your issue with getting picked on at Learning Space, and how to handle it. The answer is that I just don't know. I did move you to a new place that might help. I think that the kids pick on you partly because you're so smart. I guess that means maybe I should try to get you around other kids who value learning, and achieving...I don't think you're socially mal-adjusted, or somehow different from the other kids. You are super competetive (as I just talked about), which can get in your way. I also think that getting appropriate supervision is good for you, and I think you need it more than most. I also worry about how you might have to deal with it later in your life (like when you're a teen-ager, or even a pre-teen), but then again, I hope that you'll have matured in such a way that it won't be a problem for you. I always thought you'd get picked on about your hand, but it seems to me that it's something else, like the fact that you're probably a lot smarter than the other kids. I do have a concern that in many ways you'll have mastered the rubric for kindergarten by the time Christmas rolls around. Then I don't know what you'll do. You can count to 100 already (I heard you in the car the other day; you were trying to figure out how long it took for us to get somewhere), and you know your letters and numbers, and can read...but you still have a long way to go. I would like to see you knowing all the sounds of the letters, and able to apply that to new words. I know you'll get there...

You got a progress report a couple of weeks ago that I keep forgetting to mention, you got it about 1 month after starting, and naturally it says you Need Improvement on Following Directions, Respecting Others, and Practicing Self Control. There is no academic progress, because it would seem that part of kindergarten is to teach behavior, and not just academics...But another couple of weeks has gone by, and you're already doing much much better. You've had two straight weeks of Green, and Ms. Perez told me in your agenda that you going to HOST should help as well.

By Wednesday, though, I understand you're writing "Think Sheets" on which you write what you did wrong, and then write what you should have done. This is definitely better than Time Out. The problem is that you are getting called names, but I don't know why, and I don't know how to get you not to respond to that, or how to teach you to deal with it. I hate that it's causing you problems...

Thursday, to my very great surprise and alarm, you got a Discipline Letter. Basically, it was to warn me that you might get suspended from HOST for a day because of your behavior. This did not sit well with me. I was very upset with you! I told you that you have to figure it out! Talk to the teacher, whatever you have to do. Jesse was over on Thursday night as well, and she talked to you about keeping your hands to yourself. I did some major talking to people. I sent an email to the school principal, and Mrs. Shaffer, and Ms. Perez about the situation with HOST, because I don't want you suspended, and I want you very well supervised, as I was promised by Ms. Tara, the head of HOST. I got a response on Friday, and we'll just have to wait and see. You had a good day on Friday, you said. And no Discipline Letter. I'm going to make sure to talk with her on Monday. I need from her the effort she promised me.

Meanwhile, you lost your tooth! You have a big ol' gap on the lower part of your gums, but at least it feels better for you. You put it under your pillow, and the Tooth Fairy gave you $5! You said that you can't spend that money, that you have to save it, because Avery told you so. I figure you must have had that conversation on Tuesday when you were with her and Jared. Separately, you told me what an onomatopoeia is: word that makes sounds.

Lastly, you went to the Museum of Science and Industry, and the important part of that trip to you was that you rode on the bus, and ate pizza for lunch, instead of what I sent with you. I guess I need to really ask you want you saw there, or what you did. Ask you why you went...

So I'm typing this, late at night...and now I'm signing off. I love you, kid...

Your Dad...

David Weekly, V3 - 29

David loves dinosaus. He can tell you all about them, with surprising detail. He also loves stickers. He put a bunch of dinosaur stickers on his arms and said "I'm all stickered up!" Later on, however, he found, to his chagrin, that stickers don't stay on his skin very well...but it's these particular dinosaur stickers that aren't particularly sticky. But he loves his dinosaur sticker book, and it's a real challenge for him to take the stickers off one page, and then put them on the appropriate page...The stickers are in groups, and they say what page to put them on, and then what he has to do is match the sillhouette with the sticker he's got. I'm frequently called over to help.

Someone suggested that I write the David Weekly TO David as an adult looking back, instead of his mom, so I'm going to try that in this post.

Dear David,

You have a tendency to want to shout in my ear, to make sure I hear you. You're such a cutie, but you hate it when I give you too many kisses. It's hard in the mornings for you, to wake up, because you have no desire to go to sleep at night when it's bed time. We read books most nights, and we go through the Highlights Magazine for 5 year olds (High 5 is what it's called). The nights we don't read, it's because it's too late, and you're usually asleep anyway. I was so proud of you the other night, for being able to point out the words I wasn't reading. Now, either you could read them, or you've heard me say that enough that you just know what they are. The cool thing though is that you could point to where the words are on the page. Nice job. You've also let me know not to "over praise" you. So I'm just supposed to tell you, "Good Job!" and leave it at that, and not make a bigger deal about things.

So we went to lunch w/ Mimi today (Sunday), and she told you ahead of time that you need to sit still at the table. She said later that you behaved well (even if you were driving me a bit crazy). While at the restaurant, we watched football on TV, and you were able to describe a "sack" in football. "It's when the other team attacks, and knocks the other guy down," is what what you said. Mimi was impressed that you were able to so well describe a major football play, after only having told you once. So we went to the water park in Zephyrhills. Then after that, we went back to Mimi's and played in her pool, and made a whirlpool. That was a lot of fun.

Saturday you got to meet my aunt Bette. You did not know what to make of this, and it was far too much for you to deal with. You were saying over and over that you didn't want to look at her, or for her to see you or look at you...you warmed up after a little while, but getting there was rough. I told you that I have an aunt just the same way as you.

Another thing we did on Saturday is buy you books as your reward for doing well at school, with all Greens for your behavior at school. The books were all about Dinosaurs. You rejected books about stories, and went straight, hard-core non-fiction. We got a very detailed book about dinosaurs that is still appropriate for your age, and got a "Dinosaur train" book. I bought you Peter Pan (a Little Golden Book, not the Disney one), because I still want to share some adventures with you, since little boys need to exercise their imaginations. I told you that your imagination is important, since the first dinosaur bones that were found required imagination to put together. You didn't like that, and are having a hard time with it.

