Hmmm...venting update. I hope to be done with this soon.
So, the ex calls this morning at 11 AM, and says in a voicemail: "I didn't know when the party was, so I thought I'd wait to call." I was soooo mad about this that I didn't bother calling her back, and she didn't talk to David until this evening. I went about my day, went to work to put in some overtime, picked up the boy from his baby sitter, and then called her. I asked why didn't she call in the morning, because there's no way I'm having a party at 8 AM on a Sunday, and she tells me that she slept in, because her day and night are getting mixed up (because she has no job, and therefore, no structure to her life). I didn't bother with more details of this stupidity, because it would have just made me mad. David talked to her for a while, holding the phone up to everything, using it to "show" her some of his toys, and the "party" that was outside.
For David, the party is the decorations and such for the party. The people being there and hanging out doesn't count as the party. The reason I know this is because he would want to go out and see the 'party' after everyone had left, and in the morning, after we got up. Oh, and he calls the pool the warm pool, and the hot tub the hot pool. It's very cute.
He told her he went swimming, and she asked me if he's brave enough to be in the pool not being held by anyone (like having some kind of floatation thing where he's guaranteed not to drown), and I said not really. He hates any kind of floatation thing. She claimed that she put water wings on him and that he was willing to float out away from her, but within arms reach, because he did this at her parent's house in their pool.
There's not a snowball's chance in H E L L that he will allow anyone to even pretend to let go of him in the pool. That kid hangs on for dear life, and won't let me let go of him in the pool. As long as he has me to hold him, he feels safe, and has fun. I think my ex is living in a fairy tale if she's telling me this. She 'one ups' me every time I tell her of some progress he's making. And I'm like, "Why didn't you tell me this before?" Her response: "I thought I did tell you!" At some point he was done talking to her, and I want him to use the time he has to talk to her on the phone, but she says not to force it...ugh.
Anyway, he's looking forward to seeing her...in three weeks he'll be gone for 3 weeks.
Rusty
PS Thanks for listening.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Birthday Party
David was so funny since when we sang him Happy Birthday, he cried, and wanted all of us to stop. He liked having everyone over, I think. He was good about the presents, because each time he opened one, he wanted to play with it. What he got for his birthday: a camping play set, a case for HotWheels cars, a little RV type thing that holds a couple of cars and turns into a cool ramp, another little ramp/repair station set for his cars, a shirt, a book with little flip windows, a backhoe toy that's remote control, a remote control police car, a car that makes noises and drives itself forward. He also got a Scooby Doo DVD set, of the first season of "A Pup Called Scooby-Doo." And he got a horse ... it's a little stuffed horse head on a stick. The kind you ride on for pretend. I'm sure I'm missing one or two things.
Significantly, he has not received anything from his mother, including a phone call on his birthday.
Anyway, we spent the day swimming, going in the hot tub, eating cupcakes, and fruit salad, and ham and cheese sandwiches. It's amazing to me how much he can go and go and go on so little food. I left him with my sister for the first part of the day so that my mother and I could set up the house for the party. David was funny because he saw that the carport is where the "party" was. It's the majority of the decorations, really, that he was reacting to. I asked him what today is, and he said, "My Birthday!" He knew, after I told him once or twice. It really was a special day. :-)
Significantly, he has not received anything from his mother, including a phone call on his birthday.
Anyway, we spent the day swimming, going in the hot tub, eating cupcakes, and fruit salad, and ham and cheese sandwiches. It's amazing to me how much he can go and go and go on so little food. I left him with my sister for the first part of the day so that my mother and I could set up the house for the party. David was funny because he saw that the carport is where the "party" was. It's the majority of the decorations, really, that he was reacting to. I asked him what today is, and he said, "My Birthday!" He knew, after I told him once or twice. It really was a special day. :-)
Breakfast
I need to remember not to ask David what he wants for breakfast, or if I do, that sometimes he's going to say no to everything, and that if he does, I just need to fix him something regardless. He said yes to waffles this morning, but I gave him scrambled eggs anyway, and he ate them. So that was good. Before he ate, he was a total brat! I need to get better about this. Ugh.
He's also doing something new: he's become more passively resistant to me. When he gets in trouble, and I have to pick him up for Time Out, he goes limp on me. A little puddle of crying boy that becomes that much more difficult to pick up. He also now just lays on the floor and fusses/cries, not a tantrum, really, but just upsetness manifesting itself.