We went to Burger King on Friday night for dinner, also as part of your reward. But we had gotten a girl toy from the kid's meal, so we had to stop back by on Saturday and get the boy version, which made you happy. We went to a garage sale and you asked a lady who had Munchkins on her table if you could have one, and she said yes. So we went to another garage sale and complained (loudly) that they didn't have any donuts. So the guy there went into his house and got you a small chocolate milk (which was very generous of him). When you were done with the chocolate milk, you asked where the trash was! I was so proud of you. Made me feel like I've done something right in raising you.

Your swim lesson went great on Monday. And you did something while you were at the lesson that impressed me, and was exactly what I've been asking you to do: walk away. Another little boy in your swim class was touching you, wanting to play with the goggles you had on, and you kept telling him to stop touching you. And then, of your own accord, you moved out of his reach, and kept using your words: "Don't touch me!" He continued to do this, and you kept moving away and using your words. And you were well supervised enough that the swim teacher stopped him before it caused a much bigger problem. On the way home, you were telling me that "I think" means "maybe." I had trouble disputing that. At the very least, it means "I'm not sure" and you're not committing to that thought. You also told me that you got a green at school...

Wisdom from you: "kids need to have parents, so they don't go out on the street and maybe get killed".

Tuesday you got to spend with Avery and Jared...and you had a good time, like always.

Wednesday and Thursday, though, you had some major "explosions" as I call them, at Learning Space. You've been getting Green at Kindergarten, but when you have these problems at Learning Space I don't know how to reward you, and still give you the message that your behavior at daycare is unacceptable. We had a major discussion on Wednesday, about you vs your brain, for causing the behavior issues, and I just said you have to own your behavior, that if you get angry, you can just be angry, that you're allowed this emotion, but you also have to own your feelings, and what you do with your body. We made some progress on this front, because at least you quit saying it wasn't your fault. You owned it. By the way, what you did was specific: you were getting picked on by kids at daycare, and then naturally wanted to strike back at them. The problem is that even after being told not to, you went back to go hit them anyway, then you wanted to hit Ms. Nadine and Jesse! I think on Thursday you had less difficulty, but still, far too much! I asked you if you wanted to switch daycares, so I enrolled you in the school's after-school program. We'll see how you do there. Hopefully that will be a more controlled atmosphere. I'm very sad to make this change, but it's for what I believe is your best interest. You need structure, and hopefully you'll get that. I do also regret that you won't be doing dance this year, but I may still work on getting you involved in that somehow. We'll see what happens.

Last thing for this week: You're done w/ swimming lessons! You got a certificate and a ribbon, and a promotion. So I enrolled you in another swimming class. You're able to swim a little bit, and I know you'll get better! I love you, David...See you next week...

Your dad.

David Weekly, V3 - 28

Well, it's been an interesting week for David. He got Green all week at school, so he should be rewarded, right? Well, instead, he actually put a knot in a kid's forehead at daycare on Wednesday! So we didn't go to the swimming lesson since I spent time talking to Ms. Nadine, and asked her to keep him occupied, engaged, structured, whatever, so he wouldn't do that to other kids. The next two days (Thursday and Friday) were better at daycare...So Wednesday I had him in time out most of the night, to let him know how serious it was that he did the hitting thing. He was very unhappy, but I think I got the message through.

Monday, however, something else happened daycare: David broke his tooth. Now, normally I don't take this very seriously when he says he "breaks his tooth/teeth" because it's usually him just jarring, and it hurts, then it's over. And it's on a regular basis. But this time, he has a tooth that's actually loose! It's the right front lower incisor, and I think I'm going to take him to the dentist tomorrow if possible, because it hasn't gotten any better. At first I thought it was a genuine loose tooth, but he's a bit young for that, and then he described how some other kid's head came into contact with his tooth to loosen it that way. The part I haven't been able to figure out is the lack of blood, or notice from the daycare. I'm still pondering whether to keep him there, just because he is such a challenge, and they don't seem equipped to deal with his need for structure, but at the same time, Ms. Nadine gives him credit for showing genuine remorse for having caused the first kid with the knot on his head any pain. And she seems willing to put up with him, which I know is a challenge. I was playing with him Friday night, and I continue to gain insight into his behavior. He would take random objects to use as "tools" to gain advantage with me, and even would use his nails...I had to remind him over and over not to do that, not to pick that up while we're playing, because that's not playing! And back to his loose tooth: I was impressed at first that it was loose, and when I told him it would come out eventually, this invited many more tears from him. Poor kid.

Thursday night was his open house. He took great pleasure in showing me around his school. Folsom is two storeys, so he went up and down every staircase, and also went up and down the elevator. We also played the drums they had, and I bought David a "sweet", as he calls it. We were given a rubric for what he's supposed to accomplish by the end of kindergarten, and from what I see he should be done w/ kindergarten by Christmas.

David tells me that he's doing capital letters, and lower case letters at school. He finished his 10 homework items out of the 15 choices, so we're good! And his first field trip will be to MOSI in the first week of October. I also got a progress report from the teacher, and it was all about his behavior needing improvement...as if we didn't know...

So that's another week. We do swimming lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays, he goes to his aunt's house on Tuesdays...the kid is busy. At swimming lessons he doesn't relax, but instead he panics, doesn't trust his own ability to swim. I hear him splutter and cry when she "forces" him to do what he seems to know how to do then doesn't do it...but this is why we have the lessons, so he'll learn.

I hope things are well with you.

David Weekly, V3 - 27

One of the biggest struggles I have with David is homework. He has the memo book with the 15 assignments, of which he must do 10 before the month is out. So we try to do a few each week, so that we pace ourselves, and make sure to get it done. And yet, somehow, we've managed to do 3 this week. David has discovered that they're not that hard, so he just does them with less fuss. It's becoming a more positive experience. One of the items on David's list is to write a sentence using the word "am". So he wrote, "I am a dinosaur." And the reason for this is that the dinosaurs are supposed to read it, so that way they know who _they_ are, because it would seem that if they didn't read that, they wouldn't know that they were dinosaurs. I love kid logic.