He's also doing something new: he's become more passively resistant to me. When he gets in trouble, and I have to pick him up for Time Out, he goes limp on me. A little puddle of crying boy that becomes that much more difficult to pick up. He also now just lays on the floor and fusses/cries, not a tantrum, really, but just upsetness manifesting itself.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
And now, for a little vent
So I had a great party for my DS today, and it went off well, mostly thanks to my mom. She's been driving me crazy for two weeks to get my house cleaned up and ready, and I've been allowing this to go on because I know she's right. But it's all done! DS had a great party, and got some cool toys for his birthday...
And we did not hear a peep out of his mom. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Friends of mine called wish him a Happy Birthday. My mom and my sister came to the party of course, but where was his mom?????WHERE???WHERE??? David didn't notice. He didn't ask where she was, or ask to call her...which, he never asks to call her. I finally gave in at 8PM and called her, but no answer. I know she's 1000 miles away, but no phone call? No text? No happy birthday song? I've received nothing from her like a birthday card, or a present...In fact, none of his extended family sent anything here for his birthday. I can only hope they have a party for him up there when he goes in 3 weeks. A lady at work gave me a card for him! With money in it! It's been bugging me all day long...somewhere, in the back of my mind, the WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO HIM didn't call. And wasn't calling, because I'd check every so often.
David has no idea how upset I am about this. All he knows is that it's his birthday, and that he had a party. The carport was the "party" because he'd tell people that's where the party was, because it was all decorated with Sponge Bob stuff, streamers, the works. That's all my mom. He knows that people came to the party, and he played in the pool and the hot tub, and ate some sandwiches. And drank a lot of juice boxes. I asked him a million times how old he is, just hear him say "Free"...sometimes he wouldn't say anything at all; I think he got tired of me asking.
So there you have it. This turned out to be a bit longer than I thought it would be. Thanks for listening. I need to get the lump of anger out of my throat though, somehow. Grrrrrrrrr.....
And we did not hear a peep out of his mom. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Friends of mine called wish him a Happy Birthday. My mom and my sister came to the party of course, but where was his mom?????WHERE???WHERE??? David didn't notice. He didn't ask where she was, or ask to call her...which, he never asks to call her. I finally gave in at 8PM and called her, but no answer. I know she's 1000 miles away, but no phone call? No text? No happy birthday song? I've received nothing from her like a birthday card, or a present...In fact, none of his extended family sent anything here for his birthday. I can only hope they have a party for him up there when he goes in 3 weeks. A lady at work gave me a card for him! With money in it! It's been bugging me all day long...somewhere, in the back of my mind, the WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO HIM didn't call. And wasn't calling, because I'd check every so often.
David has no idea how upset I am about this. All he knows is that it's his birthday, and that he had a party. The carport was the "party" because he'd tell people that's where the party was, because it was all decorated with Sponge Bob stuff, streamers, the works. That's all my mom. He knows that people came to the party, and he played in the pool and the hot tub, and ate some sandwiches. And drank a lot of juice boxes. I asked him a million times how old he is, just hear him say "Free"...sometimes he wouldn't say anything at all; I think he got tired of me asking.
So there you have it. This turned out to be a bit longer than I thought it would be. Thanks for listening. I need to get the lump of anger out of my throat though, somehow. Grrrrrrrrr.....
Happy Birthday to David!
June 29, 2005, my little boy came into the world. That was a traumatic and blessed day, because he had to be born by C-Section unexpectedly. After he was born, I had to go spend about two hours with my now ex-wife while she recovered, and I made my mom and my sister stand in front of the nursery window for 2 hours straight to make sure not to lose track of him, never mind that he's unique...
It's three years later, and I'm his only parent most of the time, though I get help from my neighbor, and his regular day care provider, and my mom and sister, and all of the wonderful people on this board. He's a fine little boy, full of challenge and delight.
When I look for myself in him, I see me, and I see his mother. I can point to his feet and say he got them from his mom, or I can see my own eyes in his face. And everything in between is a mix of the my ex and me.
It's an amazing thing to have a child, and I'm grateful and blessed to have him on his 3rd birthday. Happy Birthday to you, David. I love you very much.
Rusty
It's three years later, and I'm his only parent most of the time, though I get help from my neighbor, and his regular day care provider, and my mom and sister, and all of the wonderful people on this board. He's a fine little boy, full of challenge and delight.
When I look for myself in him, I see me, and I see his mother. I can point to his feet and say he got them from his mom, or I can see my own eyes in his face. And everything in between is a mix of the my ex and me.
It's an amazing thing to have a child, and I'm grateful and blessed to have him on his 3rd birthday. Happy Birthday to you, David. I love you very much.
Rusty
Friday, June 27, 2008
David Weekly, #23
Hello all...David's 3rd birthday is Sunday, and the pool is back in business, and so is the hot tub. Of course, David calls it the warm pool, or sometimes the hot tub, making sure to sound out each syllable. Hot, Tub. He's been blowing bubbles in the water, which is good practice for learning how to swim. He doesn't like going in the pool as much, though. And he absolutely does not want any kind of floatation device to help him be in the water by himself: no floaties, no special floatie-type suit, nothing. He wants to be held!
The other day we were watching Super Why! and they asked the viewer to pick out a word out of the three choices, and he got it! I was so happy. And so was he!
I'm beginning to see him mature in little ways that are becoming bigger, such as eating. I gave him a lunch of a slice of ham, some tomato diced up, and bread with butter on it. He ate all of it, and more importantly, sat in one place to eat it, all by himself. Him eating is one of the most frustrating and difficult things I do with him on a daily basis. He also likes eating cereal, and he now puts the spoon in his mouth while over the bowl, so that drippage and spillage simply go back into the bowl, rather than on the table. I haven't figured out how to get him to hold his spoon in the "non-shovel" position, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. I remember learning how to hold a fork and spoon when I was older, and how awkward it felt because I wasn't used to it. He also is getting more independent with getting dressed: he wants to pick out his clothes, which isn't new, since he sometimes would reject a certain outfit from time to time, which has been going on for at least a year, if not longer, but now he can go pick out his clothes and after I pull the shirt down over his head he wants to have me not help him put his arms in the sleeves. He says, "I do it!" with great authority.
Another way he's maturing is that he's able to do more of what he wants, such as throw a ball. He can throw it harder and farther than before, and he loves it! Of course, this creates a problem for me, since he wants to throw the ball inside, where it can do some damage depending on what's around. So naturally, he gets in trouble for it. When he gets in trouble, he's beginning to ask "Why?" Now, I'm not sure if he's asking this question thinking he'll get an answer, or if it's a more general way of complaining that this is unjustified in some way, or that he's capable of such a complex thought. In any case, "why" questions are good, since I can answer, "Because I said so." Or really, try to give him an answer he can understand.
For David's birthday, I bought an annual family pass to Lowry Park Zoo, so now we can go any time we want for the cost of the gas to get there and back. It will be nice. We also get some other stuff free I'm pretty sure. I'll have to read up on it, though. David loves the zoo, and wants to go see the animals. He gets mad every so often, because when he thinks about going to the zoo, we don't go. Now we can. :-)
And I'm trying to teach David how to say that he's 3 years old. It will take some more practice, I think.
For father's day, my mother bought a book for to fill out called "A Father's Legacy"...it's pretty detailed in the questions it asks, such as my family tree (going back 3 generations), childhood, jobs, siblings, and very detailed questions, too. Stuff you have to think about. You can't just breeze through this book and write things down, you really have to reflect. I'm going to do my best to work through it for David's sake, though. It's hard to examine your life like that.
On the occasion of David's birthday, I will always remember how he came into this world, and the struggles we have gone through to get him to where he is now. And I look forward to where he is going...
I hope that you have a chance to look back every so often, see where you have gone, and find some reward in where you are now, and see some bright hope for your future.
Rusty
The other day we were watching Super Why! and they asked the viewer to pick out a word out of the three choices, and he got it! I was so happy. And so was he!
I'm beginning to see him mature in little ways that are becoming bigger, such as eating. I gave him a lunch of a slice of ham, some tomato diced up, and bread with butter on it. He ate all of it, and more importantly, sat in one place to eat it, all by himself. Him eating is one of the most frustrating and difficult things I do with him on a daily basis. He also likes eating cereal, and he now puts the spoon in his mouth while over the bowl, so that drippage and spillage simply go back into the bowl, rather than on the table. I haven't figured out how to get him to hold his spoon in the "non-shovel" position, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. I remember learning how to hold a fork and spoon when I was older, and how awkward it felt because I wasn't used to it. He also is getting more independent with getting dressed: he wants to pick out his clothes, which isn't new, since he sometimes would reject a certain outfit from time to time, which has been going on for at least a year, if not longer, but now he can go pick out his clothes and after I pull the shirt down over his head he wants to have me not help him put his arms in the sleeves. He says, "I do it!" with great authority.