I haven't said exactly what Ms. Perez's discipline system is. It's green for a good day, orange for a single warning, yellow for two or more warnings, and red for a really bad day. Ok, now that I think of it, I did put this last week, but it bears repeating, because David had only one green day. He had a red day, too. It would seem that a little boy pulled a book out of David's hands, and so David hit the other kid. He goes to see Ms. Schaefer every so often. I need to set up another appointment to discuss his behavior, so I can get a handle on what they talk about.

Another thing I've figured out with David's anger issues and fighting. He just doesn't feel satisfied until he gets that hit in. I have to figure out how to give him an alternate way "getting in that hit" without actually him hurting someone...

David was late to school for the first time, and did not want to be in the office to get that tardy slip. He now has a better idea of the penalty for being late, and it motivates him to move when I tell him we'll be late. I wish I could figure out a penalty sufficient to where he'll remember it when he's about to hit someone.

Monday night we had our swim lesson. David plays. Instead of watching the other kids swim (there are 3 or 4 kids, depending on the day, including him), he plays with the toys or whatever. I told him he can learn in two ways: either by watching, or by practicing, or by both...but he wasn't interested. Towards the end of the lesson, his teacher took the "sink or swim" approach, and David swam. He was very very scared, and was crying after he got out of the water...later on I told him that he swam, but I don't think he believed me. He was too focused on being scared. Wednesday night he did better. I stayed away from the immediate area where he was, since I was proving to be a distraction. I was able to watch from a distance, and he did pretty well. He will get the swimming thing, but it will just take time.

For David's lunch, I've switched from PB&J to Lunchables. He seems to like that better, since they have a dessert! He still forgets his lunchbox at school on a regular basis.

Random note: David has suddenly become very interested in money, and coins in particular. I was trying to figure out why, and it turns out that there is a fundraiser of some sort at this school, and they were wanting to put money into the milk jug in his classroom. So he got a decent sized fistfull of change, and put it into the thing when we got to school...

Friday night, he and I went to the beach, in spite of his behavior. He got a flu shot on Friday as well, and cried and cried. Poor kid. He did not want that shot. Dr Sams gave me some ideas on handling his behavior, and it integrates nicely with having the two different "days" each day (school vs daycare). It involves "strikes", which I can use one strike (or two for a red day at school), and a strike for daycare, and then a strike for anything else after he gets home. But I rarely have problems with him at home...

So anyway, we went to the beach. He's been really scratching his legs lately, so when he went in the salt water, OUCH! He was in a lot of pain, and was crying...and then we went to wash it off at the showers they have at beach entrance, and then he was ok with going back in the water. He really liked playing in the waves! He even got covered by the water once or twice, but didn't really complain.

David misses his sissy. He tells me that he reads the way she does, which is simply by looking at the book, but not saying anything. "I read my book the way my sissy does," he says.

So there's a week for you. Hope things are well on your end...

David Weekly, V3 - 26

David's first day of school went really well! I asked him what he ate for lunch, and he says, "well, I thought about eating the green beans, but I just decided to eat the cake..." Naturally, I told him he needs to eat more than just the cake. David has decided this: "I don't like kindergarten food." So now, I'm packing his lunch. Peanut butter and jelly every day, but he never eats the fruit that I send. What has to happen for him to eat more of his lunch? Also, I did take a few pictures of him on his first day of school.

While David was gone to Amanda's, I received very little information regarding him, what he was doing, what his routines were, etc. It was distressing to not really get a lot of information, especially hearing from David long after the fact that he got kicked out of one of the summer camps he seems have been going to. So, I asked for her for information on what they did for 5 weeks, what his routines were, etc. I was not really prepared for the response I got. It bordered on the paranoid, with her accusing me of having some other motive than simple curiosity for asking all the questions I did. So I've struggled over the last few weeks about how to handle this. I need to keep writing the DW, but I realize now that I can no longer share it with her, nor with any of her family. I don't know if they'll miss it, or if they even read it. I will soldier on, and keep writing about David, in all his wonderfulness and challenge.

David had his first swim lesson on Wednesday, September the 8th, at the YMCA. That morning, he was worried that I would forget his swim trunks, so he made sure I had them before we left for school. Then he was asking if we were going to the swim lesson instead of school. He also told me that he had some kind of swimming something at one of his camps, but I wasn't able to make sense out of it. I would ask Amanda, but she refuses to tell me anything about what happened w/ David in Missouri, making some claim to privacy. So I just won't know.

At the swim lesson, we got rained out. We were there for about 15 min, actually, before the rain and thunder and lightning really started. On the way home, it was a vocabulary lesson! "It's raining," David says. We were making distinctions between "hard rain" vs. "light rain" vs. "sprinkling". He was pretty thorough about it, too.

Last Friday (Sept 3), I had an appointment with the guidance counselor, and Ms. Perez, to discuss David's behavior. He got a red one day, and I realized that I need to work with the teacher and the counselor early to figure out his behavior issues. I think part of it is simply delayed adjustment time after having been with his mom. He's been drawing pictures in school, and they have his Sissy in them. He seems to be missing her. We're going to be working on Respect, as Ms. Perez says that's a big thing in her classroom, and I also will be asking Learning Space to be consistent with that message. Naturally, I look to reinforce this at home, too. The GC speculates that some of his behavior issues may be from bullying or teasing (for example, David being told by another boy that he doesn't like dinosaurs, even though he obviously does), and his only way of dealing with it is to smack the other kid. Ms. Nadine says that David will sit in time out, then go hit the other kid after time out is over, if he feels that he hasn't yet settled the score. Ms. Perez says that the behavior she's seen doesn't appear to be malicious. The GC said she may try to spend some time with him after observing him in class, to see what else she might suggest. She's new, and when I asked her if she had any book recommendations, she had none. She did suggest also, that we target specific behaviors, which we're doing now anyway. She was pleased at the calendar system we have to keep track of what's going on.

Meanwhile, Ms Perez's discipline system is: green, no warnings; orange, one or two warnings; yellow, three warnings; red - lots of trouble, serious disrespect. I see every day what his behavior looks like. It is a bit more nuanced that good day/bad day, so I'm having trouble figuring out a "reward" for particular behaviors, if it's not green. The other problem is that he now has two different sources of both good and bad behavior, since, for example, he got a green at kindergarten, and then had a Very Bad Day at Learning Space. How do I handle that? I don't know.

Thursday, David got into a major fight at daycare, so much that he got a scratch on his face, and an incident report to go with it. I don't know what to do about his behavior. Last week I had to get him out of daycare, because Ms. Nadine couldn't handle him. This is the first time that this has happened. She has been so wonderful to be dealing with his major behavior issues. In spite of that, I may have to move him. There's only so much she can tolerate. I may move him anyway, since it may also just be the environment. I ask him why he hits, and he blames it on his brain, or his body, as if they are separate from him...or he just says, "I don't know." I talk to David a lot about his behavior. I really put him through the ringer on the day I had to leave work early to get him. We got home and he stay in his room for a very long time, until he figured out how to answer my questions, about why, why, why...and give me details about it...and then he fell asleep, and slept for 14 hours. At one point, he did wake up for about 30 minutes. I fed him some dinner, and then back to sleep he went.

Another challenge we have is genuine, true to life, homework. He has a list of 15 things, of which he must do 10, during the month of September. They are things like, "Try to write a sentence with the word 'can' in it." Or, "Draw four things that begin with the letter A." David then picked Apple, Allosaurus, Ankylosaurus, and Alligator. He had to write the words, too. I made him get one of his dinosaur books with the dino names, so he could spell them the right way. It was a struggle, though, to get him to attempt to draw anything. But hey, one assignment down, 9 to go, right?

There is so much that's happend in two weeks, and I know I'm missing a lot of it. I guess I should talk about his new routine in the mornings now: either I will awaken him, or he wakes himself up. We change into that day's clothes (these last two weeks we have a list of colors to wear for that day, as part of a lesson in school - we refer to it every day, and occasionally argue about what day it is, since Ms Perez got the days and dates a bit mixed up. David reads the list without letting on that he is, which is part of why we argue), and he tells me what kind of cereal he wants to eat for breakfast. About 20 min later, we're out the door, about 7:45. It's about 10 min from the house to the school. He sometimes tells me he wants me to drop him off, but then at the last minute says "walk me in." So we walk in every day, I leave him at the door. He goes in the room, and POOF! I don't exist.

So that's two weeks, with most of one week missing. I think I've also decided to go back to Fridays as the release date of this, as it seems to make more sense to me, and gives me less of an excuse to put it off.

letter to amanda

Well Amanda, you finally did it. You finally have really pissed me off. I asked you about information about what happened with my son when he was with you, and you basically have the nerve to tell me it's none of my business. I've been so angry that I don't know what to do with myself, or the David Weekly. But I think I know what I'm going to do. I'm simply going to keep writing it, with you in mind, but you're not going to get it anymore. I still don't know if I should send it to either set of grandparents. I worry that they would just send it to you. It sucks for them, assuming that they like getting it...I have an idea, at least, that Matt and Virginia read it, because I asked them, and they said they did. I don't know about the other family, the Kenneys...I don't know if Nancy reads it, what she thinks, or anything. I don't know if Frank reads it, or cares.

So all of those people, who really have nothing to do with your contention that David needs "privacy" between households at the age of 5, aren't going to get to hear about David anymore, if they even read it. Instead, just like you, they're going to get an unexplained silence. I'm sure that you'll talk bad about me to them regarding this. But I guess I'm just going to have to deal, because you clearly don't value communication between 2 adults, whose most important concern should be the child. I have done everything I can to keep you in the loop regarding him, and you never respond, never ask questions, never want to know anything more. All of this is bad for David. I will keep writing the David Weekly because it's still the best thing for him. He will have a record of his life like few people have. He will have a record of his life that will protect him from getting taken away from his father...If you want to know what's going on in his life, I will send you things, if you ask. I will no longer provide you with his schoolwork, nor will I do anything to help you. If you want to see David this Christmas, you will have to come down here to get him, and you will have to bring him back here. I'm done.

"Conversation" between me and Amanda

Honestly, all of that information I would expect that he would tell you if he wanted you to know. This feels a lot like you're digging looking something, though I have no idea what, and given the tone of your last "digest", I see no reason to indulge your curiosity.

In what way are you hoping to benefit from the information? As far as where he went to camp, what he did, and what we did on the weekends, that's not exactly super confidential information. Anyone on my facebook page can see it. It was there for you to see if you were interested. Which is also that the way you're asking now sounds phony and conniving. Also, what's the thinking behind wanting to know his morning and evening routines?

There is still the question of how much boundaries between households should he be allowed? I never tell him not to tell you anything that he does or doesn't do up here. There must be a reason he would be unwilling to tell you something, so I don't feel comfortable betraying his confidence without more of an explanation, again, especially given the tone of your last "digest".

Why the disappearance of the "keyserver database"?

--- On Tue, 8/24/10, Russell Hires wrote:

From: Russell Hires
Subject: Re: While David was with you...
To:
Date: Tuesday, August 24, 2010, 2:30 PM

I'm not asking for a daily accounting, but how about some of the high-lights, like, just a brief accounting of where he went to day camp, what kinds of activities they do there, his bed-time routine, mornings, what you did on the weekends, if he saw any of his other extended family.


On Aug 24, 2010, at 1:29 PM, - wrote:

I didn't say that, I just want to know what stuff you're sending me in email first. What exactly are you wanting to know? It's odd that he doesn't want to tell you? We do need to decide how much privacy and separation we're going to allow him as he grows.