Another way he's maturing is that he's able to do more of what he wants, such as throw a ball. He can throw it harder and farther than before, and he loves it! Of course, this creates a problem for me, since he wants to throw the ball inside, where it can do some damage depending on what's around. So naturally, he gets in trouble for it. When he gets in trouble, he's beginning to ask "Why?" Now, I'm not sure if he's asking this question thinking he'll get an answer, or if it's a more general way of complaining that this is unjustified in some way, or that he's capable of such a complex thought. In any case, "why" questions are good, since I can answer, "Because I said so." Or really, try to give him an answer he can understand.
For David's birthday, I bought an annual family pass to Lowry Park Zoo, so now we can go any time we want for the cost of the gas to get there and back. It will be nice. We also get some other stuff free I'm pretty sure. I'll have to read up on it, though. David loves the zoo, and wants to go see the animals. He gets mad every so often, because when he thinks about going to the zoo, we don't go. Now we can. :-)
And I'm trying to teach David how to say that he's 3 years old. It will take some more practice, I think.
For father's day, my mother bought a book for to fill out called "A Father's Legacy"...it's pretty detailed in the questions it asks, such as my family tree (going back 3 generations), childhood, jobs, siblings, and very detailed questions, too. Stuff you have to think about. You can't just breeze through this book and write things down, you really have to reflect. I'm going to do my best to work through it for David's sake, though. It's hard to examine your life like that.
On the occasion of David's birthday, I will always remember how he came into this world, and the struggles we have gone through to get him to where he is now. And I look forward to where he is going...
I hope that you have a chance to look back every so often, see where you have gone, and find some reward in where you are now, and see some bright hope for your future.
Rusty
Friday, June 20, 2008
David Weekly, #22
We have had a great week! Last Saturday was David's cousin's birthday (Jared), who is now 6! David's birthday is June 29, so we're going to have a party for him here at my house for him, in the back yard, with the pool, and hot tub, and lots and lots of activity. Invited are family and a few of the kids from his day care, and a few of the neighborhood kids, too.
David had lots of fun at Jared's birthday party, with a bit of swimming, since he really didn't want to go in the pool...he was more content to run around the pool...at one point when Jared was opening presents, David interrupted the action with an intro saying, essentially, "Look at me!" and then nothing else. It was pretty funny.
Sunday we spent mostly at home, but went across the street to play with Ella for a bit, and my mom came by...
During the week, David has discovered books! He will randomly pick them up and ask me to read to him, and it's becoming more frequent. Since I want to encourage this behavior, I've read some books to him! He's also not attached to the TV, which I find interesting. I think he just wants it on more for the noise than to really watch it. He does follow Super Why!, and sometimes stops what he's doing to watch a small part of whatever's on. He will have me sit in the living room with him to watch TV with him or whatever it he's doing. He's learned how to sumersault, and he does it with gusto! And he wants me to see, of course. "I show you," he says. And grabs my finger and drags me where he wants to show me whatever it is, like his sumersaults.
Back to the TV for a second...sometimes he doesn't even want it on! No, he wants to watch "Big Kids Central", a potty training video. My mother got this for David, and he loves it. He calls it Big Kids Cestral, not being able to put together the 'nt' sound...and he really wants to watch the little music videos that they have in between the segments, or play the little games they have about the potty (For example, two pictures of toilets, one at home, and the other a public one, and the question, "Which is the potty away from home?") But there's about 5 different "music videos" , and he has to play them over and over. And they're really short, too. They are identified by their colors, so he says, "The green one" or "The blue one"...it's helped with bath time, interestingly, since he has a concept of "getting clean" now that he didn't have before. He still hates baths, but they make more sense to him now.
Today we had Avery, Jared, my sister, my mom, and our neighbor come over and play in the hot tub...okay, the adults didn't really play in the hot tub. Rachel helped me fix the pool that had gotten into a state of disrepair, to put it mildly, and it's taken quite a while to fill up the pool. David had his toe crunched under a door when he and Jared were having a fight about whether the door should be closed, but David got over it pretty quick, and later on was saying, "It's better!" I don't have a good way or relaying the way he says it, because it's not as clear as that, but it isn't completely baby talk, either. It's just good that he is able to identify when things are bad, and when they aren't. I appreciate that he can tell me when things happen, or what's going on.