--- On Tue, 8/24/10, Russell Hires wrote:

From: Russell Hires
Subject: Re: While David was with you...
To:
Date: Tuesday, August 24, 2010, 12:19 PM

It just says that it's me, that you check against a keyserver database, it's proof of my identity, that the email was sent by me. I guess you're not going to tell me what happened for 5 weeks while David was with you?

On Aug 24, 2010, at 9:55 AM, - wrote:

That doesn't tell me what it is?

--- On Tue, 8/24/10, Russell Hires wrote:

From: Russell Hires
Subject: Re: While David was with you...
To:
Date: Tuesday, August 24, 2010, 6:20 AM

It's just something I wanted to get back to. I had done this a long time ago, and thought it interesting to do again. So can you give me some kind of run-down on what you guys did for 5 weeks?

On Aug 24, 2010, at 7:15 AM, wrote:

What's up with the PGP signed message stuff in your emails lately?

--- On Mon, 8/23/10, Russell Hires wrote:

From: Russell Hires
Subject: While David was with you...
To:
Date: Monday, August 23, 2010, 10:08 PM

-----BEGIN PGP SIGNED MESSAGE-----
Hash: SHA1

Hey...could I get some kind of idea what David was up to for the 5 weeks he was up there? I really have no clue, and he doesn't really want to say much, and I don't feel that I should ask him a bunch of questions...He did tell me about getting kicked out of camp, and you did tell me about the beads and him handling his behavior, but I don't really know much more than that. Can you fill me in?

Thanks.

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Version: GnuPG/MacGPG2 v2.0.14 (Darwin)

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Zk8AoORncO0SNjST0L1Su2BVUcUKQv8t
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David Weekly, V3 - 25

Hello all! I hope your summer has been good. Now that he's back, I've been preparing David for kindergarten. Strangely, he doesn't seem all that excited about it.

By the way, I think I might switch sending these out on Sunday nights, rather than Friday nights. We'll see how that goes.

I went to St Louis to pick David up at the airport. Amanda pulled up at the drop off, and told me that David had had a hard day, wondering why he couldn't stay at the Missouri, why he couldn't go to the same school as his sissy...and crying at various points. When he saw me, he looked like he'd been crying already, and then cried some more. I just went to him and held him for a while, and told him I understand about mixed feelings, wanting to stay, and wanting to go, and that it’s hard. I asked him if he’d eaten, and he said no, so I tried to distract him by asking what he wanted to eat. He said a sandwich...but he was ready to go, so I told him to give his mommy a hug and a kiss before we go, so he did, crying the whole time, and then he took my hand, and we walked slowly into the terminal. After a few more minutes, he brightened up a bit, which made it easier to get through security. As we were walking through the terminal, he told me that he got kicked out of one of his camps, for hitting/fighting. This was a bit of a surprise for me, of course, but he said it all like it wasn't a big deal. I talked to him about not hitting, asking why he fights, and so on...he knows better, but I don't think he can help himself. The plane was late getting to the airport, then the pilot was late getting to the airport, but not too too late, so we just hung around the terminal, and decided to eat the sandwiches we bought later, rather than on the floor in the waiting area by the boarding gate. David had fun watching the planes take off and land, and asked me again about what kind of plane we're getting into, the big one or the small one? I tried to explain, as we were taking off, how the plane we were in was shrinking, but he wasn't buying it. Surprisingly, David stayed awake on the plane the whole flight, and even when we were driving home in the car he stayed awake. Finally got home around 10 PM, and he fell promptly asleep. He never did eat the sandwich. But he did play with the little games they give the kids on the plane, and colored, and after a while I let him play a game on Cinnamon's iTouch (that she let me borrow for this trip).

The next day, Sunday, we went to Rachel's house, played with Avery and Jared all day. He is much less afraid of the water, and while it doesn't seem that he'd had swimming lessons, it did seem like did spend more time in the water. He is much better able to handle being around Avery and Jared, as he is catching up with them in terms of his maturity. They'll always be older than him of course, but he's so much more out of the baby stage that it makes a huge difference in his ability to interact. They played very well, and didn't ever fight, except play fighting.

On Monday, he went back to day care, and had a good day. He went back in there, as if he'd never been away.

On Tuesday, David discovered his leapster. And then played on it, a lot. He really likes it. He also wanted to play "light sabers" which consists of us hitting them against each other. The thing is, he can do this for an hour without stopping.

Wednesday, went to the YMCA to sign David up for swimming lessons. Since he hadn't had any over the summer, I figure that now is the time to get this done, before it gets cold, and then maybe we'll do a refresher in the late spring. He's also a member now, so he can be involved in other activities, like soccer. He was excited about that, but kept saying, "I already know how to play that game." I simply told him that it's just a fun thing to do, not a "learn how to do it" kind of thing. That seemed to mollify him. He also did not want to get his picture taken for the ID card. Refused refused. Some more convincing and cajoling on my part took place, and eventually, he was sitting down and smiling for the camera. He told me that he doesn't like his picture taken because he doesn't like the way he looks. I told him that he looks fine, and is the cutest kid ever.

Friday, David had two doctor appointments, one with Dr. Siegel the allergist, and another with Dr Sams, for his well-care/birthday/annual checkup. Dr Siegel said things are ok, and Dr Sams said the same thing! David is now 45 pounds and 45 inches tall, has 20/20 vision, his ears looked good, and is in the 90th percentile for height, and 75th percentile for weight. He had to urinate into a cup, which caused him some consternation, as he just didn't want to do it! But I figured out a way to get him to go...but the worst part was the prick to his thumb to test for anemia (he's in the perfectly normal range). The prick to his thumb was TRAU-MATIC. He cried and cried and it was the worst thing in the world! He didn't like his skin being broken like that, and while I know it hurts, it was almost too much for him. He didn't really know what was going on at first, even after the pin-prick, until the nurse squeezed to get the blood. It's at this point that he began to wail...poor kid! And he cried for a while, and wanted a band-aid, and his crying was loud! Even though I tried to shush him a little bit, calm him down...he wasn't having it. He did settle down finally, and then I took him to the day care...where he had 5 check marks this week! As part of his reward, I bought him two books. He was very happy about this!

Friday night we went to his school's Open House, to meet his teacher, and to get a feel for what the routine is going to be, and what the school will be like. His teacher is going to be Ms Perez, and she is a third year teacher. I asked the school about grades; there will not be any for the 1st nine weeks. After that, I will copy report cards and send them on...

Saturday he and I went on a few errands to get some things for school, and then to go hang out at Rachel's and go swimming again. We all had fun.

Sunday was a workday for me, so I went to work, and he was babysat...and that's a week.

Rusty

David Weekly, V3 - 24

David had his birthday party at Dinosaur World on Saturday, and it was hot! He wasn't afraid of the dinosaurs the same way he was last year, except that he was still afraid of the T. Rex. Along one of the paths, Jesse found a blue salamander, and the kids all got to see it, and touch it before it ran off into the woods. There was a giant puzzle near the entrance that he got to take apart and put back together. It was at least as big as he is! He had a lot of fun! Because of how hot it was, David was actually asking me for a bath when he got home. He said to me, quite loudly, "This party is awesome!" I think he liked his Dinosaur World trip. :-) His cake was a dinosaur cake that we got at Publix, and he loved it! It had little dinosaur figurines on it, and a volcano and a little lake/pool on the other end. In the center was chocolate pudding, and the cake itself was chocolate. We had his party in a "cave", which is a picnic area inside a tunnel made to look like a cave, and it had some picnic tables in there... David thought that was awesome, too. It was dark and "echo-y", which the kids loved. David invited about as many adults as kids. The kids were Jacob (a boy David met through Jesse, because she babysits David and Jacob), Sebastian, Shawn, Avery, and Jared. But he wanted Jesse to be there, and Mimi, and Rachel, and Cinnamon. I asked him about inviting anyone from his school, and he didn't think of anyone he'd like to have along.

Of course, David got some presents. Here's what he got: A leapster, with a Nemo game to go with it, a Cars "ninja knockout" track set, a book called "Dinosaur Days", Transformers Blendy-Pens, lots of beach stuff (a pail and shovel, and bag for carrying stuff, a frisbee, some water balls to throw around, and a couple of other things), a sticker book about dinosaurs, a read-in-the-dark story book (with flashlight), a 3D dinosaur puzzle, some nice clothes, some puzzles, and some "science stuff" - a Sponge Bob bag, with a butterfly net, binoculars, a flashlight, and a bug collection case.

David had a great week for his birthday week. He got a special hat on his actual birthday at his school, and he wore it proudly. He also said something interesting: he's a big boy now, so doesn't need his buddy anymore. Well, maybe he needs it at night for sleeping, he said, and for in the car...but not for school. I told Ms. Tiffany about that, and she was happy, because it apparently causes problems at the school. He had second thoughts by the next day, wanting to bring the buddy to school, but I reminded him to stay strong, and that he's a big boy now, and doesn't need it as school. I told him that it must be a good thing because he got check marks all week for his behavior, so we went to McDonald's for his special treat on Friday. The issue with the buddy was an on-going discussion all week long, both before and after school.

We went to Chuck E Cheese's on Tuesday, his actual birthday. He'd been building up the idea that I would have the day off, and he'd not have to go to school...but I wasn't able to get the day off, and after I explained this to him, he was ok. He loved playing in the tubes that are ceiling level, and go over about a quarter of the restaurant. Another child was celebrating his birthday with a party there, and the rat (mouse?) comes out and "sings" and pays special attention to the birthday child and such. Now, a side note here. We had just gotten our pizza, and were sitting down to take a bit when the show got started. I got up to see what it was, but David figured it out before I did, and he actually brought my plate with my pizza on it to me to take to another table that was closer. It wasn't his plate, it was mine! He soooo much wanted to see the thing. I let him sit and watch, and I moved our stuff to the table, so he could stay. Interestingly, he expressed no envy or jealousy of this other child's celebration.

July first, a Thursday, David wakes up and says "It's July, daddy!" He's really keeping up with the days of the week, and the dates that go with them. He's also really liking to count. He can count to 100 mostly by himself. He seems to miss the number 7 sometimes, and skips it, going from 6 to 8, in each group of 10, and I have to remind him of each 10 ('fifty' 'sixty' 'seventy' and so on), as well. He got to 112 and was very happy with himself, and in addition, a big number is now 135!

For the 4th of July, it was a rainy, wet weekend, although the weather cooperated by being overcast, keeping the temperature down, and only raining when we were not outside. So on July 3, the City of Temple Terrace held Independence Day celebrations on July 3. We went to the parade in the morning, and in the evening went to the golf course to watch fireworks. While waiting for the parade and fireworks, we took a ball to play with. David hates taking turns - the kind where other people get turns, too. He has a very low frustration threshold, and also hates to lose, even when we're not playing in any kind of competitive way. So Saturday night we were waiting for fireworks, and we made friends with another single dad and his two girls (one was 8 and the other 12) at the golf course, and we were kicking a ball around, except that other people got turns, too. David was very unhappy at this turn of events, and I had to sit him down on the chair to calm down a couple of times, since it would just make him cry. And then he would cry a few minutes, very loudly. At some point he got up and went to play in one of the sand traps, and met another little girl, closer to his age, and when I went to check on him, he introduces me to Sophie. ("This is Sophie!") They were having a grand ol' time playing in the dirt, and throwing rocks (no one was around to get hit by the rocks)...I made sure that David had on some glow sticks/glow necklace so I wouldn't lose him in the dark. Besides, he thought it was great. David also ended up in the grass, so he's suddenly having itchy issues. He takes his Xyzal in the morning, and the Hydroxizine at night, but it's not enough to counter-act the grass. I just make sure to wash him well at night...and we had a very late night on July 3. But he loved loved loved the fireworks.