David is learning how to hmmm...how shall I say, turn things to his advantage? He has a hierarchy of things that he'd rather do. Go to Dot's? No, "take a nap at daddy's house." Actually, now that I think about it, that's the preferred activity of his to get out of doing just about anything. Do this? No, take a nap. Do that? No, go lay down, take a nap...He just volunteers. In the mornings sometimes I wake up with him next to me, and one day I was pushing him away from me, and he says, "Wlove you" over and over...he just wants to snuggle up to me, or put his feet on me...or push me off my bed.
David asked to go the zoo again today, so I think I'll make that his birthday present: annual passes to the zoo. He really likes the animals.
Last thing: David is in "throwing mode" again. He throws balls, and toys, and stuffed animals, especially "Blue" from Blues Clues, and the singing talking dog toy...it's kinda strange when he throws it and it says, "Hug me!" or "I love you" after he's been mean to it by throwing it. He doesn't throw it out of malice, but just because he can hold it easily by the tail and give it a good heave! And it's a bit heavier than his other toys. Naturally, this gets stern warnings from me, but he still does it.
It's the first day of summer today, so I hope you have many days of summer fun and excitement!
Rusty
David had lots of fun at Jared's birthday party, with a bit of swimming, since he really didn't want to go in the pool...he was more content to run around the pool...at one point when Jared was opening presents, David interrupted the action with an intro saying, essentially, "Look at me!" and then nothing else. It was pretty funny.
Sunday we spent mostly at home, but went across the street to play with Ella for a bit, and my mom came by...
During the week, David has discovered books! He will randomly pick them up and ask me to read to him, and it's becoming more frequent. Since I want to encourage this behavior, I've read some books to him! He's also not attached to the TV, which I find interesting. I think he just wants it on more for the noise than to really watch it. He does follow Super Why!, and sometimes stops what he's doing to watch a small part of whatever's on. He will have me sit in the living room with him to watch TV with him or whatever it he's doing. He's learned how to sumersault, and he does it with gusto! And he wants me to see, of course. "I show you," he says. And grabs my finger and drags me where he wants to show me whatever it is, like his sumersaults.
Back to the TV for a second...sometimes he doesn't even want it on! No, he wants to watch "Big Kids Central", a potty training video. My mother got this for David, and he loves it. He calls it Big Kids Cestral, not being able to put together the 'nt' sound...and he really wants to watch the little music videos that they have in between the segments, or play the little games they have about the potty (For example, two pictures of toilets, one at home, and the other a public one, and the question, "Which is the potty away from home?") But there's about 5 different "music videos" , and he has to play them over and over. And they're really short, too. They are identified by their colors, so he says, "The green one" or "The blue one"...it's helped with bath time, interestingly, since he has a concept of "getting clean" now that he didn't have before. He still hates baths, but they make more sense to him now.
Today we had Avery, Jared, my sister, my mom, and our neighbor come over and play in the hot tub...okay, the adults didn't really play in the hot tub. Rachel helped me fix the pool that had gotten into a state of disrepair, to put it mildly, and it's taken quite a while to fill up the pool. David had his toe crunched under a door when he and Jared were having a fight about whether the door should be closed, but David got over it pretty quick, and later on was saying, "It's better!" I don't have a good way or relaying the way he says it, because it's not as clear as that, but it isn't completely baby talk, either. It's just good that he is able to identify when things are bad, and when they aren't. I appreciate that he can tell me when things happen, or what's going on.
David is learning how to hmmm...how shall I say, turn things to his advantage? He has a hierarchy of things that he'd rather do. Go to Dot's? No, "take a nap at daddy's house." Actually, now that I think about it, that's the preferred activity of his to get out of doing just about anything. Do this? No, take a nap. Do that? No, go lay down, take a nap...He just volunteers. In the mornings sometimes I wake up with him next to me, and one day I was pushing him away from me, and he says, "Wlove you" over and over...he just wants to snuggle up to me, or put his feet on me...or push me off my bed.
David asked to go the zoo again today, so I think I'll make that his birthday present: annual passes to the zoo. He really likes the animals.
Last thing: David is in "throwing mode" again. He throws balls, and toys, and stuffed animals, especially "Blue" from Blues Clues, and the singing talking dog toy...it's kinda strange when he throws it and it says, "Hug me!" or "I love you" after he's been mean to it by throwing it. He doesn't throw it out of malice, but just because he can hold it easily by the tail and give it a good heave! And it's a bit heavier than his other toys. Naturally, this gets stern warnings from me, but he still does it.
It's the first day of summer today, so I hope you have many days of summer fun and excitement!
Rusty
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