Sunday, July 4, we went to church in the morning. It was a combined service, and was originally intended to be outside, but as it was pouring down rain, outside didn't happen. David did very well in sitting down while most of it was going on, and didn't really protest much at about having sit still. Eventually, we ate lunch at the chuch, and then went outside to play on the water slide. It worked out because of the rain, which had slacked off to a sprinkle, and it was still overcast. Of course, he got more grass on him, and lots of mud. He had so much fun! When it was time to go, he went very willingly. He was tired! We got home, I gave him a bath, and then set him up on the couch to watch some TV, and ... zzzzzzzzzzz He fell right asleep. We then went to Mimi's for more July 4 celebrating. He loved the cheap, grocery store fireworks, that mainly throw sparks.

I've also been talking with him about keeping in touch while he's up at the Missouri. He doesn't know what to think about it, really. Neither do I. I figure once a week should be good...

Monday, we went to his grandparents' house up in Leesburg, so he could make the trip up to the Missouri. When we got there, he immediately went up to grandpa (aka Matt), and got a big hug. He was very good, and was definitely showing off, too. He was growly and feisty wanting to wrestle around and such. I showed them the dance recital, and the pictures I've sent up with him, and David got in the way, in that he would stand directly in front of my computer so no one else could see. It was actually pretty funny.

So that's a week and a half worth of things. David did pretty well in saying goodbye when it was time for me to go, and didn't cry too much. He has a good grandpa, because grandpa was very comforting to David, just holding him. I told David he needs to go see his mom, and that it's ok to miss me, but also not to worry about me missing him. It's good for him to see her. He called me before bed time to say good night. As I write this, he is on his way to the Missouri. And I'll be taking a 5 or 6 week break from writing this little weekly letter. Have a good summer.

David Weekly, V3 - 23

David did better at the recital than he did at the dress rehearsal. He was such a good performer! I will send pictures and video on disk when he goes back up there in July. There's a production company that professionally makes video of the kids dancing, so I'll make a copy or two and send those as well. On Tuesday (the day he was sick), he was asking about dancing practice: he wanted to be there for that. I told him that for the summer, there's no dancing. When he comes back from the Missouri, I'll see what I can do to make sure he's dancing again, and I'm thinking also of putting him in a sport, like soccer.

David loves going to Jesse's church...

David got a dinosaur egg from Cracker Barrel. The way it works is is that you set it in water for 24 - 48 hours, and it sssssssllllllllooooooowly hatches. David got really excited when it made the slightest change, which also means he was really keeping his eye on it. It hatched after two days, and then we took it out of its shell, because it was supposed to grow more.

Sunday, Mimi came over to our house for Father's Day, and David got out the book "There's a Wocket in my Pocket" (by Dr. Seuss) and read it to Mimi. There were a few words he doesn't know still, but he did a great job anyway. Most importantly, he did this completely of his own volition. He notes, too, that the book has a lot of rhyming words.

Monday was a bad day for David: he bit another child, and it would seem that it was for no other reason than the other child looked at David the wrong way. So, in addition to getting an X on the calendar, and no treat, I also took away TV, and have him go into Time Out when he got home. I don't know what to say or do to prevent this behavior, or what drives it.

Tuesday, David brought "There's a Wocket in my Pocket" to school, to show Ms. Tiffany that it has a lot of rhyming words. After about 2 seconds of showing it to her, David sat on the floor, and began to read the book aloud, with no one in particular to read it to, and a group of kids gathered around him to watch him read it! It was quite an amazing thing. And he read the book (mostly). He was very proud of himself for this. And so am I. Unfortunately, this is offset by his behavior: he spit on another child. Ms. Yolanda (another new teacher) and I discussed this a little bit, and it seems that David does not deal with rejection very well.

Wednesday was a good day for David (finally!). He got chocolate chip cookies for his reward.

Random detail: when Mimi was at our house, she called for me from the other room, and David came to me to say "Daddy, your mom wants you in the other room." It was interesting to see him figure out how to say that, and to take himself out of the relationship equation, as if it's not Mimi, or that I'm not his dad...

Friday morning, another trip to the doctor revealed that he still has nodules of some kind on his throat, so we swabbed it again and are having it sent to the lab for testing. He finished his medicine like a champ, but was happy when he didn't have to take it anymore. I asked the doctor about how often he gets sick, and she said he's one of the healthier children in her practice.

So another week has gone by...

David Weekly, V3 - 22

I forgot to mention that David got a medal for his dancing. He was very proud of it.

I also forgot to talk about his behavior from the calendar perspective: Thursday (June 10), he got neither a check mark, nor an X. It was an ambiguous day for him. David didn't like that. It's a big blank. He isn't sure what to do about that, because he had a bad day, in that he was very handsy and aggressive, but at the same time, did go to Time Out the way he was supposed to, and didn't challenge the teacher. As a result of this, I wasn't sure what to put, but it did get us to tightening the standards of what's expected to get a check mark. Friday, no one could think of anything, so that means, we hope, that he had a good day - his behavior didn't stand out.

Sunday morning, I had David help me with making blueberry muffins. He really likes doing that.

David went to Jared's birthday party, and had a blast. He was finally big enough to keep up with Jared and his friends. That made him very happy. David was, in fact, very well behaved at the party, all the way around.

After the party, we were hanging out at Rachel's house. David, when told by Avery, "Working through the pain," repeated after her, "Working in the paint." Avery thought that was sooo funny. Another thing David said was that we have to make sure to get Jared a birthday card for his birthday to make sure he "won't ever have another birthday again." So the implications of not getting a birthday card for Jared are dire: if we don't, he'll never have another birthday again!

Tuesday morning, David woke up with another fever. Another trip to the doctor revealed that we needed Augmentin, since the 10 days' worth of Amoxycillin didn't do the trick, apparently. Everyone (not just the doctor) asked me if I gave him the full course, and I said I did, since it's easy to just add another medicine to our daily routine of Xyzal in the morning, and Hydroxizine at night. So we stayed home Tuesday, and David took a nice long 3 hour nap in the middle of the day, didn't eat a whole lot, asked to have his temperature taken a lot, drank lots of gold-juice (orange juice), played a little bit on the computer, watched lots of kids' shows on TV...he wasn't as bad as last time he got sick, which was good. I allowed him to "keep" his fever since it never got higher than 101, and he wasn't too uncomfortable. It went away on its own by Wednesday morning, after two full doses (7.5 mL) of medicine, which David does not like.

David says: "Hello to all his friends from Florida to everywhere else, and I'm a little shy and I sometimes I am not and somebody hits me and I tell the teacher, and the little boy with a pointy head, he has a different head than us, and then he knocked down a whole big entire builiding w/ legos and I helped him build another one. And we had fun but he made another one then I went in Time Out and I stayed in Time Out until I played a game like hand and foot...you put each hand and foot on each color. And then Tremon did it, ... His name is Tremon, and when he left I got it and I did and then we were done."

- So it would seem he played Twister, and does and does not get along with another boy who has some serious hair going on. The staying in Time Out issue he's referring to is one of our big challenges: staying in Time Out when he's told. He gets so worked up about whatever it is (one of my big frustrations is I don't know what triggers this anger, no matter how many times I ask. David doesn't know - or isn't telling - and the teachers aren't so interested, or they are too used to kids fighting, but whatever it is, they just want it to stop) that he doesn't stop to calm down, and has to get in the last hit, no matter what.

Except for him being sick, this has been a pretty uneventful week. He was looking forward to more dancing, but since it's summer, no dancing. He also asks me all the time what various numbers added together are. "What's 2+2, daddy?" And so on.

David's birthday is coming up in 9 days. Things I think he would like: puzzles, dinosaur anything, more books, bakugon stuff, hot wheel cars, more stuff for him color with, clothes...this is the only child I've ever seen be very happy with getting clothes as a gift. He seems more content with not wearing red so much, by the way. And we're having his party at Dinosaur World again. David is very excited.

David Weekly, V3 - 21

David found his harmonica, and was playing "songs" on it. Normally, most kids that get a harmonica play with it by making some sounds, and then they're done, off to other things. But not David. He really played it for a while. Made me get my bamboo flute out and we played together...you're probably glad you missed the cacophony, but David watched me, and imitated some of my movements, like me licking my lips (which he imitated by licking his own lips), and saying "I taught myself this song", because that's what I had said about playing (I played do-ra-mi). He will pick it up and play it from time to time now, and uses the music as part of the stories he tells me about things at school, or whatever else is on his mind.

Lots of tidbits this week:

When David was sick last week, he was feeling hopeless: "I'll never get better" and he describes his being sick as "seasick."

David doesn't get the idea of "tall" vs "long"...so everything is a certain amount of tall...

Saturday morning, we went to the dojo to watch the karate class. I think we're going to wait for another year maybe for him to go to karate, because David wasn't totally getting it. It wasn't karate the way he was thinking, I think, because it was a class, with lots of practice and drills, and even the instructor was a little leary of having someone so young as the boy there. I did feel that it was a good choice, because it was truly defensive teaching, and based on character, and doing the right thing. There really was a lot of karate going on, it just didn't have the flash that I think he was expecting. He often got bored, and wanted to play, rather than watch. We watched the class in the background, and did a few of the exercises along with the class. David actually liked that part. He just requires more time and attention, and maybe a more age appropriate group. I'm still figuring it out. We may explore some other schools to see if there's something more suitable for him.

Went to the beach on Saturday evening. At one point I told David we have to start walking back toward our stuff, since the waves had carried us down the beach. On our way back, David said in a funny voice: "The waves are saying, 'Rusty and David, go this way...'" I about fell over laughing. What a great sense of humor this boy has!

Tuesday night, saw another kid down the street playing. He's Tyler, age 6. We went down to introduce ourselves, and hopefully these two boys can play some more in the future. David and Tyler didn't really interact as much as appreciate the fact that they were in the same playing area.

For David's behavior: I was told by Ms Tiffany that David's been acting out lately, but she hasn't been able to tell me about his behavior (because I get there after she leaves), so we will get a calendar at school for his behavior, too.

David's concept of a big number is 29. It's comparable to 1,000,000. He says something like, "I can count to 29, it's a big number, like a million!" ...When making other types of comparisons, he talks about "our land"...

David reacts to the TV more, when something is going "wrong", such as Curious George on TV doing the wrong thing, David sees this and will hide, or shout, or groan loudly, or go into the other room until the conflict has passed, which is usually a few seconds.

David has decided he like Jesse's baby after all, and entertains her in various ways, to make her laugh. He gets a kick out of it. Anna and Jesse came to our house and spent some time having dinner with us, and watching a movie. David really liked having them over.

David can climb and jump over the 3 foot fence in our yard, and stay upright!

David has a game we play: "I love you, daddy," he says. My job is to say, "I love you, too!" If I don't say it right, David repeats his line.

In discussing David's difficulty in falling asleep at bed time, he told me that the voices tell him to stay awake. Then he tells me that it's the animals in his body: the charlie horse, and the butterflies. He gets the animals from the Operation game. He says that the animals sleep all day and play at night, and that's what keeps him awake. I had a conversation with butterflies in his stomach, and the charlie horse in his leg, that they need to let him sleep, but then I thought of an even better one: tell the animals (or other voices that keep him awake) that he can see them in his dreams, and that it will be more fun there.

Friday night, David had his dance recital dress rehearsal, and was all dressed up in his cute little outfit! I'll sent pictures up there with him, along with some video that I took. Saturday June 12 is his recital. David did absolutely great! And he was very good because he sat and watched all the other dancers before it was his turn.

So that's a week...